Amazing.. So Amazing..

It's too hard. Wait, no it's not too hard.. I know I can handle this just fine - I am -, but there is still something that's changed.. I want my words to be heard, I want to be able to say what I wanna say and yet I can't seem to be able to do that.. Then tears are just gonna build up in my eyes, and I never want to cry infront of others.. I don't want to be seen like im weak. It's not worth it, it's not even something to cry over.. This situation doesn't even bother me, it's everything else around it. Fine, get lost, leave, but what about everything else? What will happen from now on..? It scares me, but what hurts the most is to see everybody else being so hurt by this.. And I don't know if I will be able to work hard enough to make everything alright as soon as possible..

All I want right now, is my own place.. My own place that will be full of peace, freedom, where I can feel at ease.. Where I can really put my all into my work, and try to reach my goals so everything will be alright. I want my happy place, cause it can also be that happy place for others.. Please, I don't wanna cry inside my heart anymore.. I don't have the strength to stop the visible tears any longer, but how can I show myself so weak, when everybody else needs someone to be there for them? This is killing me inside.. The thoughts of those small moments where everything feels alright, the thoughts of my future happy place, is what keeps me strong - even if it's just a bit, and for now..

Annons

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Camera NIKON D90

Focal length 45 mm

Aperture f/9.0

Shutter 1/320 s

ISO 200

Date

November 2012