Friday 3 July 2015 photo 7/15
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Anything above a size four is large, you have to fit into Hollister clothes, you have to have a flat stomach and boobs that are bigger than a B cup, your ass can’t be flat, your hair has to be long, you always have to have prominent cheekbones and your collarbones and hipbones must be showing.
You were constantly finding new things to worry about, is my back fat falling over my bra? Why isn’t my hair sitting right? Oh god it’s so embarrassing asking for a larger size when you’re in the dressing room. Jean shopping was your absolute worst enemy. You hated it when your little muffin top got squished and looked disgusting. There was always something you hated about your body and you had no idea how you managed to swoon over Nate Maloley to fall in love with every part of you–and yes, that means the muffin top.
Currently, Nate was rested on top of you working on your neck skillfully with his lips, his hands slide up your thighs and you flinch, oh god you hated your thick thighs that looked abnormally large in pretty much everything except black, “did I-did I do something?" He questions noticing the tension in your body. He breaks away and looks at you quizzically.
You swallow thickly, “no it just still feels weird that you aren’t disgusted with the way I look." Nate tilts his head to the side narrowing his eyes, “don’t look at me like that." You say with a pout, sitting up as Nate crawls off of you and sits beside you.
“It’s like, you don’t realize how crazy attractive you are to me, and it scares me how many issues you have with yourself." He looks back at you and you sigh, moving to cover your stomach with your forearm, “like, you make me turn off all the lights when we have sex and I haven’t seen you naked in the light yet and we’ve been dating for four months. I can only touch certain parts of you, but lil’ mama, I honestly don’t care."
You sigh, “Nate…I’m not tiny, okay? I’m not skinny with curves in just the right places my fat is in all of the wrong places and I have stretch marks everywhere."
“And? It’s you, it’s your body I don’t give a fuck." It wasn’t really Nate’s issue with you, it was your issues with yourself and it made you very upset that you couldn’t just get past it, “you know what, listen to me, when I first met you I liked you because I had been so many other little sticks and then you came with this killer personality, and these amazing curves that I could grab onto, and those beautiful thighs that I could rest my hand on while I’m driving. I love you, and I would love you if you weighed more and I would love you if you weighed less just the same because you are the person that is there for me when it’s two in the morning and I have food poisoning, or the person who makes me dinner after a long day and does my laundry and supports me and sticks up for me and everything else that you do to me…" he trails off, quieting his ranting.
“It’s honestly not you, it’s me and how I feel about myself," you admit, diverting eye contact so you wouldn’t get upset. Loving yourself was hard, but letting yourself be loved was even harder.
Nate looks around the room and gently grabs your hand, “come on, stand up." He pulls you up with him and makes you stand in front of him, “you know, I feel like I’m the ugly duckling compared to the rest of the guys–I didn’t get the Mudd campaign because I didn’t fit their look, and mostly girls at meet and greets go hug them before they hug me." His jaw is tense and his eyes are low, you reach out, running your hands over his toned stomach and chest.
“You’re not the ugly duckling, you’re absolutely perfect." You assure him, Nate uses his hands to slowly lift his t-shirt over his head. You watch in awe as his muscles flex, he was toned and looked amazing you couldn’t believe that he thought of himself as anything less than perfect. With another swift moment, he strips his pants off and kicks them off in a direction away from you both. Finally, he peels his boxers off, letting them drop to the floor he stood there completely exposed in front of you.
Nate shrugs, “Maybe I am the ugly duckling, but you make me feel comfortable enough to do this and I want to help you feel the same way." You purse your lips, tilting your head to the side as you thought about his comment, “what’s the worse that can happen? I see a little bit of fat?"
You shrug, “I don’t want to disappoint you."
Nate scoffs, “babygirl, you can’t disappoint me, you succeed my expectations every single day by just being you."
You make eye contact with him, and can’t help but smile back as a grin toys on his lips, “alright." You slip off his hoodie that you borrowed that you felt like should be a little baggier on you and Nate presses a reassuring kiss to your lips.
“Keep going."
With another movement, you take off your t-shirt so you’re only in your bra. Nate’s smile widens and he leans forward to kiss down your neck and onto your shoulder.
“Keep going," he breathes.
Taking off your jeans was your biggest fear, because you wore your jeans so tight they held everything in, you were scared of him seeing the cellulite on your thighs. Nonetheless, you unbutton your jeans and peel them off so you’re now just in your bra and panties, and you looked nothing like a Victoria’s Secret Model.
Nate pulls you into him and gazes at you with admiration, lips finding yours he kisses you sincerely, “you are absolutely stunning, I love you so fucking much." You felt relieved, because there was absolutely no more hiding, there didn’t have to be sex in the dark anymore because he had seen you. In one liquid motion, Nate unclasps your bra and slips it off your shoulders.
“Thank you, I love you too." You murmur with gratitude, Nate truly was one of a kind and you were so lucky to have a person like him in your life.
As you let Nate touch you and see you in places you used to be so conscious about, you gain a newfound confidence about yourself…because if he loved it, why couldn’t you?
Annons