April
Friday 29 August 2008 photo 1/1
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Tim Minchin - If you really loved me
If you really loved me the way you say you do
If you love me half as much as I love you
You would pluck a planet from the sky
You'd use a star to dot the i
In "I love you".. that is what youd do
You'd take a cloudy sky and you would paint it blue
If you loved me unconditionally
Its the very least youd do for me
You know I need you
Like a fish needs the sea
Like a fire needs oxygen
Like a flower needs a bee
But if you really care for me
Youd let me video you while you wee
Standing up in the bath, I shouldnt even have to ask
Perhaps youll even store a little more in a flask
These are just the things that people do
When their love for one another is true
Doo doo doo
We go together
Like a cracker and Brie
Like racism and ignorance
Like niggers and R&B
But if you really want to show you care
You'd let me wear your underwear
When we go to your mums, for a bit of harmless fun
I just like talking about your childhood with lace between my buns
Theres no reason for a big to-do
If your love for me is really truly true
We go together
Like a bird and a nest
Like Internet and kiddie-porn
Like guns and the US
And if you love me like you say you do
Youd purchase thirty cockatoos
And teach them to fly… in formation in the sky
And shit the words "Tim is God" on my ex-girlfriends Hyundai
Sure, it might be easier with doves
But shirking challenges is not what love
Is all about
Love is not all wine and roses
Sometimes its handcuffs and cheese
No-one said love is for free
And if you acknowledge that
You’d sing me Bible stories wearing nothing but your Bob the Builder hat
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
I just love the combination of Islam, nationalism and builder
Because I need you
Like a tick needs a tock
Like bananas need pyjamas
Like a nun needs cock
But if you want to put your love for me first
You wouldnt go through childbirth
Youd agree to adopt so that you could stay thin
Well get a Chinese kid, it could teach us Mandarin
And communists dont make as much noise
And they’re really good at sharing their toys
Because I dig you
Like an Aussie digs pies
Like Born-Agains dig Jesus
Like Jesus dug guys
And if you love me unconditionally
Youd do my tax return for me
Cos its way overdue, and I just dont know,
I guess Im self-employed but do I still pay as I go?
And does the threshold apply to me?
And should I register for GST
And if you love me unconditionally
Youll let me video you while you wee?
Assuming theres nothing worth watching on TV
If you really loved me the way you say you do
If you love me half as much as I love you
You would pluck a planet from the sky
You'd use a star to dot the i
In "I love you".. that is what youd do
You'd take a cloudy sky and you would paint it blue
If you loved me unconditionally
Its the very least youd do for me
You know I need you
Like a fish needs the sea
Like a fire needs oxygen
Like a flower needs a bee
But if you really care for me
Youd let me video you while you wee
Standing up in the bath, I shouldnt even have to ask
Perhaps youll even store a little more in a flask
These are just the things that people do
When their love for one another is true
Doo doo doo
We go together
Like a cracker and Brie
Like racism and ignorance
Like niggers and R&B
But if you really want to show you care
You'd let me wear your underwear
When we go to your mums, for a bit of harmless fun
I just like talking about your childhood with lace between my buns
Theres no reason for a big to-do
If your love for me is really truly true
We go together
Like a bird and a nest
Like Internet and kiddie-porn
Like guns and the US
And if you love me like you say you do
Youd purchase thirty cockatoos
And teach them to fly… in formation in the sky
And shit the words "Tim is God" on my ex-girlfriends Hyundai
Sure, it might be easier with doves
But shirking challenges is not what love
Is all about
Love is not all wine and roses
Sometimes its handcuffs and cheese
No-one said love is for free
And if you acknowledge that
You’d sing me Bible stories wearing nothing but your Bob the Builder hat
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
I just love the combination of Islam, nationalism and builder
Because I need you
Like a tick needs a tock
Like bananas need pyjamas
Like a nun needs cock
But if you want to put your love for me first
You wouldnt go through childbirth
Youd agree to adopt so that you could stay thin
Well get a Chinese kid, it could teach us Mandarin
And communists dont make as much noise
And they’re really good at sharing their toys
Because I dig you
Like an Aussie digs pies
Like Born-Agains dig Jesus
Like Jesus dug guys
And if you love me unconditionally
Youd do my tax return for me
Cos its way overdue, and I just dont know,
I guess Im self-employed but do I still pay as I go?
And does the threshold apply to me?
And should I register for GST
And if you love me unconditionally
Youll let me video you while you wee?
Assuming theres nothing worth watching on TV
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