Host: Let's meet contestant number one He's a schizophrenic, serial killer clown Who says women love his sexy smile. Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon Sharon, what's your question? Sharon: Contestant number one, I believe first impressions last forever. So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house And have dinner with me and my family. Tell me what you would do to make that first impression really stick. Contestant #1: Let's see, hmm, well, I'd have to think about it I might show up in a tux (HA!), but I doubt it I'd probably just show up naked like I always do And look your momma in the eye and tell her "FUCK YOU!!!" Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti I'd pinch her lumpy ass and tell her "Get the food ready!" Your dad'll start tripping and get me pissed I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips! It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother I'm steady starin' at your sister, I'll tell you this, "You know, for only thirteen, she got some big tits." After that, your dad'll probably jump again But only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin After your mom does the dishes and the silverware I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear Host: Now, let's meet contestant number two He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak Who works for the Dark Carnival. He says women call him stretch nuts. Sharon, let's hear your question Sharon: I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, A man who expresses himself in his own special way. Number two, if you fell in love with me Exactly how would you let me know? Contestant #2: First thing, I could never love you. You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!! But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care By taking all these other mother fuckers outta here I'd go through your phone book, and whack 'em all And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw Contestant #1:WHAT?! Contestant #2: Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay I'd be blowin' fucking nuggets off all day I'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!! When we go to the beach and walk through the sand I throw a little in your face and say "I'm just playin'" As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back And grab your underwear and WEDGE IT UP YOUR ASS CRACK! Host: Well it sounds like contestant number two Is just over-flowing with sensitivity, Sharon It's a tough choice so far. Sharon, let's have your last question and See which one is going to win the rights to your neden Sharon: Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins! Contestant #1: Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar And tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are I'd tell that I like the way you make your titties shake And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rikki Lake! Contestant #2: Fuck that, you'd be talking me quick I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in the crowded place I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face Contestant #1: Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her! Contestant #2: Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better! Contestant #1: Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap. Shit, you don't want contestant number two - he's mad-whack. I walk into a barn and there he was Standing up on a bucket, hehhehheh, tryinna fuck it. It was a big, fucking smelly ass farm llama. Contestant #2: DAAMN DAWG! Contestant #2: How you gonna diss your momma?! Så jävla bra!

Annons

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April 2009