May
Sunday 23 May 2010 photo 1/6
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On The Edge
Chapter 1
I ran. Ran faster than I ever run before. And so much longer. I couldn´t track time, but I knew I must have run for a long time.
The fear, the pain, the disgust made me strong.
Why did he do it? You weren’t allowed to do such a thing. It was a crime… Against the law.
I couldn´t run anymore. Too much pain.
I fell to the ground. Started to shake. Cry. I just wanted to forget. To live on. But it felt impossible. Like… Like if this was the end.
The tears streamed down. It started raining, I laugh ironic. Rain. Now. That´s just perfect.
I got up again, started to walk again. Determined. Still crying, couldn´t help it. No-one saw it doh, since no-one seemed to be outside, and it was very dark.
I knew where to go now. Knew what to do. I didn´t feel brave, didn´t feel like this was the right thing to do. But it was the only thing, cause I would never be able to forget his hands on my body. Forget the feeling of him inside me.
Heard steps behind me, started to run again. The steps owner started to run to.
‘Please God, make sure it´s not him.’ Were the thoughts running through my head.
I looked over my shoulder, saw a long, dark shadow.
‘Fucking son of a bitch God!’ I cursed, since I was sure it was him. Dad. The man who was supposed to always be there for me, but instead raped me. I screamed out low. Nothing ever went the way it was supposed with me.
I ran faster, cause I didn´t ever want to see him again. A few seconds later I to my surprise heard the steps become slower, and then quit. I smiled to myself. The son of a bitch had a bad condition.
After a while I stopped running to, I was way too tired to run more.
I looked around, tried to see where I was. Saw the school. The school I went to for 3 years ago. When I quit school, I didn´t go to high school, I started to work at a nearby clothing store. It was quite boring, but I didn´t have too much money, and needier did… And needier did that, we had spend all our savings at mum´s drugs, but she decided to die anyway. That bitch.
Could I really say that about mum? She had been sick, and depressed, and… I was doing the same thing as her now…
Anyway, if I were at the school, then the train rails wouldn´t be far away, I could go there. My feet’s started to move again. Not running, but faster than I moved before. I saw light, and then a train passing by.
*Fuck!* I screamed, it would take a while before the next train came by. I started to walk slower, the where no hurry now.
When I got there, I jumped down the rails. The coarse sand where wet, and slippery, but I didn´t fall. I thought about lie down on the rails, but then remember about folks that had survive that. Instead I sat down in the middle of the rails, and waited.
I don´t know how long I sat there, but suddenly I saw him, on the platform above me. He looked down and be, and smiled. It wasn´t my father, no, it was some weird guy/woman whit lion hair.
*Hi!* He/she said, and I stared at him. Who the fuck was this guy/woman?!
*Having fun down there?* Was he/she joking?! Please say he/she didn´t just say THAT!
*Yeah, you know, I love sitting on the rails, it´s the funniest thing ever!* The sarcasm was easy to detect.
*Ok, but… I´m just wondering… If it´s not fun, why are you there?* I started to laugh. This guy/woman was a fucking idiot!
*Guess!* I shouted, and the guy/girl looked as if he/she actually thought about it!
*You got a bad grade?* I started to laugh again.
*Not that I guess… Let´s see, your boyfriend broke up with you?* Once again I laugh, and shook my head.
*Alright! I give up, now please tell me!* He/she said, and once again I shook my head. No chance in hell that I told this idiot.
*No, I won´t, and, just cause it´s really bothering me, are you a man or a woman?* I said, and the man/woman looked a bit hurt, I immediately regret my question.
*I tell you if you come up here!* The man/woman suddenly answered, and I stared at him/her. What the fuck?! Why did he/she care about if came up or not?!
*Hell no!" I answered, and then we both flinch when the speakers signal that a train where on its way.
‘Yes, finally!’ I thought and smiled, doh some people might have thought it was a bit sad (and scary), but I was really tired talking to this idiot. Suddenly I heard a bump next to me, and saw the man next to me. (He was a man, cause he had no breast)
*What the fuck are you doing?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!* I shouted, and stared at him.
*I´m not going up if you don´t come with me!* I answered, and he looked really calm.
*Fuck you!* I shouted, but went of the trails, I didn´t want some guy to die because of me. He climbed up, but I couldn’t, and suddenly I started to get scared. Suddenly the thought about dying felt so much worse, so unnecessary.
*Help me!* I screamed, and I guess my eyes showed of the fear I felt. He took my hand, and pulled me up, and pushed me away from the train, that flashed by.
We just stood there for a while, breathing fast. We just nearly died, and you get a bit upset from that.
*I´m Bill, by the way.* He said, and I nodded.
On The Edge
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Önskar att det fanns fortsättning på den<3333
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