Friday 24 April 2009 photo 5/5
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- The Six Ninja food groups are:
- Sex
- Sexy Cookies
- Small Kittens
- Vengeance
- Death
- Babies
- Ninja are boobie orgasms.
- Ninja fight ALL the time. [1]
- they kill people and eat all the time.
- Ninja like to keep kittens purring by rubbing their cute little bellies. See the Proof! If you see a kitten purring for no reason, there is undoubtedly an unseen ninja rubbing its belly.
- Ninja are silent but deadly.
- Ninja can have sex with themselves, even if their eyes are closed.
- All ninja can wail on an electric guitar. However, they generally choose not to, as this tends to alert people to their presence.
- Ninja and PIRATEs do NOT get along.
- All Ninji grow up to be killed by Chuck Norris
- Ninja can kill people and not even think twice about it. In fact, it would be surprising if they thought once about it. Killing people is as much reflex for them as breathing.
- High-level Ninja can kill people just by staring hard at the back of their heads. Therefore, it's a really bad idea to sit in front of a ninja at the movies and block his view.
- Ninja are incredibly flexible. Like a ferret, or an octopus, a Ninja can escape through any hole he can see through.
- Ninja can change color to blend in with their surroundings.
- Ninja harness the awesome power of the Weekend proof in battles with pirates.
- Ninja do not watch television. Ever! But, they may make television.
- Ninja are professionalized in the ancient art of 7.
- Ninja do not vote. It's not that they don't care about civic responsibility, they just don't think there is any real difference between political parties. They would rather spend their time killing politicians than voting for them. Then again, wouldn't we all?
- Ninja have the amazing ability to dislocate their jaws in order to swallow large prey.
- Many Ninja have apparently turned to running fast food franchises, due to a general downturn in the "leaping out of the shadows and killing people" sector of the economy.
- A ninja's primary way of fighting is to hide in the shadows and watch other people fight. Then, when the underdog is almost dead, the Ninja leaps out and kills him, thus gaining all the combat experience without all that messy combat. If a Ninja isn't quick enough to deliver the killing blow, he will probably still be quick enough to loot the corpse before the actual victor, and profit in this way instead.
- When the need to break the silence and startle their enemy or unpaying pizza-delivery customers arises, the ninja cry of "Woh Chau" often bursts from their lips. Though several dialects of innate Ninja speak exist, this is by far the most popular.
- If a Ninja emerges from hiding and sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.
- High-level Ninja can reproduce asexually, like amoebas. If you cut a Ninja in half, each half will grow into a new Ninja.
- A ninja can own anything in skee-ball.
- The body of a Ninja is a deadly weapon, so Homeland Security has banned ninja from all domestic and international flights. For this reason, you'll see a lot of ninja if you take Greyhound. Or rather, you won't, if you know what I mean. But they're there.
- To control their numbers, Wisconsin Fish and Game recently introduced a Ninja hunting season. The bag limit during Ninja season is two Ninja (or headbands) per person, per day. But since then, the hunter population has dropped from 82,373 to 0 without any known Ninja deaths.
- Whereas normal Japanese penii are 2 inches, the Ninja are 2 and a half inches. When exposed to water and sunlight, however, they expand an inch per day until they've grown to their full length of four feet. This is why some people believe ninja have tails.
- If you can see a ninja, he is not a ninja.
- If you can't see a ninja you're probably going to die very quickly.
- Ninja are not ninja if they do not wear their super-cool ninja suits.
- Ninja can live in your house for months without you noticing.
- Ninja can resist Michael Jackson.
- Ninja have sweet yo-yo skills.
- Ninja cannot ride bicycles. Instead, they ride diecycles.
- Ninja usually appear in the thousands.
- Over half of all Ninja are from the Detroit area.
- Ninja can kill people without emotional breakdowns.
- Ninja are able to kill people without knowing where they are.
- Ninja can kill people with all sort of things, including forks, gnomes and music. (Bjork is not a ninja, this has been proven by scientists.)
- Ninja will kill you if they see you.
- Ninja will kill your whole family if they kill you, so don't go and get yourself killed by a ninja.
- Ninja don't kill people when they eat, but they CAN take a break from eating and kill you.
- All ninja want to kill, no matter where, when and why.
- Despite what you've learned as a kid, if someone stole a cookie from the cookie jar, it was a ninja.
- The veracity of ninja nipples is capable of cutting through the finest of red meats.
- Evil ninja can only attack one or two at a time. Good Ninja do not obey this rule because they can kick so much evil ninja ass, they don't need to.
- If a Ninja fell in a forest, it wouldn't make a sound.
- Ninja can run at the speed of any thing it sees.
- Ninja are the coolest thing on the planet including The Hoff.
- If you Google "ninja", you will not get any results, but a ninja will jump out of your computer and kill you.
- If you try to make a ninja like you, it will only kill you faster.
- If you try to make a ninja dislike you, it will give you a cookie, and then kill you faster.
- There is an average of 32 ninja in every room.
- Ninja train twenty nine hours a day from the age of three.
- Ninja can also manipulate time.
- Ninja don't like getting struck by lightning. But they can dance!
- Ninja don't sweat.
- Bullets can't kill ninja.
- Ninja invented skateboarding.
- Ninja can breathe under water anytime they want.
- Ninja always land on their feet.
- Ninja can crush golf balls with any two of their fingers.
- Ninja can remove a spleen in one swift motion.
- Ninja can remove their shadow if needed.
- Ninja can hover for hours.
- Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.
- Jackie Chan is not a ninja.You think he's a ninja, therefore, he's not.
- Ninja hate Jack Sparrow. Guess why.
- God is a ninja.
- How do ninja raise their children? From the dead.
- You are not a ninja.
- Playing Ninja Gaiden doesn't make you a ninja.
- Ninja hate Carrottop.
- Ninja were the sole race to survive to ice age, and the death of the dinosaurs.
- Ninja don't cry.
- Ninja are 137% better than samurai.
- Some Ninja live on the sun.
- Ninja are the reason for global warming.
- If you have ever been assassinated in Halo, it wasn't a person that killed you, it was a ninja.
- Ninja only need half of a motion to kill you.
- Ninja invented Greek Mythology.
- There is a Ninja behind the curtains.
- Ninja don't believe in Mexico.
- Humans actually live forever, and when they die of "natural causes" it was a ninja. There is no such thing as natural causes.
- Space ninja would be awesome.
- Abraham Lincoln's beard is made of Ninja pubes.
- White people have evolved to have big eyes to look out for ninja. This, however, does not help.
- Ninja NEVER eat müslix.
- Ninja only show their eyes to avoid confusion.
- Ninja don't use the bathroom.
- Ninja invented time so they could have a bit of a challenge.
- Ninja are against filing cabinets and any sort of filing.
- All ninja play poker with the yetis every Tuesday.
- Ninja are able to throw fat kids at tigers.
- Ninja are the only race to have seen unicorns, dinosaurs, and other ninja.
- If you ever hear voices in your head, it is because a ninja has snuck in and is talking to you.
- There are more than 5 different races of villains: famous people, Jedis, pirates, samurai, and ninja.
- Ninja make you miscarry.
- Ninja can kill you by looking at you.
- Ninja made it to level 20 in your video game.
- Ninja need not to eat, they need only to kill.
- Ninja don't use instant messengers. They are really sitting next to you, talking to you directly.
- If you've ever had a heart attack, it was because a ninja said so.
- Ninja can't be shanked by the guy who killed Bruce Wayne's parents.
- If anything ever went missing, ninja did it.
- Ninja never get the blue screen of death.
- Ninja wrote half these facts.
- Ninja can split things into 3 halves.
- Ninja are only 84% eco-friendly.
- Ninja usually do not travel, they appear.
- Ninja trap all their victims with Chinese finger traps.
- Ninja really rule the world.
- Ninja are the only known people to have cured U.V.R.A.H.S better known as Uncontrollable Vigourous Rubbing Against Horses Syndrome.
- Ninja are the mortal enemy of midgets, pirates, werewolves, Tom Cruise, and people in general.
- Jesus was trained by a Ninja.
- Advanced ninja can breathe fire.
- Ninja CAN divide by zero
- Ninja CAN count to infinity. Numerous times.
- Ninja can run up 90 degree walls, ceilings, and on water.
- Ninja eat pirates for breakfast
- Ninja have pimp uniforms.
- Ninja have honor.
- Ninja invented the "Crank That" dance!
- Ninja have 0% body fat, and 100% muscle.
- Ninja can shoot lasers from their ears, noses, and toes, so watch out.
- Ninja can make you explode in an explosion of fiery yogurt and toenail clippings.
- Ninja created man so that they had something to do/kill.
- In spite of what most people think, ninja, not pirates, get all the booty. And the treasure.
- Ninja also invented every language known to man. (So that they can say badass stuff like,"YOU DIE!!!")
- If you like having your head on your neck, you might want to move 2 inches to the left. Ninja enjoy decapitating people and puppies. Just a heads-up.
- Ninja invented pain so that they could have more fun killing people.
- Ninja invented circles. You're welcome.
- Ninja can see through any other ninja's eyes whenever they want.
- If your wife suddenly becomes pregnant, it was done by a ninja.
- Ninja like their eggs sunny side up.
- Ninja don't pay taxes.
- If you can see a ninja, hes not really a ninja.
- Ninja made up the 69 position.
- All ninja have iPods.
- Mark Twain was killed by a ninja.
- That 70's Show was suppose to be about ninja.
- Ninja go as you for Halloween.
- What we're trying to say here is that ninja are better than pirates.
- In one of the recent reasons why ninja rock, it says we have iPods, but that is not true. We have either DiePods or iPuds.
- Ninja invented the Magic School Bus.(beep beep, beep beep)
- Lemons. Think about that.
- In your eye, pirates.
- Ninja are the head cashier at every Wal-Mart, so don't bring 11 items into a 10 or less items line, or die.
- The reason why the "E" in Dell is crooked is because a ninja assaulted it.
- Gaggle fraggle bope rade tole kappyv(Go ninja!)
- That last one was by an alien ninja, also known as Predator. Peace out.
- Ninja make delicious smoothies with just the push of a button!
- Ninja can, and frequently do, start a jukebox just by hitting it, Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!
- Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Ninja did.
- Ninja know the function of the human appendix.
- The plural of ninja is ninja. Every time someone gets that wrong, they infect two hundred human appendices.
- Ninja is also spelled with a "Q" two "Z"s two "X"s a "K" and an "M", which under the right circumstances can pick up 774 points in a Scrabble[TM] game.
- Ninja are fans of Jim Carey's earlier work.
- Ninja had a secretary named Kennedy, Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln, and look what happened.
- Ninja created Silons.
- She said she was a virgin, but a ninja took care of that a few seconds before you.
- Ninja spent all of MC Hammer's money.
- Ninja communicate in obscure pop-culture references and inside jokes. Nanu Nanu, Chunky McPeanutbutterkins.
- Ninja like long walks on the beach, sunsets, and severing the carotid artery of an enemy. They also hate phonies.
- Ninja have a coupon good for one free small fries with the purchase of a sandwich, and they don't care when it expired, they're damn well gonna use it.
- Ninja hate Hawaiians. They know why.
- When ninja get up at night to use the bathroom, they never stub their toes.
- A ninja by any other name would still kick ass.
- Ninja are the Alpha and the Omega, for all those that believe in them shall have eternal life. Capricans 4:45- As true today as when it was written.
- Ninja make sense to you and me, but they just won't play in Peoria.
- Ninja time is cyclical.
- Ninja aren't afraid of anything. Ninja's girlfriend insists that ninja is afraid of commitment, but ninja just isn't ready to settle down.
- Ninja predicted Nostradamus.
- If you give a ninja a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk. And kill you.
- In the event of a water landing, ninja will drop down from the overhead compartment. And kill you.
- Ninja refer to themselves in the third-person. And kill you.
- Ninja know that the call is coming from inside the house, but don't care.
- Ninja never change their cars' oil, but the cars are still running just fine.
- Ninja were known for their ability to walk through walls. To be fair, this is when they were in Japan and the walls were made out of paper. It's still pretty impressive. Paper cuts smart.
- Ninja also avoid doing their work by listing the qualities of ninja.
- Ninja always get their rent deposit back. Always.
- Ninja rewrite history to suit their shadowy, ninja agenda.
- Ninja are not cool unless their name is sarah
- Ninja can leap from building to building in 3 seconds
- Ninja do not believe that happy cows come from California
- There were fourteen Ninja on the grassy knoll
- Ninja don't need no steenking badges
- A Ninja can kill you 58 different ways with a carrot
- Ninja are said to be able to fight on-par with Chuck Norris. This was heavily disputed by several scientist. recently, the ones supporting Chuck Norris mysteriously vanished, and the ones supporting the Ninja were found roundhousekicked on the toilet.
- Ninja do not like One Piece.
- Ninja curved space time with a look
- A Ninja can in fact touch this
- Ninja have a power level well over 9000
- Ninja can impregnate women just by pointing at them and saying "Boo-ya!"
- At work Ninja accept all outlook meeting invites, even when they will not attend, in order to maintain the element of suprise. This is especially true for one to one meetings with their bosses.
- There is no telling what a ninja will do. What's worse, there is no telling what a ninja WON'T do.
- Ninjas cant kill people when they are in love, or the person they are on love with
- A hot girl ninja can seduce any ninja in love there for the ninja in love can now kill again, meaning he will kill the human he is in love with
- Some ninjas can time travel which enhances thier stalking capabilities.
- Ninjas hate fruit loops. DO NOT feed them fruit loops or they just might you spontanelously combust.
- Sex
- Sexy Cookies
- Small Kittens
- Vengeance
- Death
- Babies
Annons