När jag hade sned lugg:) och hade precis för första gpngen färgat mitt hår svart:D

I called
And the calling card hung up on me after one minute.
I cried hysterically for you.
You sounded annoyed with me.
But you should be.
I'm too obsessed.

I called Stephanie
Sobbing, blood rushing to my head
She had no idea what to do.
I'm so happy she just listened though.
I miss you.
I want to hear your laughter again.

How long will we be apart?
Will this tear apart our relationship?
Without my love
And with Johanna's
It'll be hard to be faithful.
Will you read this when you get back,
Having fallen out of love with me,
Feeling gulity?
I don't want you to hurt
But I'm such a selfish girl.
I don't want to hurt either.

You have a summer job?
Did you take it for me
Or am I flattering myself?
If you took it to help pay
For November
Then I am so happy beyond reason.
I wish you didn't inconvience yourself for me.
I just want you to be happy.

And yet
I'm happy when you do things for me.
I've never been in a reltaionship
Where anyone's done anything for me.
So this is new.
And weird.
I hate liking it
Because it's ME who should spoil you
And it's ME who should inconvience myself.

It's me who should face pain
It's me who should take everything bad off you
But I don't
Because I'm afraid.

I want you to know
I'm getting help.
I'm helping myself so I can help you.
I'll be healthy again.
I won't be jealous.
I won't be as obsessive.
You'll love me better for it.
And I'll be happy
And you'll be happy because I'm happy.

My obsession will stop spiraling
And controlling my life.
I will love you properly.
I will love you as one should.
I will love you right.
I will love you right.