August
Monday 15 November 2010 photo 2/3
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Why did I think that you could keep the darkness away, when I knew that thinking about you would only bring more pain to my life? Thinking that everything was going to be alright was a naïve act from my part, but why is being naïve so wrong?
Standing at the edge of myself, looking out into the abyss of darkness that has been the maker of the way I am and how I see myself.
Look in to my empty eyes, tell me what is written, and tell me I’m not to be afraid.
This is my words, the words of a madman. The words I see as the truth. If you see me as strong I thank you, but unfortunately that is not the case as it is. I can’t stand without help. I can’t breathe without the aid of another soul.
Look at me. See me for who I am.
The phones are quiet, the wind outside is still, but my ears are burning with the words from the one inside, trying to tell me why I’m so miserable. But I won’t listen, that will take effort from the power I’m using to keep myself sane.
Sane, what a useless word if it doesn’t help you at all. A word that implies that some day because of your sanity you will be free of the madness that is driving you to the edge of your life, to eventually stand there, looking over the edge, gazing in to the darkness, yet again to realize that it will only drive you to take the leap over the edge.
Chopping at the hard exterior of who I am. But there is no end to the faces I have put up to escape who I am, or the judging look from the people around me.
Are you my brother? Are you my sister? What will ever become of me?
Everything that you are, everything that I’m, it is what defines our relationship.
Put me away, lay me to rest, let me go. Watch me pass into the shadows. A breaking heart is hard to mend, I’ve been trying for so long, too long. It has made me into the cold man I am.
Putting out the cigarette, like putting out a life. Feet on my pillow with eyes fixed on the screen, like so many nights before. Wondering why I bother going on, knowing that I will go on until it is my turn.
Don’t be afraid, do not fear, its okay. I won’t be here forever so there is no cause for alarm on anybody’s part.
Night Night
Standing at the edge of myself, looking out into the abyss of darkness that has been the maker of the way I am and how I see myself.
Look in to my empty eyes, tell me what is written, and tell me I’m not to be afraid.
This is my words, the words of a madman. The words I see as the truth. If you see me as strong I thank you, but unfortunately that is not the case as it is. I can’t stand without help. I can’t breathe without the aid of another soul.
Look at me. See me for who I am.
The phones are quiet, the wind outside is still, but my ears are burning with the words from the one inside, trying to tell me why I’m so miserable. But I won’t listen, that will take effort from the power I’m using to keep myself sane.
Sane, what a useless word if it doesn’t help you at all. A word that implies that some day because of your sanity you will be free of the madness that is driving you to the edge of your life, to eventually stand there, looking over the edge, gazing in to the darkness, yet again to realize that it will only drive you to take the leap over the edge.
Chopping at the hard exterior of who I am. But there is no end to the faces I have put up to escape who I am, or the judging look from the people around me.
Are you my brother? Are you my sister? What will ever become of me?
Everything that you are, everything that I’m, it is what defines our relationship.
Put me away, lay me to rest, let me go. Watch me pass into the shadows. A breaking heart is hard to mend, I’ve been trying for so long, too long. It has made me into the cold man I am.
Putting out the cigarette, like putting out a life. Feet on my pillow with eyes fixed on the screen, like so many nights before. Wondering why I bother going on, knowing that I will go on until it is my turn.
Don’t be afraid, do not fear, its okay. I won’t be here forever so there is no cause for alarm on anybody’s part.
Night Night
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