Can´t live without you

Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe she didn´t lie.
Maybe she didn´t cheat on me.
These thoughts go thru my head, as I watch her car drive away from the window.
But I know I´m not wrong, and I know she lied.
I know she cheated on me, Bill told me so.
Bill told me, that he slept with her.
How could he?!
He´s my twin!
How could he...
I step away from the window, with the light blue and white and dotted curtains she chose.
She also chose the blue and light blue striped wallpapers.
She loves blue, that´s her favourite colour.
My favourite... I love all colours, but lately blue always comes to my mind first.
The white sofa looks so comfortable, from where I stand, so I go towards it, and then fall on it.
It´s not really as comfortable as it looks, I already knew that, but it´s still comfy, and it smells sooo good.
Like cinnamon.
I have always loved cinnamon.
Not chocolate, I can eat it, if i have to, but I like sour candy so much more.
But cinnamon, I love.
I don´t think it exist any cinnamon-candy.
At least I haven´t tasted any.
I decided to rest my eyes for a second or two, because the more I lie on the sofa, the more comfortable it gets.

The next day

An annoying ring tone wake me up, it´s one of those standard ringtones on the phone that everyone hates, and immediately change.
Of course I change it too, but because of some glitch in my phone it keep changing back, and I´m tired of changing it back to another, better ringtone.
My back is stiff, and it takes a while for me to get up, and by the time I am up, the phone stopped ringing.
I walk over to the table were the phone is, a brown table with overly carved legs.
I don´t need to check the screen to know who called, but I do it any way, just to be sure.
‘Rock-star brother calling!’ It says, and the message almost makes me laugh, it was Bill who chose the name for him.
I almost called him back, but then remember that I´m pissed at him for sleeping with Tanya.
So I turn of the phone, cause I knew he would try to call me again.
I walk down the hall, to the kitchen, drink some water, and after that I go back to the sofa.

The End

There is a knock on the door.
I know who it is, and decide not to open.
I try to go to sleep again, but the knocking continues.
Why can´t Bill just give up?
Eventually, the knocking stopes, and instead I hear someone glide down the wall, and a thump when that someone hits the floor.
Another half an hour or something passes, and the Bill is still outside the door.
And I give up, I can´t have him sitting that forever, some crazy fan can show up and kidnap him!
So I open the door, and Bill flies up, and then hesitates.
I go back into the living room, and after a while, Bill follows.
The silence, is killing me.
Bill usually wont´t stop talking, and now he´s so quiet.
He stand there, just behind me, quiet like a mouse, and I can´t take it anymore.
I turn around, and suddenly the words flows out from he´s mouth, so, so fast, as if he´s afraid he won´t be able to tell me everything he has to tell me.
"-I´m so sorry Tom! I don´t know why I did it... I had to have been drunk or something! My gosh... I´m so stupid! Please, please forgive me..." Bill take a pause for a second, and then say:
"No, wait, don´t forgive me! I don´t deserve to be forgiven... What I did was so terrible..." And then the tears come.
Big, tears, that soon get black because of the make-up.
I thought that shit was waterproof?
I close the distance between us, and hugs him.
Bill tries to step away from me, but for the moment I´m stronger than him.
Usually it´s the other way, not that I would admit it, Bill my look a bit girlish, but he´s pretty damn strong.
"-It´s okay Bill, it´s not your fault. Tanya´s a bitch, she lurked you." That was a lie, a small lie, but whatever.
It was not okay, Bill were supposed to be on my side, not stab me in the back...
But how could I say that to him, when I know it would break him.
Bill rest his head against my shoulder, and nods.
Bills betrayal might have hurt me, but I´m still the bigger brother, I´m supposed to take care of him.
And, as if that wasn´t a big enough reason, I just can´t live without him,
We have been together since we were in the womb, and Tanya and I were together for just under two years.
She doesn´t stand a chance.
"-I can´t live without you, Bill."

Jag tycker den är jävligt söt, och jag vet, det är några grammatiska fel, jag kollade på en sida... Och, och inte den sidan hade varit så elak att bara berätta hur många fel av det slaget och det slaget jag har, utan också visat var felen är, hade jag kunnat rätta felen, men nu kan jag inte det... Hehe

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June 2011