Sunday 19 June 2011 photo 1/1
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Why could you not just have fallen with me?
It would have been so much easier.
It's not like I ever asked to love you. It just came by it self really. The more we spoke, the deeper I fell. Your way to cheer me up after a tiring and heavy day at work. Your meaningless words that still meant the world to me. All of your silly jokes. The way I could read in your mails how you were smiling while writing them. How you would always annoy me to no end just to see how long it would take before I hit you. Being the first to hear all of your creative ideas...
I miss it all. Our day to day conversations, the nagging, the fighting, the laughter. It was almost like we were a couple before I decided to take the risk in making it real.
But in the end I stood there, ashamed, with my tail between my legs as you explained that you did not feel the same. That, sure, you liked me, but only as a friend. That I was too young and naive for you. You could not say yes, because you wanted someone your age. Someone more mature that a kid like me. Nine years is not really all that much, you know. I actually believed you could have been able to put that aside but that was not the case. I can still hear your long explanation leading up to your 'No'. I don't think I'll ever be able to un-hear it.
And the worst thing is, when you asked me if it was okay, I lied to you. I told you I'd be fine. But you know what? I'm not. Two and a half months have passed, and I still want to cry every time I see you. And you do not know this. You have no idea how you hurt me. You do not know that however much I want to hate you, I can't.
And what we had before is all messed up. Our daily conversations ran out in the sand. I have not heard your voice or groused at your spelling mistakes for two months. I miss it. I miss you.
Why could you not just have fallen with me?
It's not like I ever asked to love you. It just came by it self really. The more we spoke, the deeper I fell. Your way to cheer me up after a tiring and heavy day at work. Your meaningless words that still meant the world to me. All of your silly jokes. The way I could read in your mails how you were smiling while writing them. How you would always annoy me to no end just to see how long it would take before I hit you. Being the first to hear all of your creative ideas...
I miss it all. Our day to day conversations, the nagging, the fighting, the laughter. It was almost like we were a couple before I decided to take the risk in making it real.
But in the end I stood there, ashamed, with my tail between my legs as you explained that you did not feel the same. That, sure, you liked me, but only as a friend. That I was too young and naive for you. You could not say yes, because you wanted someone your age. Someone more mature that a kid like me. Nine years is not really all that much, you know. I actually believed you could have been able to put that aside but that was not the case. I can still hear your long explanation leading up to your 'No'. I don't think I'll ever be able to un-hear it.
And the worst thing is, when you asked me if it was okay, I lied to you. I told you I'd be fine. But you know what? I'm not. Two and a half months have passed, and I still want to cry every time I see you. And you do not know this. You have no idea how you hurt me. You do not know that however much I want to hate you, I can't.
And what we had before is all messed up. Our daily conversations ran out in the sand. I have not heard your voice or groused at your spelling mistakes for two months. I miss it. I miss you.
Annons
Comment the photo
pumpkinGem
Sun 19 Jun 2011 23:07
I feel you, hun. Been there. If you want to talk, I'm right here. You know that, right?
![](http://cdn08.dayviews.com/88/_u6/_u9/_u5/_u1/_u9/u695197/1278962415_1.jpg)
carrotkimchi
Mon 20 Jun 2011 13:31
Of course I know. I just.. I don't know. I guess I was afraid of admitting that it all actually happened..
![](http://cdn08.dayviews.com/48/_u3/_u5/_u2/_u5/_u8/u352581/1294927760_1.jpg)
pumpkinGem
Mon 20 Jun 2011 17:37
It gets a bit easier with every day that passes. But it won't ever be okay. You just learn to live with it. ♥
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