STEALTH såg den filmen nyss. shit alltså, oom den filmen är bra! bästa filmen på länge(Y) Godnatt

Every now and then a movie comes along that really makes you wonder at the depths of human nature, the very intricate framework that binds us together in society. Stealth is one such movie, if of course you replace "human nature" with "Jessica Biel's cleavage", and "intricate framework" with "mind-numbingly bad plot and acting".

It all begins simply enough with the same old introduction of the piloting dream team (for more information on high flying dream teams, please reference Top Gun, Apollo 13, and the 1992 Olympic Men's Basketball Finals). Surely enough, one of them is a visible minority, one a woman, and one a version of white machismo incarnate. So, at this point in the movie, can you already guess who's going to sacrifice themselves for the team, who's going to need rescuing, and who's going to save the day? Good, good, and we're only 30 seconds into the opening credits. Next, enter the 'wave of the future' that's obviously going to turn evil and yada-yada-yada. Then, of course, mysteriously relocate the technician who's nervous about the doomsday implications of said future-wave. Same old, same old. Can we see some boobies yet? Yes, yes we can.

We then continue aimlessly through this movie as it twists and turns… and twists some more… and then, seemingly at the end of its contortion, starts twisting back to where it came from – the sewer. Joined the whole way by bad dialog, a senseless plot and a host of mispronunciations, not the least of which was "Tajikistan" (pronounced tie-gee-kee-stan by our venerable commander), this movie begins on a downward spiral which ultimately emerges as a two hour Army recruitment commercial. Cue the rescue, and with it the fact that these pilots all have better aim than the guys trained to shoot, and you have a movie.

So, what was it about this movie that was supposed to be good again? Ah, I remember, the special effects, the ones that have been assaulting our eyes on TV every ten minutes for the past month and a half. They couldn't possibly fail there, right? Wrong. In some scenes, the planes would have been better off being constructed of plasticine, and the terrible digital flames marking the sight of one pilot's unfortunate and entirely foreseeable demise might as well have been drawn by hand for all the effect they had.

In short, this movie is awful, but who knows, someone out there might like it. So if you're the kind of person who still wonders how they get the caramel inside the Caramilk bar, go see this movie, otherwise, you might just go Oedipus on your eyes.
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Thoughtless, but entertaining in a non-insulting way (that's good), 30 July 2005
8/10
Author: addgarlic from Princeton, NJ

Stealth is devoid of higher thinking (or maybe any thinking at all). However it has couple of good things going for it:

1. Special effects are well-used. the planes and missiles and explosions rock. the dog fights does not rely on editing but is given a good effort.

2. Yes the premise is dumb - we assume correctly it would not be supported by thoughtful investigation into the mechanics behind the artificial pilot. However, the movie recognizes this fact and does not pretend to have given the matter much thought. It is straight and honest, though still mindless. But hey, that's alright sometimes.

3. The story is simple, but not linear - and that counts for a lot in a movie of this type, because it is unexpected and not required. Stealth has moments where it feels like an epic, albeit a mind-free one.

4. Have you noticed that it's often better to imply a romantic sentiment between the main characters rather than slamming it in your face, especially in an action movie which has precious little time to develop the relationship to begin with? You haven't? Uh that's not good... Anyway, Stealth doesn't kid us with a hasty obligatory romance but gives its characters some room to maneuver between inter-pilot and inter-personal relationships. What was the last summer popcorn movie you can remember that similarly uh, respected our intelligence? I am giving Stealth a lot of credit here. Let's just say if it insulted my intelligence, I was happy to let it slide this time because I was having a good time.

5. Ultimately Stealth is entertaining from beginning to end. It "respects" our intelligence by not appearing to be smarter than dumb. Stupid is less stupid when it doesn't pretend.

I hope you give this movie a chance, and notice how it differs in the formula and execution from what you may have anticipated and from other mindless summer blockbusters.

Thanks.
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26 out of 33 people found the following comment useful :-
This means war, 5 January 2006
1/10
Author: dejfatman from Chicago

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

(Spoilers ahead)

My brother in law must hate me, and I cannot let this pass. I mean, I might have been able to let it go if his disdain for me had manifested itself in a more civilized manner, like him sucker-punching me in the balls and calling my kids ugly. But no, his hatred for me runs so deep, he chose to exact his villainy upon me in the form of this hell-spawn stupidity know as Stealth.

Each grating second of the film was like another twist of Lucifer's fiery trident in my face. Hours after this holocaust was but a distant memory to my TV screen, the horrific imagery was still burned in my retinas. I could still hear Satan's demonic host laughing at me, lead by my brother-in-law.

Stealth, which easily charges past XXX and The Fast and The Furious in its unwavering quest to be the stupidest movie of all time, was directed by Rob Cohen, who, in exchange for fame, is obviously bound by some unholy pact with the devil to assault all of his viewers' senses. And yes, I mean all my senses: this movie looked, sounded, felt, smelled, and even tasted like week old sushi.

The movie's plot starts by introducing a trio of hotshot pilots who fight hard, play hard, and have perfect hair and teeth while doing it. You have Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas), the fearless leader who is wild, unpredictable, and doesn't like to follow orders, but, gosh dangit, he's the best darned pilot they have. Then there's his love interest, Kara Wade (Jessica Biel), a woman whose skills surpass most men's, especially when it comes to filling out a bikini. Last, and certainly least, is Token Blackguy (Jamie Foxx), the promiscuous, hip hop listenin', basketball playin', and doomed-to-die comedic relief.

After completing a dazzling training mission filled with enough fast cuts to induce a seizure, our trio is informed by the evil military commander that a fourth member, piloting a new prototype plane, will soon join their group. But the new pilot is no ordinary pilot. No, it's actually a computerized, talking Times Square New Year's Eve Ball! And his name, obviously ripped off some budding porn star, is "Extreme Deep Invader" or EDI for short. EDI is the heart of the military's latest and greatest weapon, the Unmanned Combat Aerial Vehicle (UCAV). He was also designed and built by idiots, because instead of being programmed to behave methodically, predictably, and controllably in the battlefield, he actually learns on the fly, picking up such useful skills like how to download illegal MP3s on the internet.

EDI is, of course, rushed into service during the hotshots' next mission, and before you can say "HAL900", he gets struck by lightning, goes all "Skynet" on them, becoming sentient. Luckily, his programmers equipped him to display a graphical representation of a DNA double helix being split for just such an occasion.

Soon afterward, the super team is scrambled to destroy some baddies holed up in a castle in the middle-east before the arrival of some ox carts bearing nukes (no, I'm not kidding). Despite orders telling him to stand down due to a high collateral damage assessment, EDI lights up the terrorists, spreading radioactive dust over the whole region. Not satisfied, EDI decides to off and kill several targets programmed in his hypothetical war scenario system, thrusting the plot forward into the man versus evil machine story. I could swear I heard my 3 year old say, "Saw that one coming."

From this point, the movie leaves the land of popcorn-movie incongruity and spirals into complete and utter implausibility. I won't go into too much detail, but one of our heroes dies, one manages to invade Russian airspace, shooting down 2 Russian jets sent to defend their homeland (ensuring the start of WWIII), and the other somehow crashes down in North Korea, requiring a rescue attempt that murders dozens of North Korean border patrol. And what about evil EDI? What else; he develops a conscience and sacrifices himself for the team, supposedly leaving you with a heart warming feeling. It left me with heartburn.

The abominable movie closes with the typical happy Hollywood ending where Ben Gannon and Kara Wade exchange love vows. Ah, nothing like true love to help forget about the impending apocalypse they just ushered in by invading Russia and North Korea.

You know, there are many ways to creatively describe hate. But the best one in this case, unfortunately, is not entirely my own. I couldn't help but think of one particular line in the cheesy dialog that, with a little modification, could perfectly describe this movie. At one point, in charge of maintaining EDI's brain, our stereotypical computer geek with bad hair, clothes, and, most likely odor, describes EDI as a "quantum sponge" that can learn at a geometric rate. Well, this movie is like a "quantum vacuum". The longer you watch, the more it sucks at a geometric rate.