Halloween var awesome. Först till Lakes och trick or treata. Sen till Josefine och kolla film. Sen till Zach på palmen (!!!!) och sitta på hans strand och skratta åt allt och ingenting och prata fem olika språk. Sen hem till Simone vid tre och sova. Underbart <3

Fler prov. Uppsatser.

Sitter just nu och skjuter upp skiten och diskuterar hjältemod med min käre Johan.
(som jag älskar btw.)

Ikväll ska man till skolan på en föreläsning med den deprimerande titeln "How to survive the IB Diploma."

Släpp ut mig?

67. You were never patriotic about Sweden when you lived there, but once you moved out, consider Sweden to be some sort of paradise where everything is perfect - unlike your new country of residence.

This group aims to point out the typical cliches about the Swedish, through the eyes of the Swedish, without taking things too seriously.



This list has been written from scratch by the members of this group. If you want to contribute, you MUST FOLLOW THE RULES, which can be found under "News". If you don't, then you will not stand a chance.



Also, under news, there are also some other questions answered, as for example how to become an officer. Anyway, back to the list!

Enjoy!



YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM SWEDEN WHEN...



(Traditions)



1. You thought Christmas was cancelled when Arne Weise retired.

2. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.

3. You know what a “Julbock” is and don't find it strange that a goat brings you presents at Christmas.

4. You think that a Christmas without snow is a disaster.

5. You don't find it at all strange or unimaginative that the day after Christmas day is called "another day Christmas, and the day after Easter is called "Another day Easter"

6. You claim that Santa Claus is a Swedish phenomenon. (he’s not, folks…)

7. Your Christmas tree isn't quite right until you have at least one “Julbock” underneath it.

8. If you have young daughters, around October you start bothering them to join the local St Lucia parade.

9. You know you are from Sweden when you associate 3 pm on Christmas Eve with Donald Duck, and vice versa.

10. It is considered a sin to record Donald Duck on the video at Christmas.

11. You compare all other spiced wine to “glögg” and with a frown state the obvious superiority of the Swedish Christmas drink.

12. You dress up like a “stjärngosse” and don’t get why Non-Swedes think you are from the KKK and a black guy gets mad.

13. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first twenty four days of December in order to watch fifteen minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.

14. You couldn’t care less about the sixth of June and consider celebrating Midsummer as being as close to a proper national day as it will ever get.

15. During one day in June, you sing and dance around a giantic up-side down penis dressed in flowers and then proudly call it a Swedish tradition.

16. You've been forced to perform the "frog dance" skipping around a palm tree.

17. You find yourself trying to explain what Midsummer is actually all about, even though you don't quite remember it yourself.

18. You spend every Midsummer night in silence, looking for seven different types of flowers beneath seven different wooden fences, pissed drunk from too many “snaps”, desperately trying to get a clue as to why your love life is so fucked up.

19. You really want to attend the Nobel Prize Dinner.

20. You get pissed off when Norwegians claim that the Peace Prize is much more famous than the other Nobel Prizes.

21. You claim that you are not a royalist but actually do care what "she" will wear on the Nobel Prize dinner.

22. When you associate Thursday with pea soup and pancakes.

23. You think it's normal to get on the back of a truck or convertible car and drunkenly shout and sing for hours at passers-by just because you graduated from school.

24. You are attending a New Year's Party that suddenly takes a break when it is time to watch “Dinner for One” (Grevinnan och Betjänten).

25. You believe there are no "real" traditions in Sweden. (Oh, how wrong you are…)

26. You celebrate Easter and Christmas one day before most other countries do and have at more than one occasion utterly failed in explaining to Non-Swedes why this is the case.

27. You consider summer and Christmas needing to be greeted by singing.

28. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th and December 13th.

29. You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on silly paper hats, drink Vodka, sing and eat crayfish.

30. Easter means decorating some twigs in a vase with coloured feathers, eating herring and painted eggs.

31. You find it perfectly normal to dress up like a witch at Easter and knock on random neighbours doors in hope of getting some sweets.

32. You find the Easter bunny completely illogical.

33. You know that real Easter eggs are not made of chocolate; they're made of paper and filled with pick'n'mix (lösgodis).

34. You try to explain who “Näcken” is to Non-Swedes and they look at you funny.

35. You eat minimum ten buns with almond paste and whipped cream on “Fettisdagen” and claim that it just doesn't taste right if the lid isn't triangular.

36. As a student, you accept and even enjoy getting dressed in formal wear to go to a candle-lit three course dinner where you will alternately bang on your table and stand on your chair singing songs in praise of alcohol each and every time you attempt to raise your fork to your mouth.

37. Already at Easter you start planning what to do on Midsummer.



(Behaviour)



1. You either take it for granted that cars will stop for pedestrians OR you have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.

2. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state "it's much better in Sweden" when you are abroad.

3. You split the bill by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.

4. You don't mind women using the men's bathroom in clubs if the queue to the "Ladies" is long.

5. You don't mind walking instead of taking the car.

6. You put toilet paper on the seat in a public toilet and double fold it neatly.

7. At cafés, you find it completely normal walking all the way to the counter to order and then carrying it yourself to the table rather than being waited on.

8. You count how many cigarettes you borrow or give away - just to be sure it's fair.

9. You always carry a pocket full of coins to pay for public toilets or the toilets at McDonalds

10. You don't mind sharing the toilet cubicle with all of your friends to save 5 SEK.

11. You would happily catch the tube to the suburbs at 3am or walk alone through a park at night, but you'd NEVER ride in a car without your seatbelt o

12. You find it difficult to breathe if your internet shuts down, even just for a little while.

13. Doing a PowerPoint presentation in a university abroad, you make sure that the Swedish flag is in at least one picture (even though you would never do that at a Swedish university)

14. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.

15. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.

16. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.

17. You get extremely annoyed with inefficiency.

18. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that "why don't you do it like we do it in Sweden?"

19. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don't get why non-Swedes find that funny.

20. Generally, you prefer writing in pencil, so you get thoroughly confused and insecure when told to write in pen during exams in schools abroad.

21. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neoghbours in the stairwell.

22. You try to explain "The Law of Jante" to non-Swedes..!

23. You are or have been addicted to Playahead/Lunarstorm/Helgon and/or Bilddagboken and judge people depending on which of these communities they belong to.

24. You complain about people not talking in the bus or in lifts, even though they never do it in Havanna nor Madrid nor anywhere else in the world either.

25. You take it as a personal insult when someone looks at you on the bus

26. You think people are too intrusive when they stand closer than 1½ meter away from you, even if you are at a crowed busses or trains.

27. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the underground, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.

28. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person who's handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.

29. You see a woman with a baby carriage trying to get on the bus you're in, so you pretend to be sleeping so you don't have to help her with it.

30. You would never use public transportation without a valid ticket, even though it's ridiculously overpriced.

31. Everybody applauds when your flight lands. What we would do if it crashed? Boo, perhaps?

32. You're used to sorting all your laundry into 30, 40 and 60 degree Celsius piles and become quite upset when you can only choose between 'warm' and 'cold'

33. You call yourself a Christian despite the fact that the only time you ever went to church was the last day of school in the summer.

34. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather.

35. You hate to 'lose face' in public, and will act like everyone else to prevent this from happening.

36. You talk about politics at house parties.

37. You find it perfectly normal to let 19 year olds drive tanks all by themselves.

38. You actually do care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard.

39. You have a billion pictures of yourself, and 90% of those you took yourself.

40. Everytime you see a swedish Brand/actor/company/phone/car/furniture store you feel compelled to point that out to your Non-Swedish friends (with barely hidden pride in your voice).

41. You get annoyed by people standing to the left in the escalator.

42. You get on the train before letting people off because the train might leave without you!

43. You get up from your seat one stop early; the train might leave before you're off!

44. You plan every second of your day, including the visits to the bathroom.

45. You insist on convincing people that the Vikings were the first to discover America.

46. You buy an ( S ) sticker for your Volvo even if you are living outside the borders of Sweden

47. You find it perfectly normal to book a washing machine room several weeks in advance - and no matter what happens on the day (marriage proposal, spontaneous partying, celebrity sighting etc…) you will do your washing on time, damnit!

48. Living with your partner and having kids together without even planning on getting married is perfectly normal.

49. You go to a gig and people, even if they are standing at the back, are wearing earplugs.

50. Your natural response to a conflict is writing an angry letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Again.

51. Living abroad, you wanted to put up a Swedish flag outside your flat but were told not to by your neighbors and friends, and even when you wanted to put up a little blue and yellow banner they still told you not to, and you never got why it was a really bad idea.

52. You get really stressed and confused at the post office abroad when they don't use “the thing that you take the numbered ticket from that tells you when it’s your turn”.

53. When in other countries you sigh about all the official paperwork that needs to be done, since it's so much easier in Sweden.

54. You spend most of your summers in the park playing a game with wooden sticks, and when telling confused Non-Swedes about it you insist that it's the best game ever.

55. You carefully rinse your plates etc. after washing-up, since it appals you that your Non-Swedish flatmates leave them to dry, still covered in dirty washing-up water.

56. You know which hotdog is yours on the barbeque, even though everybody has brought the same type, and you also feel genuinely disturbed if someone at the party forgot to bring food and wants some of yours.

57. You refer to your age by stating the year you were born.

58. You refer to people from the capital by stating the first two digits in their phone number. (08:or)

59. You are never too old to get happy and excited when you hear the sounds of the ice cream van.

60. You always talk "Lumparminnen" when you meet other Swedish men around the world, and always quotes your officers.

61. You answer the phone by saying your first name.

62. Your non Swedish friends take the piss out of you speaking Swedish on the phone because every second word you say is "bra".

63. You end your phonecalls with 'pusspuss' and then don't understand at all why the english-speaking people around you looks at you like you're a retard or a pervert.

64. You consider your pet a proper member of the family, and speak to them not with a baby voice (which most nationalities do) but as one would to your average person.

65. Regardless of where in the world you find yourself, you always adress animals in Swedish.

66. You collect plastic bags, and can't believe you get them for free abroad.

67. You rattle the toilet door handle like hell, even though it’s clearly locked.

68. You are always apologizing, even if you don´t know why.

69. You loudly proclaim that the tap water in your home is better than mineral water sold in supermarkets (anywhere in the world).

70. You only make love to Buddy Holly

71. You drive a cab in -20 degrees Celcius just to show you have one.

72. You start a subscription of a magazine just to get hold of the free gift. Then, you quit your subscription.

73. You somehow never fall sick on Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays, since you know no doctor would be available anyway.

74. You insist on sitting outside to have lunch/coffee/beer wrapped in a blanket (or two!) although it's only ten-something degrees outside and barely sunny, since it’s finally time for "uteservering".

75. You don't mind letting people know what you're planning on doing when you go to the bathroom.

76. You can peel an orange in your pocket.

77. You find net curtains (they're big on them in the UK & Netherlands) highly offensive as they ruin any opportunity for you to stare in to other people's house when you walk past.

78. You catch a bit of blue and yellow out of the corner of your eye and look to see if it's the Swedish flag or something with the Swedish flag, preferably a football shirt you can wear during the next World Cup.

79. You find it annoying that you have to tip in a restaurant outside of Sweden.

80. You think it's normal to get your post delivered through a hole in the door

81. You go on a date in Sweden and the guy only pays for his own coffee.

82. You don't drink or eat anything that is one day past its “best before date."

83. You stay home from work just to see the plumber work at your house.

84. You find the plumber sexy

85. You wait at least one hour after you’ve eaten before you go swimming. You being swedish you’re bound to drown otherwise...

86. You believe it is very uncommon for people under twenty five to actually be married

87. You expect government institutions to be efficient and quick in dealing with your problems.

88. You threatened your parents to call “BRIS” at least once when they didn't let you stay out as long as you wanted.

89. You think it's perfectly normal to go out and party every weekend from the age of 13.

90. You openly discuss taboo subjects like sex and politics at the dinner table or parties or with strangers.

91. You call your parents, and even your grandparents, by their first names.

92. After eating at a café/restaurant, you think it's completely normal to tidy your table, collect all your stuff onto a tray and carry it over a trolley so that the staff doesn't have to do it.

93. You feel awkward using a lift with people you don't know, so you desperately try to find a spot somewhere to focus your eyes until you reach your floor. Then you feel a sense of relief and joy.

94. You are ashamed to sing in English because of your Swedish accent (although all Non-Swedes find it very cute).

95. You're painfully proud to inform a Non-Swede that there actually was an entire week with over 30 degrees Celsius this summer.

96. On the night of the 25th every month, you “go wild” with expensive drinks and excessive amounts of beer. When you wake up the day after, your money for the next month is more or less gone.

97. You read or write a note about how hard it is to do your laundry if the person before you didn't remove the dust from the tumble drier.



(Common sense/attitude)



1. You don't rely on weather forecasts unless presented by John Pohlman.

2. You know it’s a sin lifting the top layer in the Aladdin chocolate box before it's empty.

3. You find people from other cultures generally being rather loud. With the exception of the Finish.

4. You wouldn't even consider buying electrical items unless they are "S"-marked.

5. You get guilty conscience from throwing things in the dustbin that could have been recycled.

6. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.

7. You use the metric system and really don't get why there are people out there who don't.

8. You consider Denmark and the Danish "pretty continental".

9. You are obsessed with health issues.

10. You find the idea of carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.

11. You thought carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/Denmark. Then you went abroad and realized that you were wrong.

12. You consider yourself as Scandinavian, not European.

13. A good nights sleep only counts if it consists of 8 consecutive hours. 10 hours would be considered too much.

14. You don't really consider silence a problem in social situations.

15. The question "how are you?" is a question that needs to be answered with a honest and thorough explanation of your mental health. Therefore, you don’t understand why Non-Swedes give you one word answers.

16. You think people that don't send their kids to nursery school ("dagis") are strange.

17. You feel bad if you're not outside on a sunny day.

18. You know that individuality vs. conformity is the eternal Swedish conflict.

19. You unfortunately find it embarrassing and a bit uncool to be “too” Swedish.

20. You find it normal that the most serious debates between the political leaders of the country broadcasted on TV are held in charming and homey milieus, including flowered curtains, blond wood, colorful pillows, pastries and coffee.

21. You consider Volvo and Saab the ultimate family cars.

22. You ONLY eat sweets on Saturdays.

23. You think it’s a BIG THING to have a drivers license before you're approaching your thirties.

24. You can actually see the logic of “klämdagar”.

25. You think thats its ridiculous to build houses from bricks. Wood is the real deal!

26. You refuse to believe that snuff or "snus" is harmful.

Since snuff "isn't harmful", you can't understand why no one except the Scandinavians use it.

27. You don't think a farmhouse is actually a farmhouse unless it is red or yellow with white trim.

28. You don't find "bananer i pyjamas" to be a bit sexual.

29. You realize that five ants are more than four elephants

30. You hate keyboards without “å, ä, ö” with a passion.

31. You think it's perfectly normal and not offending at all when Frank Zappa's song "Bobby Brown goes down" is played at a disco for 9-year olds

32. You know they are the same, but you just don't trust ibuprofen and paracetamol the way you trust Ipren and Alvedon

33. You, in pure disgust try to tell your fellow peers that it’s basic human behavior to shower after PE and they look at you like you come from a different planet.

34. You can’t believe that you have to pay for your disgusting school lunch.

35. You don’t consider Starbucks a proper café, since a real cafe is a atmospheric, groovy, cosy place not at all as brightly lit and multi national as Starbucks.

36. It's not strange that the Prime Minister marries the CEO of "Systembolaget"

37. You don’t find it strange having a prime minister who is like...41? 42?

38. You find it completely normal, when going to a pre-party (förfest) everyone has their "Systembolaget" bag in the fridge and notoriously keep track of which liquor is their liquor!

39. You consider blond hair about as normal as dark hair.

40. You only consider hair on the verge of being "white", blond. Everything else is just very bright brown hair.

41. Everything you know about sex you learned from ”Bullen” or KP's "Kropp och Knopp".

42. You find teenage mums shocking and very strange; because you don't know anyone who had a child before 25 and you thought that was young.

43. You know, but don’t really get why and how Sweden "tronar på minnen från fornstora dar, då ärat dess namn flög over jorden.”

44. You find it hilarious that the Polish sing about the evil Swedes in their national anthem.

45. You know what a modem is but you can't believe people still use them.

46. You know you're Swedish when you believe in signing petitions.

47. You analyse EVERYTHING way too much.

48. You think dating someone you haven't even had drunken sex with yet is a bit backwards.

49. Making fun of Norwy is a national institution. And vice versa.

50. You systematically accuse the Germans for stealing elk signs.

51. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansrätten?"

52. Confronted with a new substance you ask your government if it is ok for you to touch/ingest/be on the same continent as it. Then follow their recommendation without complaining and in utter faith.

53. You find atheist priests perfectly rational.

54. Someone insults your girlfrien you dont hit him because your girlfriend would be pissed off if she doesn’t get to hit him herself.

55. You know that asking someone you are attracted to if they want to come over to your place for “tea” does actually not involve drinking tea at all.

56. You fully believe that walking on "a-brunnar" gives u bad luck.

57. You even begin to understand what someone means when they give you a number of a week instead of a date.

58. You get confused why people in other countries buy their flats instead of just rent them.

59. When the only school grades you know are "pass", "fail" and "high pass", and don't understand why others have grades like A, B. C.....

60. You remind yourself which months in the year Sweden is warm, not by looking at the weather (simply because its mostly cold), but by humming the Gyllene Tider lyrics; "..juni, juli, augusti..".

61. If living in the northern part of Sweden you consider the first monday in september being the real new years eve since the year is scheduled in before and after älgjakten.

62. You don’t consider going to Norway or Finland as leaving Sweden

63. You still believe it’s free to visit your doctor even though, in fact it’s pretty expensive, but you keep spreading this myth of the free health care system to the rest of the world.

64. You find the thought of becoming a 'Svensson' scary. However you can’t imagine a future without a red 'villa', a volvo, two kids and a dog.

65. You understand the unspoken war between Stockholm and Göteborg.

66. And you don't find it rude to snoop around in people's houses the first time you visit (“gå husesyn”).

67. You were never patriotic about Sweden when you lived there, but once you moved out, consider Sweden to be some sort of paradise where everything is perfect - unlike your new country of residence.

Jag vet att jag är älsak. älskar dig tillbaka <3. Kom just på lite mer om hjältemod...