Tuesday 17 August 2010 photo 4/7
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Dear daydream,
Thank you for making it possible to duct tape my cubical neighbor's mouth shut.
<!-- Sincerely, my sanity.
Dear Customer,
Please ignore the old adage "The customer is always right." The customer is invariably wrong and you're not to be trusted with decisions.
<!-- Sincerely, someone who knows a little more about it than you.
Dear Roommate,
If you're going to have sex five feet from me, please nail better looking women. The mental images are really disturbing me.
<!-- Sincerely, Wish I was blind and deaf.
Dear Soulmate,
Please come find me. I've run out of places to look and everyone else is boring.
<!-- Sincerely, Waiting with the patience of a Saint.
Dear plant nursery customers,
Please realize that "it's got green leaves" is not sufficient information for me to find the plant you want. I don't know which planet you come from, but on Earth, green leaves are pretty much the standard equipment for plants.
<!-- Sincerely, Disgruntled nursery employee.
Dear Pope,
Please take off your hat and show us what you have on underneath. I have five bucks on a slightly smaller hat, but my friend claims that he once saw you pull out a sandwich... Please settle this dispute once and for all: I really need five bucks.
<!-- Sincerely, Reverend Rowan Williams.
Dear cookie,
Me don't care what network says, me still gonna eat you.
<!-- Sincerely, Cookie Monster.
Dear goths,
Please stop pretending that you are non-conformist. You all dress the same.
<!-- Sincerely, The rest of society.
Dear Grade School and High School students of the world,
Please stop reading my damn diary!
<!-- Sincerely, Anne Frank.
Dear orthodontist,
You know I dont wear my retainer every day. Please stop making me lie.
<!-- Sincerely, my teeth are fine.
Dear stranger,
Please remember that if you touch my pregnant belly without asking, there is a good chance that you will lose your hand.
<!-- Sincerely, not a novelty item.
Dear Gals,
For the last time, we DON'T read minds.
<!-- Sincerely, Guys.
Dear King Arthur,
WE WANT OUR SHRUBBERY!
<!-- Sincerely, The Knights who say Ni.
Dear Hipster Friend,
Please just admit you didn't know what band I was talking about.
<!-- Sincerely, No one will think less of you.
Dear Disney's Pocahontas,
Wow, thanks for filling in my whole "plotline" issue. I definitely owe you one!
<!-- Sincerely, James Cameron.
Annons