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How to tell if Satan has possessed your computer.
- Your monitor spins 360 degrees
- You have 666 MB of RAM
- Even your four year-old doesn't know how to fix it
- It spits blood when you eject a floppy disk
- Your login ID has been changed to "Lucifer"
- There's a start menu in the bottom left of your screen
- You get a "General Protection Fault at GOODNESS.EXE" error message
- It prints out all your files backwards
- That exciting new program tempts you for 40 days and 40 nigts, but you still can't get it to work
- It tempts you with the Tree of Knowledge (the Internet), then damns you to an eternity of broken pipes, slow connections and IRQ conflicts
- Your home page is suddenly www.satan.com.
- Your possession experiences
- Your CD-Burner really burns your CD's
- Your soul has been auctioned on E-bay
- Your PC eats all your pictures replaces them with a collection of Dick Cheney pictures
- You need Priest to format your hard drive.
- All your midi files are Tubular Bells.
- You discover a shortcut to "The Book of Shadows" on your desktop
- You go to check your e-mail and notice that it's got 666 messages and each one has a subject heading of I am Satan, please buy Vigra!
- Your recycle bin icon changes to a burning pit and whenever you empty it you hear an evil laugh.
- Instead of hearing "You've got mail!," You hear "Hail Satan, Lord of Darkness!"
- Your computer has an adverse reaction when splashed with holy water. Matt Tonkin
- The only way to get your computer to work correctly is human sacrifice
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