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Ekman Martina Ekman (BloodMartini) Stockholm ,Stockholm

May 2013

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April

2012

Monday 22 March 2010 photo 2/2

I'm sad, angry, worried, angry, confused, angry, tired...
Did I mention angry?
Why? Because it never ends!
First we move from all my friends and I start in a school where I have to fight to survive and cried every day for two years until I kicked a guy in the head.
Then I turned nine.
Mom and dad fighting, mom gets depressed, my older sister get depressed and I always thought everything was my fault. I've heard that's what children does.
Then my mom changed job and got better, dad did the same and made more money making it easier to live, my sister got help and everything started to look up as I started getting friends and everything.
Then my friends started getting depressed.
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE BRINGING ME DOWN!!!
I am here to listen, to be understanding 24/7 but would it kill people to care back? Would they die from asking "what's wrong?" instead of when I try to share my misery allways somehow lead the conversation in on themselves?
I'm not comfortable talking about my bad sides and things that makes me sad, which is why I'm writing it down.
It's not that I don't know what to say, clearly, but I choke and can't make a sound when I try.
So yeah. I'm angry and I'm sick of people not knowing.
I would like to add that I have friends who are not depressed, good listeners and not self centered whom I love and adore <3

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I'm sad, angry, worried, angry, confused, angry, tired...
Did I mention angry?

Why? Because it never ends!

First we move from all my friends and I start in a school where I have to fight to survive and cried every day for two years until I kicked a guy in the head.
Then I turned nine.

Mom and dad fighting, mom gets depressed, my older sister get depressed and I always thought everything was my fault. I've heard that's what children does.

Then my mom changed job and got better, dad did the same and made more money making it easier to live, my sister got help and everything started to look up as I started getting friends and everything.

Then my friends started getting depressed.

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE BRINGING ME DOWN!!!

I am here to listen, to be understanding 24/7 but would it kill people to care back? Would they die from asking "what's wrong?" instead of when I try to share my misery allways somehow lead the conversation in on themselves?

I'm not comfortable talking about my bad sides and things that makes me sad, which is why I'm writing it down.

It's not that I don't know what to say, clearly, but I choke and can't make a sound when I try.

So yeah. I'm angry and I'm sick of people not knowing.

I would like to add that I have friends who are not depressed, good listeners and not self centered whom I love and adore <3

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Rasmus Thorne

Rasmus Thorne Tue 23 Mar 2010 20:18

love you darling, hoppas att människor blir gladare snart så du inte behöver känna att du bär hela världen. En bra vän lyssnar, men ska inte behöva må dåligt på grund av det. Om du inte orkar lyssna på depp hela tiden, Försök att säga att du inte kan ta det just nu och tar det hellre sen.
Du är awesome!

BloodMartini Tue 23 Mar 2010 20:59

Tack <3

Reply

fffiaa

fffiaa Tue 23 Mar 2010 14:43

:) puss

BloodMartini Tue 23 Mar 2010 15:10

:) puss

Reply

AmandaXoxo

AmandaXoxo Mon 22 Mar 2010 21:15

I love u

BloodMartini Mon 22 Mar 2010 21:23

I love u too

Reply

Hattmakerskan

Hattmakerskan Mon 22 Mar 2010 20:03

känner mig träffad...'_' gooomeee!!!!

BloodMartini Mon 22 Mar 2010 20:09

men gumman, du behöver inte känna dig träffad *krama*

Hattmakerskan Mon 22 Mar 2010 20:12

:o *krama*

Reply

Anonymous Mon 22 Mar 2010 19:50

:( That sucks, it does... *krama*

BloodMartini Mon 22 Mar 2010 20:06

*krama tillbaka*

Reply

Dee-Kej

Dee-Kej Mon 22 Mar 2010 16:28

*hugs*

Reply

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