Sunday 17 August 2008 photo 1/1
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Min lilla hyllning.....
Extremt lång och på engelska... men läs den please
Pathetic, I think as I lay in my bed thinking of Rodney, what would Rodney think?
I don't even want to know.
Mess Hall:
-Hey Rodney! I called as I sat down next to him.
-Hey Major.
I just wish he would call me John, I thought. -Its Colonel, I say even though it really doesn't matter.
-Yeah whatever, I wanted to talk to you. Im going on a date!
Oh no I thought, nononono please don't Rodney. -Who? I ask cuz I know he want me to.
-Well, Carson actually. He looks at me as if I was going to hit him. Like I could ever do that.
Finally I register what he just said. He was going to ask a guy out? He's gay? Or bisexuall?
No! I want to shout but no sound comes over my lips. My chest tighten and my vision grays.
-Major are you allright? I hear Rodney say.
On legs weak as noodels I rise and run out of the mess. Nononono he's not supposed to date a guy. He's supposed to be straight! I run,run,run away from here.
The South-West Tower:
The hard wind whippes my body. Looking down the tower, a fall like that could kill you, I know that. And I want nothing more than to jump but the soldier in me whants to stay and protect the people of Atlantis. To protect Rodney, but the rest can't stand the thought of Rodney with a guy. A guy thats not John.
My radio smatter and Rodneys voice echoes in his body.
-Major? What happened? It was something I said wasn't it? If you don't like that I'm bisexuall then I wont talk about it, ever! Or are you sick perhaps? Come on talk to me. Where are you anyway?
Then I lose it, I start crying. I never cry! But hot, salty tears travel slowly down my cheak. Rodneys voice still echoes in my head.
Somehow I manage to pull myself together and reply:
-Rodney I really need to think right know. Can you please tell everyone to leave me alone for a while? I trust you.
-But we hav... is all Rodney manage to say before I turn of my radio.
The rain starts to fall and makes my clothes stick to my body as I lay on the floor for hours.
When I wake up it's still raining. I've been sleeping for at least a few hours. I can't stop thinking of Rodney, and a picture of Rodney and Carson kissing and doing all the things I dreamt of doing to Rodney.
I turn my radio back on.
-Rodney?
-Major?
Oh God I can't do this.
-Why do you always call me that? My name is John.
-You want to discuss this now? Where are you?
-The South-West tower, I ne.....
-Don't move! he shouts, I'll be right there.
2 Minutes Later:
Rodney came up the minute it stopped raining and the sun started to shine.
-Major you....Suddenly he stopped and just looked at me, I must have looked terrible cuz he sat down beside me and asked in a soft tone:
-What's wrong?
-Carson? I ask and to my horror more tears want to fall. Furiously I try to blink them away. But a single tear makes it way down my cheak.
-Why Carson? And why didn't you tell me you were bisexuall?
-Why do you want to know? Wait a minute..... You're jelous? Of Carson or of me?
My throat is all sore so insted of replying i run my hand up his arm. Sadly I look in to the blue eyes one last time before I rise and walk closer to the edge.
-But what...you cou.... Rodney says.
I turn and take his face in my hands, and the planet stops moving as I press my lips to his. A short kiss before I let go. I flash him a quick smile as I walk backwards towards the edge.
-Bye Rodney, take care of everyone and remember.... I love you
Kärlek... i vilken form den än kommer, så är den det finaste som finns..............................
Extremt lång och på engelska... men läs den please
Pathetic, I think as I lay in my bed thinking of Rodney, what would Rodney think?
I don't even want to know.
Somehow I manage to pull myself together and reply:
-Rodney I really need to think right know. Can you please tell everyone to leave me alone for a while? I trust you.
-But we hav... is all Rodney manage to say before I turn of my radio.
The rain starts to fall and makes my clothes stick to my body as I lay on the floor for hours.
When I wake up it's still raining. I've been sleeping for at least a few hours. I can't stop thinking of Rodney, and a picture of Rodney and Carson kissing and doing all the things I dreamt of doing to Rodney.
I turn my radio back on.
-Rodney?
-Major?
Oh God I can't do this.
-Why do you always call me that? My name is John.
-You want to discuss this now? Where are you?
-The South-West tower, I ne.....
-Don't move! he shouts, I'll be right there.
-Major you....Suddenly he stopped and just looked at me, I must have looked terrible cuz he sat down beside me and asked in a soft tone:
-What's wrong?
-Carson? I ask and to my horror more tears want to fall. Furiously I try to blink them away. But a single tear makes it way down my cheak.
-Why Carson? And why didn't you tell me you were bisexuall?
-Why do you want to know? Wait a minute..... You're jelous? Of Carson or of me?
My throat is all sore so insted of replying i run my hand up his arm. Sadly I look in to the blue eyes one last time before I rise and walk closer to the edge.
-But what...you cou.... Rodney says.
I turn and take his face in my hands, and the planet stops moving as I press my lips to his. A short kiss before I let go. I flash him a quick smile as I walk backwards towards the edge.
Kärlek... i vilken form den än kommer, så är den det finaste som finns..............................