Its 12am and I’m still the dreamer. Looking up at the vast sky as the stars twinkle brightly. I blink away my tears and see my ceiling. Only wishing to be with that night sky. I still am that hoper that will always be here for you. Supporting you through thick and thin. And telling you its possible when maybe its not. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of you. And the way your flesh would feel against mine. And I can’t help but laugh softly too myself as I think of all the pretty words you used to say. No longer do you have the dreamers twinkle in your poets eyes. And I wish to revive it with everything I am. I lay my head on my arms. And wish I was drinking something good. The music is playing and my head is spinning. And the hours slowly begin to pass. Soon it’ll be too late to try and sleep. And all I can do is wait for you. Wait for you to say words that I’m wanting to hear. My heart sighs crying out for you. As I’m weighted down with worry. I wish you would say something. Anything. Whether it be good or bad, I just want you to speak. I want you to fill my veins again. I stretch myself out and feel the sheets crinkle against my movements. I feel the cool grass that I would be laying on if it were spring. Or perhaps the passing summer. Its twelve am and perhaps your dreaming, thinking of me. Calling out my name in your sleep. Wanting me to replace all those missing pieces with mine. You’ve probably been drinking, and holding yourself. You’ve probably been missing me, I miss you too. I just wish we weren’t in this state, where the stars are our illusions and we can’t help but pretend once in a while. I want to exhale some smoke into my lungs and feel my muscles wane. Because this pain is becoming unbearable. Frustrating my senses until I feel every nerve move with blood flow. My eyes are glazed over and I almost want to cry. But no tears will come out because my heart is too sad. I trace my fingers through the air, imaginging your face being my canvas. As I touched every curve and felt the textures of your smile. I would hold you close and kiss away your pain. Giving you a reason to be a dreamer again. Its twelve am and I’m waiting on you. Waiting for you to tell me you love me. Waiting for you to say the words that you used to say. But sometimes I feel I dream too much, and thats why I lay awake. Worrying, crying. Pulling out small strands of hair. Looking up at a night sky that doesn’t exist. Hoping beyond hope that you’ll speak too me. Telling me things I haven’t heard in so long. Its 12am and I’m missing you. Wondering if your dreaming of me. Wondering if you miss me too Or if I have no reason to dream. Or exist as this dreamer.

Annons

Bilden saknar taggar

oktober 2008