This note should be pretty easy to undertsand. All the warnings from the punktock 101 courses ove the year since my first introduction to..the show shall we say, ethics involded with independence.. and the embracement of your community, it's proven to be true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along whit really writning somting for too many years now. Ifeel quilty beyond words about these things for example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the roar of the crowd begins, it doesn's affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and adoration of the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you, anyone of you. It simply isn't fair to you or to me. The worst crime I can think of would be to pull people off by faking it. Pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes i feel as i should have a punch-in timeclock before i walk out on stage. I'v tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God belive me, i do. But it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I and we have effected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciates tings when they're alone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once have as a child. On our last 3 tours I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I know personally, and as fans of uor music, but I still can't get out the frustration to gather the empathy I have for everybody. There's god in all of ous and I simply love people too much soo much that it makes me fell just too fucking sad. sad little sensative unappreciative pieces. I have it good, very good, and i'm gratefull...but since the ages of 7 I've become hatfull towards all humans...in general only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy, empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauserous stomach for your letters... and concern during the last years. I'm too much of an erratic moody person and I don't have the passion anymore. So rememeber... It's better to burn out than fade away Peace, love and empathy Kurt Cobain May God’s love be with you Always May God’s love be with you

Annons

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November 2010