It hurts. So many things and I just don't know where to begin. I think I've figured out parts of why I don't feel like an adult at least. Got a real eye opener about that one. But nothing I can do about that now anyway, it's too late. And then him...I promised myself a long time ago to not let him get to me. And now I feel bad for not being able to do so, as well as for being stupid enough to even imagine doing so to myself. I've also figured out that I'm an ass. Or well, maybe not. But it feels like it. Should I really be glad that they broke up? Probably not. But if he couldn't see what a wonderful girl she is then he doesn't deserve her. She's truly wonderful. But I don't dare to tell her that. Not as seriously that I want to at least. It hit me earlier that there is so much more behind my feelings to wanting to see her happy than I thought. I wonder how long that's been there? I think it has been there for a while now. Though I doubt I'll ever gather the courage to tell her... so right now I have no idea what to do. About anything...and it hurts. All of it hurts.

Sorry for the rant and I have no idea if it makes sense or not, but I had to get it out somewhere. And none of the ones above know me here so I'm safe here.

Annons

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June 2015