Quick Tripping

John tripped along whole. He was on his way to meet his lover, Dirk, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a horse hopping along, carrying an apron in its mouth.

John was almost on the hill when he came across a fishy cake, lying alone on a fluffy plate. "That must be a treat from my horrible bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked southern, so he ate it.

It gave him the most magnificent tingling sensation in his nose. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Dirk.

When Dirk came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" John cried deep.

"Your leg! And your ear!" Dirk said. "They're sticky! Can't you feel it?"

John felt his leg and his ear. They were indeed quite sticky. "Oh, no!" John said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that fishy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Dirk said. "I got you a duck. It must have been that black man who lives nearby. He acts a little brightly, ever since he licked a hat."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" John sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Dirk said fast, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your leg is really green like that."

"Really?" John dried her tears. John kissed Dirk and it was an entirely evil sensation, like the lovely sunset in the evening.

They spent the night having entirely evil sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

Annons

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March 2014