November
Tuesday 8 January 2008 photo 7/12
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här är del 6 i ''how they both felt'' when Sasuke was about to speak again, Naruto did just that. He turned his head, and smiled. But the smile looked so strained, and apparently Naruto knew that his attempt wasn’t working, because his smile disappeared, and he began to speak. “I’m fine, really.. I’ll just go home now… I am sorry that I bothered you… “ Naruto tried to rise up, swaying in the progress, and trying not to flinch at the pain. He was stopped by Sasuke pulling at his wrist. “Usuratonkachi… Drop the mask… Talk to me, what is wrong?!” He pulled Naruto onto his lap, and tried not to blush. Naruto however, did, but relaxed and leaned his head at Sasuke’s shoulder and sighed, trying not to cry.. when he had gathered himself, he spoke.. “I’m really weak, ya know? I just don’t want people to see. To worry about me.. I don’t want the people I see as my friends worry just because of me… So I smile.. I smile stupidly everyday, and come with stupid comments and arguments. Just so people might even laugh, and think that I must be okay if I am able to act that way.. I am surprised no one has seen through me yet… But that might as well be because they don’t look close enough. I can’t blame them, though…. “ Naruto didn’t know why he was speaking, and of all, to Sasuke about this… But his mouth just moved on its own accord, revealing things that he had kept to himself his whole life, his thoughts, which he was afraid of telling anyone of… “This mask you say I am wearing.. is falling apart.. I am breaking inside, Sasuke, but I wish I would just break completely, my whole existence being erased from this earth and from everyone’s minds.. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this… I’m so tired…” Naruto closed his eyes, and Sasuke felt something wet hit his arm, that was lying around Naruto’s waist.. *crying again…* Sasuke thought sadly. He hated the feeling he was having right now. Here he was, right beside Naruto, and yet, he felt so helpless.. he was mad, but he didn’t know who to direct his anger at, and he felt sorry for Naruto.. That this problem was so big for the boy that he was crying just by talking about it, and yet, he managed to bottle up all that sadness inside him and hide behind a smile. To be honest, this boy was braver than Sasuke was. Naruto began to speak quietly. “Everything is so confusing. I don’t know whether to be sad or angry, but at the same time I just feel like I have no right. I understand that people hate me. Who would they hate if not me? Being mad but having none to aim your anger at makes you frustrated, ya know. So if it helps them to be happier when I'm not there, by being mad at me, then let them. In that way, I am at least to some help… “ Sasuke didn’t believe his ears.. Was this really Naruto that was sitting here, talking like this? He was about to say something when he heard Naruto sob quietly. “S-Sasuke I just don’t know what to do! *sob* I… I feel so helpless, everything I know is falling apart, and I cant keep smiling anymore! I don’t want to ! I’m so tired of hiding, tired of it all, I wish it would just end! All of it! I feel so alone, even when surrounded by people, even when I’m with you, Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei! I.. I.“ Naruto started to sob uncontrollably, so he couldn’t continue. Sasuke had heard enough, though. He wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller boys’ shoulders, and held him, whispering comforting words in his ear, while a thousand thoughts ran through his head. Naruto wrapped his own arms around Sasuke’s waist, and buried his face in the front of Sasuke’s shirt, still crying, although the sobs were now quieter, but Sasuke could feel his shirt getting soaked. Not that he cared, though.. What was occupying his brain right now was thoughts like “How can he be this sad and even though, he has been able to hide it for this long?”, “no one should be able to be as sad as this, especially not him. He hasn’t done anything wrong, or meant to harm anyone innocent! He doesn’t deserve this” And “ Why does he tell me all this?! Does he really trust me this much?” He was once again abruptly pulled from his own world, when someone was hammering at the door, and it sounded like it was about to break. Sasuke gritted his teeth, and tried to ignore it, but Naruto spoke. “Just open it. Sounds urgent, right?” he made a weak attempt at a smile again, and Sasuke stroked his hair and rose up. “I’ll be right back.” He walked to the door, and tried to keep the blush from his face, but he must’ve been a little flustered when he opened the door, because he pulled a little too hard, thus startling the person standing there. Not that he cared anyway, but upon seeing who it was, he wished he had never opened the door. “S-sasuke-kun… I-I uhhmm…” Sakura… Of course it was her. Who else would be stupid enough to run through this storm all the way to another person’s house at this time of night? His thoughts wandered off to a certain blonde, right now sitting on the floor in his living room, probably trying to hear the conversation. Sakura finally gathered herself and began to speak again. “S-Sasuke-kun, I heard in the news that a the storm is going to continue, and its gonna be snowing a lot!" Sasuke leaned against the doorframe, not bothering to change his expression to surprised. “And so?” “I just thought, that with your house being so long from the village and stores, it would be bad if you couldn’t get far because of the snow, and” Sasuke interrupted her here. “Sakura, listen, just go home. I have someone here, whom I cant just leave, neither do I want to bring” Now Sakura interrupted Sasuke. “who?! Sasuke-kun is someone really staying here!?? Who?? Is it Ino?! I’ll kill that bitch if she even touches you!” after yelling this, Sakura stormed into the house. Sasuke went after her, to make sure she didn’t do something bad. Man, was he pissed off. If she even DARED to touch Naruto, he would be sure to make her regret that! When they entered the living room, Naruto had fallen asleep on the futon again. *sigh. Still weak from the blood loss?...* Sasuke turned to Sakura when she began to speak. “why is HE here?! Sasuke-kun the storm is starting soon, so this morning you might not even be able to leave the house!” “Why Naruto is here, is none of your concern. I have plenty of food and so on, thank you.” “But do you have enough for the both of you?! I mean, Naruto eats so much!” She was starting to get angry. She had come here to try to convince Sasuke to come to her home and stay a couple of days, but she hadn’t expected something like this. Why was it always Naruto that had Sasuke-kuns attention?! Sasuke was starting to get very annoyed as well. Why didn’t she just give up already and go home?! And she says that Naruto eats too much?! For gods sake didn’t this girl’s stupidity have any limits at all?!! The boy was lying half naked in front of her, and still she couldn’t see how thin he was?! That reminded him, he didn’t want her to see Naruto half naked… So he went over to cover Naruto in the futon. He didn’t notice the blush across naruto’s face, or that his breath was quicker than normal, when you sleep. Sakura stared at Naruto angry, but then turned to Sasuke again. “Sasuke-kun!! What if there’s not enough food?! I don’t want you to starve just because of –him!!- you shouldn’t be wasting your resources on that low-life if it could damage yourself! Look at him, he’s sleeping already you can just go home with me and leave him here! Its his own fault for passing out or whatever that happened to him!” here, Sasuke got really mad. “HIS fault?! You don’t even KNOW what he has been, and is going through!!! It is in NO. FUCKING. WAY his fault!! He has done nothing to harm ANYONE but still, people treat him like SHIT!! Like hell I’m leaving him alone in your favour! The low-life here is you!" He glared at her. Sakura looked terrified, but then she started to look angry again. *why is Sasuke-kun standing up for Naruto all of a sudden?! Che, Naruto is the only one in the way of Sasuke-kun and me living happily ever after!! Why must he ruin this?!!* with tears in her eyes, she picked up something random from the floor, which happened to be a scroll, and tossed it in the direction of Naruto. “I HATE YOU!!!” she screamed, with tears in her eyes. Neither of them noticed Naruto flinching. She bent down to pick something else up, but was stopped at a sharp pain in her wrist. She looked up. Sasuke was standing beside her, in one of his hands, holding the scroll she tossed, which he caught it in the air, and in the other he was almost crunching her wrist. “That’s. ENOUGH!” He gave her the most disgusted, hateful look he could muster, and dragged her to the door. “Go home to your mother and cry, you whiny little bitch!! This has nothing to do with Naruto, and don’t you dare ever speak like that about him! You hear me?!!” with that said, he tossed her out of the door and slammed it shut. How could she be like that??!! Blaming Naruto for all this shit! But, normally he wouldn’t have acted this way, got mad like this.. Was he overreacting? When he entered the living room, Naruto was lying on his side, his back facing Sasuke. *oh shit… he heard* Sasuke looked sad. He hoped Naruto didn’t hear too much, atleast not all of it. But how could he not have? that bitch just HAD to yell. “dobe… I know you are awake..”
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