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"You don't want a 100-lb white girl mad at you. You'll flinch every time you hear a Range Rover. "
"I spoke to my cardiologist and he said that if you hadn't caught my high blood pressure and it had continued unchecked, it might have resulted in a mild case of... death."
"Listen up everybody. I appreciate solidarity but I did not blow off Paul because he's a nurse. So please stop leaving bedpans in my locker. It makes me cry."-
"I get to cut you open, I get to cut you open, I get to cut you open,I get to cut you open!"
"I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a clean non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage. You know, you should move in with my friend, Anal McLoony."
"Okay. Think of what little patience I have as...oh, I don't know...your virginity: You always thought it would be there, until that night junior year when you were feeling a little down about yoursel