Ta mig, ta mig, ta mig, ta mig!

SCIENCE FICTION / DOUBLE FEATURE

Sung by
Usherette Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still,
(Lips) But he told us where we stand. “On our feet” (audience stands)
And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear;
Claude Rains was the invisible man.
Then something went wrong, for Fay Wray and King Kong,
They got caught in a celluloid jam
Then at a deadly pace it came from Outer Space
And this is how the message ran:

Chorus: Science fiction, double feature
Dr X will build a creature.
See androids fighting Brad and Janet.

Oh oh oh oh
At the late night, double feature
Picture Show.

Usherette I knew Leo G. Carrol was over a barrel,
(Lips) When tarantula took to the hills.
And I really got hot when I saw Jeanette Scott Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
Dana Andrews said Prunes, gave him the Runes
And passing them used lots of skills
But when worlds collide said George Pal to his bride
“I’m gonna give you some terrible thrills”
Like A….

Chorus: Science fiction, double feature
Dr X will build a creature.
See androids fighting Brad and Janet.

Oh oh oh oh
At the late night, double feature
Picture Show.

I wanna go
Oh oh oh
To the late night, double feature Picture Show
Oh oh oh
To the late night double feature Picture Show
In the back row

Oh oh oh
To the late night double feature Picture Show

(Lips fade into a picture of a cross)


Dentonian: Here they come! (Dentonians cheer and throw rice)

Photographer: Let’s get a picture. Close together now. The folks and the grandparents. Just of The close family. Aah, hold that. Beautiful. And… (Snap picture is taken) (Photographer laughs)

Dentonian: Congratulations.

Ralph: I guess we finally did it, huh. (Playfully hits Brad)


Brad: I don’t think there’s any doubt about that. You and Betty have been almost
Inseparable since you met in Dr Scott’s refresher class.

Ralph: Well to tell you the truth, Brad, that’s the only reason I showed up in the
First place. (Chuckles)

Betty: Ok you guys, this is it. (Everyone screams)

Ralph: Well Betty’s going to throw the bouquet.

Janet: I got it! I got it!

Ralph: Hey big fella
Looks like it could be your turn next. Eh?

Brad: Who knows?

Ralph: Well, so long, see you brad. Guess we better get going now Bett.
Come on, hop in.

(Brad hits the car twice. They drive away)

Janet: Oh, Brad, wasn’t it wonderful? Wasn’t Betty radiantly beautiful?
I can’t believe it. An hour ago she was just plain Betty Monroe
And now…
Now she’s Mrs Ralph Hapschatt.

Brad: Yes Janet, Ralph is a lucky guy.

Janet: Yes

Dentonian: I always cry at weddings.

Brad: Everyone knows that Betty is a wonderful little cook.

Janet: Yes

Brad: Why Ralph himself, he’ll be in line for a promotion in a year or two.

Janet: Yes.



DAMN IT JANET

Brad: Hey Janet.

Janet: Yes Brad?

Brad: I’ve got something to say.

Janet: Uh Huh.

Brad: I really love
Skilful way…
You beat the other girls…
To the brides bouquet.

Janet: Oh Brad.

Brad: The river was deep but I swam it. (Chorus: Janet)
The future is ours so lets plan it. (Chorus: Janet)
So please don’t tell me to can it (Chorus: Janet)
I’ve one thing to say and that damn it Janet I love you.


The road was long but I ran it (Chorus: Janet)
There’s a fire in my heart and you fan it (Chorus: Janet)
If there’s one fool for you then I am it. (Chorus: Janet)
I’ve one thing to say and that damn it Janet I love you.

Here’s a ring to prove that I’m no joker
There’s three way that love can grow
That’s good, bad or mediocre.
Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so.

(Brad drops ring.)

Janet: Oh, it’s nicer than Betty Monroe had (Chorus: Oh Brad)
Now we’re engaged and I’m so glad. (Chorus: Oh Brad)

That you met Mom and you know Dad. (Chorus: Oh Brad)
I’ve one thing to say and that’s Brad, I’m mad for you too.
Oh Brad…

Brad: Oh…Damnit.

Janet: I’m mad…

Brad: Oh…Janet

Janet: … for you.

Brad: I love you too.

Brad & Janet: There’s one thing left to do- ah-oo

Brad: and that’s go see the man who began it. (Chorus: Janet)
When we met in his science exam-it (Chorus: Janet)
Made me give you the eye and then panic
Now I’ve one thing to say and that’s damn it Janet, I love you.
Damn it, Janet.

Janet: Oh Brad, I’m mad.

Brad: Damn it. Janet.

Brad & Janet: I Love you.

Narrator: I would like …ah, If I may…
… to take you…on a strange journey.

(Narrator goes for black book)

(Narrator opens the book)

Narrator: It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors and his fiancée
Janet Weiss two young, normal, healthy kids left Denton
That late November evening, to visit Dr. Everett Scott…
Ex-tutor now friend to both of them.
It’s true there were dark storm clouds. Heavy, Black and
Pendulous, towards which they were driving.
It’s true also, that the spare
tyre they were carrying was badly in need of some air,
but they being normal kids, on a night out, well, they weren’t going to let a storm spoil the rest of their evening, were they? On a night out…
It was a night out they were going to remember..
For a very long time.

(Richard Nixon speech on the radio)

Nixon: I have never been a quitter…To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body.
But as a president I must put the interests of America first.
America needs a full time president, and a full time congress…

Janet: Gosh, that’s the third motorcycle that’s passed us.
They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all.

Brad: Yes, Janet, life’s pretty cheap to that type.

Janet: Oh…What’s the matter, Brad darling?

Brad: We must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back.

Janet: Oh, but where did those motorcycles come from?

Brad: Hmmm… well I guess we’ll just have to turn back.

(Boom the tyre explodes)

Janet: Oh, what was that bang?

Brad: We must have a blow out. (bangs dashboard)
Dammit! I knew I should have gotten that spare tyre fixed.
Well, you just stay here and keep warm and I’ll go for help.

Janet: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?

Brad: …Didn’t we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?
Maybe they have a telephone we could use.

Janet: I’m going with you.

Brad: Oh, no darling, there’s no sense in both of us getting wet.

Janet: I’m coming with you, besides darling, the owner of that
Phone might be a beautiful woman and you might never come back.

Brad: (Laughing) Hey Hey Hey Hey.

(They get out of the car, Brad kicks the tyre)



OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE

Janet: In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright
There’s a guiding star.
No matter what or who you are.
There’s a light

Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place

Brad & Janet: There’s a light

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace

Brad & Janet: There’s a light, light, in the darkness of everybody’s life.


(The following section exists in the stage performance)


Brad: I can see the flag fly
I can see the rain
Just the same, there has got to be
Something better here for you and me.


Brad & Janet: There’s a light…

Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place

Brad & Janet: There’s a light…

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace.

Brad & Janet: There’s a light, light in the darkness of everybody’s life.

Riff Raff: The darkness must go down, the river of nights dreaming,
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming…
Into my life. Into my life….

Brad & Janet: There’s a light

Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.

Brad & Janet: There’s a light…

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace
There’s a light, a light

Brad & Janet: …In the darkness of everybody’s life.

Narrator: And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet
and that they had found the assistance that their plight required
… or had they?

Janet: Brad, lets go back, I’m cold and frightened…

Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.



(Riff Raff Opens The Door)

Riff Raff: Hello

Brad: Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancée, Janet Weiss I wonder if you could help us. You see our car broke down a few miles up the road… do you have a phone we might use?

Riff Raff: You’re wet.

Janet: Yes- it’s raining

Brad: Yes.

Riff Raff: Yes… (Lightning strikes, illuminating motorbikes.)
I think perhaps you bother better come inside.

Janet: You’re too kind.

Janet: Oh Brad, I’m frightened. Hat kind of a place is this?

Brad: Oh, it’s probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdo’s

Janet: Oh. (Forlornly)

Riff Raff: This way.

Janet: Are you having a party?

Riff Raff: You’ve arrived on a very special night. It’s one of the masters affairs.

Magenta: You’re lucky, he’s lucky, I’m lucky. We’re all lucky. Ha ha ha ha ha.

(The clock chimes seven times) (Note: the clock reads 6 O’clock)


THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff: It’s astounding! Time is fleeting
Madness…takes it’s toll.
But listen closely

Magenta: Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff: I’ve got to keep control
I remember doing the time warp
Drinking those moments when…
The darkness would hit me…


Riff Raff &
Magenta: and the void would be calling…

Transylvanians: Let’s do the time warp again
Let’s do the time warp again

Narrator: It’s just a jump to the left


All: And then a step to the right

Narrator: With your hands on your hips

All: You bring your knees in tight
But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.

Let’s do the time warp again
Let’s do the time warp again.

Magenta: It’s so dreamy. Oh fantasy frees me.
So you cant see me, no not at all.
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
well secluded I see all

Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip.

Magenta: You’re into the time slip

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same

Magenta: You’re spaced out on sensation

Riff Raff: Like you’re under sedation.

All: Let’s do the time warp again.
Let’s do the time warp again.

Columbia: Well I was walking down the street just having a think,
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
He shook me up, he took me by surprise,
He had a pick up truck, and the devil’s eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change,
Time meant nothing, never would again.

All: Let’s do the time warp again.
Let’s do the time warp again.

Narrator: It’s just a jump to the left.

All: And then a step to the right.
Narrator: With your hands on your hips

All: You bring your knees in tight
But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.

Let’s do the time warp again.
Let’s do the time warp again.

(Columbia tap dances)

(Columbia falls)

All: Let’s do the time warp again.
Let’s do the time warp again.

Narrator: It’s just a jump to the left

All: And then a step to the right

Narrator: With your hands on your hips

All: You bring your knees in tight
But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane.


Let’s do the time warp again.
Let’s do the time warp again.

(Everyone collapses out of exhaustion)

Janet: Brad, say something. (Whispered)

Brad: Say! Do any of you guys know how to Madison?

Janet: Brad, please, let’s get out of here.

Brad: for god’s sake keep a grip of yourself

(Music cue softly at first, crescendo up)

Janet: But it seems so unhealthy here.

Brad: It’s just a party, Janet.

Janet: Well – I want to go.

Brad: Well we cant go anywhere until I get to a phone.

Janet: Well then ask the butler or someone.
Brad: Just a moment Janet – we don’t want to interfere with their celebration.

Janet: This isn’t the junior chamber of commerce, Brad.

Brad: They’re probably foreigners with ways different than our own.
They may do some more folk dancing.

Janet: Look, I’m cold, I’m wet, and I’m just plain scared

Brad: I’m here – There’s nothing to worry about

(Janet turns around and faces the elevator and sees frank, she screams and then she faints.)

SWEET TRANSVESTITE.

Frank-n-Furter: How do you do I, see you’ve met my
Faithful handyman.
He’s just a little brought down because, when you knocked,
He thought you were the Candyman.
Don’t get strung out by the way I look.
Don’t judge a book by its cover
I’m not much of a man, by the light of the day
But by night I’m one hell of a love

I‘m just a sweet transvestite, from transsexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you’re both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual, that’s not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves Movie

Brad: I’m glad we caught you at home,
Could we use your phone?
We’re both in a bit of a hurry.

Janet Right

Brad: we’ll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We don’t want to be any worry

Frank-n- Furter: Well you got caught with a flat, how ‘bout that?
Well babies don’t you panic
By the light of the night it’ll all seem alright
I’ll get you a satanic mechanic

I’m just a sweet transvestite
From transsexual, Transylvania

Why don’t you stay for the night,

Riff Raff: Night

Frank – n – Furter: or maybe a bite


Columbia: (Echo) Bite

Frank – n – Furter: I could show you my favourite obsession
I’ve been making a man
With blond hair and a tan
And he’s good for relieving my tension

I’m just a sweet transvestite
From transsexual, Transylvania
(Echo) Hit it, Hit it!
I’m just a sweet transvestite

Columbia, Riff Raff
& Magenta: Sweet Transvestite

Frank – n – Furter: From, transsexual

Columbia, Riff Raff,
Magenta & Frank: Transylvania

Frank – n – Furter: So, come up to the lab
And see what’s on the slab
I see you shiver with antici… (Pauses)

Frank – n – Furter: …pation. But maybe the rain, isn’t really to blame
So I’ll remove the cause
(Frank chuckles)
but not he symptom

(Applause)
(Brad and Janet are given towels)

Janet: Thank you.

Brad: Thank you very much

(Columbia and Riff Raff start to undress Brad and Janet)

Janet: Oh! Brad

Brad: It’s all right Janet. We’ll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is right.

Columbia: Slowly, Slowly! It’s too nice a job to rush.
Brad: Hi, my name is Brad Majors and this is my fiancée Janet Weiss
You are…

Columbia: You’re very lucky to be invited to Frank’s laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege.

Brad: People like you maybe?

Columbia: Ha! I’ve seen it.

(Riff Raff pours wine into a glass, takes a swig from the bottle, and lets it drop after Columbia says “Shift it!”)

Riff Raff: Come along – the master doesn’t like to be kept waiting. (Drops Bottle)

Magenta: Shift it!

(Janet screeches – the elevator goes up)

Janet: Is he – Frank, I mean – your husband?

Riff Raff: The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever shall be. We are simply his…Servants.

Janet: Oh.

Frank-n- Furter: Magenta
Columbia
go and assist Riff Raff
I will entertain..
Uh huh huh… (Chuckle)
(Camera shows Brad)

Brad: Brad Majors. And this is my fiancée Janet Vice

Janet: Weiss.

Brad: Weiss? Um

Frank-n-Furter: Enchante.

(Janet giggles)

Frank-n-Furter: Well! How nice
And what charming underclothes you both have.
But here. Put these one, they’ll make you feel less vulnerable
It’s not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them…hospitality.

Brad: Hospitality?! All we asked was to use your telephone, god damn it, a reasonable request which you’ve chosen to ignore.

Janet: Brad, Don’t be ungrateful.

Brad: Ungrateful!

Frank-n-Furter: How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So…
dominant (Crowd laughs)
You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.

Janet: Well, yes I am. (Giggles)

Frank-n-Furter: Do you have any tattoos Brad?

Brad: Certainly not!

Frank-n-Furter: Oh well, how about you. (To Janet)

Janet: No. (Giggling)

Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your (Pause) …Word.

(Frank-n-Furter spills wine on Riff Raff)

Frank-n-Furter: Tonight, my unconventional conventionalists…you are to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research… and paradise is to be mine…it was strange the way it happened…suddenly you get a break…whole pieces start to fit into place, not a sign of being…what a fool the answer was there all the time it took a small accident to make it happen…
AN ACCIDENT!

Magenta & Columbia: An Accident!

Frank-n-Furter: And that’s how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient,
that spark that is the breath of life… yes I have that knowledge…I hold the secret…to life itself. (Cheers from the crowd)

You see you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my creature is destined to be born!

Frank-n-Furter: Up now! .. Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator…
And step up the reactor power three more points!

Janet: Oh Brad!

Brad: It’s all right Janet.

(Colourful fluids, etc. in the order Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet)

(Rocky emits some guttural garbage)

Frank-n-Furter: Oh! Rocky!



THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES

Rocky: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head,
And I’ve got the feeling that someone’s gonna be cutting the thread.
Oh, woe is me, my life is a misery.
Oh. Can’t you see, that I’m at the start of a pretty big downer.
I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.

All: That ain’t no crime.

Rocky: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unamable dread.

All: That ain’t no crime.

Rocky: My high is low, I’m dressed up with no place to go.
And all I know is I’m at the start of a pretty big downer.

Frank-n-Furter: Oh, Rocky.

All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime.

Rocky: Oh ho no no

All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime.

Rocky: Oh ho no no

All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime.

Rocky: Oh ho no no.
The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.

All: That ain’t no crime.

Rocky: And I’ve got the feeling that someone’s gonna be cutting the thread.

All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime.

Rocky: Oh ho no no
All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime.

Rocky: Oh ho no no

All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime.
Rocky: Oh ho no no

(Repeat until end – Sha la la)

All: Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime,
Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime, Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime, Sha-la-la.

Frank-n-Furter: Well really. That’s no way to behave on your first day out.

Rocky: Ugh Ugh (Forlornly like a puppy dog)

Frank-n-Furter: But since you’re such an exceptional beauty, I’m prepared to forgive you.

Rocky: Ugh Ugh (Crowd applauses) (Rocky bangs his bars)

Frank-n-Furter: Oh, I just love success.

Riff Raff: He’s a credit to your genius, master.

Frank-n-Furter: Yes

Magenta: A triumph of your will

Frank-n-Furter: Yes

Columbia: He’s ok

Frank-n-Furter: Ok (Hits Tank) Ok!
I think we can do better than that. Humph!
Well, Brad and Janet, what do you think?

Janet: Well, I don’t like a man with too many muscles.

Frank-n-Furter: I didn’t make him… for you
He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval.


I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN

Frank-n-Furter: A weakling weighing ninety eight pounds
Will get sand in his face, when kicked to the ground;

Rocky: Ugh…Ugh…

Frank-n-Furter: And soon in the gym with a determined chin,
The sweat from his paws as he works for his cause
Will make him glisten and gleam.
And with massage.. and just a little bit of steam.

Frank-n-Furter: He’ll be pink and quite clean
He’ll be a strong man oh honey…

All: But the wrong man.

Frank-n-Furter: He’ll eat nutritious high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms and legs

Frank-n-Furter: Such an effort, if he only knew of my plan,
In just seven days…

Frank-n-Furter &
Transylvanians: I can make you a man.

Frank-n-Furter: He’ll do press ups, and chin ups, do the snatch clean and jerk
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.
Such strenuous living I just don’t understand,
When in just seven days…
I can make you a man.

Frank-n-Furter: Ah-Ooh

(The door to the vault opens)

(Eddie appears on his motorbike)

Columbia: EDDIE!



HOT PATOOTIE – BLESS MY SOUL

Eddie: What ever happened to Saturday night,
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
It don’t seem the same since cosmic light,
Came into my life, I thought I was divine.

Eddie: I used to go for a ride with a chick, who’d go,
And listen to the music on the radio;
A saxophone was blowing on a rock n’ roll show.
You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good time.

Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll

Eddie: My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled,
My hands kind of fumbled with her whit plastic belt.
I’d taste her baby pink lipstick and that’s when I’d melt,
And she’d whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine.
Get back in front, and put some hair oil on,
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song.
With your arms around your girl you’d try to sing along,
It felt pretty good. Woo you really had a good time.

Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll

Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll
Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock n’ roll

(Frank-n-Furter attacks Eddie with an alpinists pick)

Frank-n-Furter: One from the vaults. (Chuckles)

Rocky: ugh…

Frank-n-Furter: (Opens door) Oh baby…
Don’t be upset…it was a mercy killing…
He had a certain naïve charm but no muscle

Frank-n-Furter: …Oh!

I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN: REPRISE

Frank-n-Furter: But a deltoid and a bicep
A hot groin and a tricep.
Makes me want to, ooh, shake
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the…
…ha-ha-hand.

Frank-n-Furter &
Transylvanians: In just seven days
I can make you a man
Frank-n-Furter: I don’t want no distension,
Just dynamic tension.

Janet: I’m a muscle fan.

Frank-n-Furter: In just seven days
I can make you a man.
Dig it if you can,
In just seven days
I can make you a man.

(Frank-n-Furter and Rocky’s wedding march)

Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Narrator: There are some who say life is an illusion
And that reality is simply a figment of the imagination…
however, the sudden departure or their host…and his creation…into the seclusion of his sombre bridal suite and left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy, a feeling which grew
as the other guests departed, and they were show to their separate rooms.

(Janet and Brad are show to their separate rooms by Riff Raff and Magenta)

(Janet enters the room)

(Brad enters room)

(There is a knock on Brads door)

Janet: Uhh! Who is it? Who’s there?

Frank-n-Furter: It’s only me Janet
(As Brad)

Janet: Oh, Brad darling, come in.
Oh, Brad, Oh Brad. Yes my darling…but what if…

Frank-n-Furter: It’s all right Janet, everything’s going to be alright
(As Brad)

Janet: Oh, I hope so, my darling. Oh…ah…aah OOH! Oh it’s you!

(Franks wig is removed, revealing that it is not Brad but Frank)

Frank-n-Furter: I’m afraid so Janet, but isn’t it nice
Janet: Oh, you beast, you monster…oh what have you done with Brad?

Frank-n-Furter: Oh, well nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Janet: You tricked…I wouldn’t have…I’ve never…never…

Frank-n-Furter: Yes, yes I know, but it isn’t all bad, is it? (As Brad)
I think you really found it quite pleasurable

Janet: Oh, stop…I mean help…Brad, Brad!…Oh Brad!!!

Frank-n-Furter: Shh. Brad’s probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see
you like this!

Janet: Like this, like how? Oh, it’s your fault…you’re to blame
Oh…I was saving myself…

Frank-n-Furter: yes, but I’m sure you’re not spent yet…

Janet: Promise you won’t tell Brad?

Frank-n-Furter: cross my heart and hope to die

(assorted sexual noises)

(Riff Raff scares Rocky with the candelabra, Rocky runs away)

(Riff Raff throws candle)

Frank-n-Furter: Oh, Brad darling, it’s no good here. It’ll destroy us. (As Janet)

Brad: Don’t worry Janet, we’ll be away from here in the morning.

Frank-n-Furter: Oh, Brad you’re so strong and protective.

Brad: (Pulls off wig) ah, ah, ah, oh you!

(Brad realises its Frank-n-Furter)

Frank-n-Furter: I’m afraid so Brad, but isn’t it nice…


Brad: Why YOU! What have you done with Janet?

Frank-n-Furter: Nothing why do you think I should?

Brad: You tricked me, I wouldn’t have…never never…never

Frank-n-Furter: Oh yes, yes, I know…but it isn’t all bad, is it? Not even half bad,
I think you really quite enjoyed it.

(Brad starts moaning)

Frank-n-Furter: Oh…So soft…

Brad: Stop it…stop it…oh Janet…JANET!

Frank-n-Furter: Janet’s probably asleep by now. Do you want her to see you LIKE THIS

Brad: Like this, like how? It’s your fault, your to blame, I thought it was the real thing

Frank-n-Furter: Oh come on Brad, admit it you liked it didn’t you?
It isn’t a crime giving yourself over to pleasure, Brad.
We’ve wasted so much time already. Janet needn’t know,
I wont tell her.

Brad: Well, promise you won’t tell…

Frank-n-Furter: on my mothers graoouuuuu

(Beep beep beep, communicator alert)

Riff Raff: Master Rocky has broken his chains and vanished.
Your new play mate is loose and somewhere in the castle grounds…
Magenta has just released the dogs (Echo “Her Sisters”)

Frank-n-Furter: Mmm? Coming

Janet: What’s happening here where’s Brad
Where’s anybody

Janet: Oh Brad. Brad my darling, how could I have done this to you?

If only we hadn’t made this journey

If only the car hadn’t broken down

If only we were amongst friends…or sane persons
Oh Brad, oh Brad, what have they done with him…

(She sees him in the TV monitor with Frank-n-Furter)

Janet: Oh, Brad, Oh Brad…how could you

(Janet fondles lever)

(Rocky emits moans and general cries of pain)

Janet: Oh, but you’re hurt…did they do this to you?
I’ll dress your wounds baby there…

(Janet rips her skirt to make a bandage to dress Rocky’s wounds)

Janet: let me make it all better.

Narrator: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind…vehement or excited state
it is also a powerful and irrational master… and from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on the television monitor there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed,… it’s slave.

Magenta & Columbia: Tell us about it Janet.



TOUCH-A, TOUCH-A, TOUCH ME

Janet: I was feeling done in,
Couldn’t win, I’d only ever kissed before.

Columbia: You mean she…

Magenta: Uh huh.

Janet: I thought there’s no use getting
Into heavy petting.
It only leads to trouble, and seat wetting
Now all I wan to know is how to go,
I’ve tasted blood and I want more.

Magenta & Columbia: more, more more

Janet: I’ll put up no resistance
I want to stay the distance
I’ve got an itch to scratch
I need assistance.


Chorus:

Touch-a, Touch-a, touch-a, touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Janet: Then if anything grows
While you pose
I’ll oil you up and rub you down.

Magenta & Columbia: Down, down, down


Janet: And that’s just one small fraction,
Of the main attraction
You need a friendly hand and I need action

Chorus:

Touch-a, Touch-a, touch-a- touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Columbia: Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me

Magenta: I want to be dirty

Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me!

Magenta: Creature of the night

Janet: Chorus:

Touch-a, Touch-a, touch-a- touch me
I want to be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night.

Brad: Creature of the night?

Frank-n-Furter: Creature of the night

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Riff Raff: Creature of the night.

Columbia: Creature of the night (Scream!)

Rocky: Creature of the night.

Janet: Creature of the night.


(Frank-n-Furter, Brad and Riff Raff come down and exit elevator)

Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwww! MERCY!

Frank-n-Furter: How did it happen?
I understand you we to be watching…

Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute… Master

Frank-n-Furter: Well see if you can find him on a monitor

Riff Raff: Master, master…we have a visitor

Brad: Hey, Scotty
Dr Everett Scott.

Riff Raff: You know this earthling?…. This person?

Brad: Why yes, he happens to be an old friend of mine.

Frank-n-Furter: I see, so this wasn’t simply a chance meeting.
You came here with a purpose

Brad: I told you, my car broke down. I was telling the truth.

Frank-n-Furter: I know what you told me Brad…but his Dr Everett Scott
His name is not unknown to me.

Brad: He was a science teacher at Denton high school

Frank-n-Furter: And now he works for your government, doesn’t he Brad?
He’s attached to the bureau of investigation of that, which you call
UFO’S isn’t that right, Brad?

Brad: He might be…I don’t know.

Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, master.

Frank-n-Furter: He’ll probably be… entering the Zen room.

Frank-n-Furter: Shall we inquire of him in person?

(Pause)

Brad: Great Scott

Dr Scott: Frankenfurter, we meet at last

Brad: Dr Scott! (Puts out his hand)

Dr Scott: Brad! What are you doing here?

Frank-n-Furter: don’t play games Dr Scott, you know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here, it was part of your plan was it not, that he and his female could check out the layout for you.
Well unfortunately for you all the plans are to be changed
you must be adaptable Dr Scott I know Brad is.

Dr Scott: I can assure you that Brad’s presence here comes as a complete surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie.

Brad: Eddie! I’ve seen him

Frank-n-Furter: Eddie! What do you know of Eddie, Dr Scott?

Dr Scott: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things, you see Eddie happens to be my nephew.

(Frank-n-Furter gasps and releases the magnet, Dr Scott Rolls back a couple of feet, and Janet gasps)

(Echo)

Brad: Dr Scott!

Janet: Ah!

Dr Scott: Janet!

Janet: Dr Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank-n-Furter: Rocky!

Dr Scott: Janet!

Janet: Dr Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank-n-Furter: Rocky!

Dr Scott: Janet!

Janet: Dr Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Frank-n-Furter: (To Rocky) Listen…I made you…and I can break you just as easily

Magenta: Master, dinner is prepared

Frank-n-Furter: Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional.

Narrator: Food has always played a vital role in life’s rituals.
The breaking of bread, the last meal of the condemned man, and now… this meal. However informal it might appear, you could be sure that there was to be little bonhomie.

(Riff Raff and Magenta wheel in a cart)

(Riff Raff and Magenta place a large piece of meat in front of
Frank-n-Furter, he carves the meat)

(Riff Raff serves the meat to the others)

(Riff Raff pours and spills wine before this)

Frank-n-Furter: A toast …to absent friends…

All: To absent friends.

Frank-n-Furter: And to Rocky. (Puts on party hat)

(Frank-n-Furter starts a verse of the staccato “Happy Birthday Rocky” and cuts off after Dear Rocky, Janet continues until she realises that she is the only one left singing)

Frank-n-Furter: Shall we?

Dr Scott: We came here to discuss Eddie.

Columbia: Eddie!

Frank-n-Furter: That’s a rather tender subject.
Another slice anyone?

Columbia: Excuse me. (She exits room, closes the door and screams)

Dr Scott: (To camera) I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined…Aliens!

Rocky: Ugh

Brad: Doctor Scott!

Frank-n-Furter: Go on, Dr Scott or should I say
DR VON SCOTT.

Brad: Just exactly what are you implying?

Dr Scott: It’s all right

Brad; Dr Scott!

Dr Scott: it’s alright, Brad.



EDDIE

Dr Scott: From the day he was born,
He was trouble
He was the thorn
In his mother’s side.
She tried in vain…

Narrator: But he never caused her nothing but shame.

Dr Scott: He left home the day she died
From the day she was gone, all he wanted
Was rock-n-roll porn
And a motorbike….Shooting up junks

Narrator: He was a low down cheap little punk

Dr Scott: Taking everyone for a ride.

All: When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy
You knew he was a no good kid,
But when he threatened your life with a switch blade knife

Frank-n-Furter: What a guy

Janet: Makes you cry

Dr Scott: Und I did.

Columbia: Everybody shoved him
I very nearly loved him
I said hey listen to me
Columbia: Stay sane inside insanity
But he locked the door and threw away the key.

Dr Scott: But he must have been drawn
Into Something
Making him warn
Me in a note that reads…

All: What’s it say? What’s it say

Eddie’s Voice: I’m out of my head
Oh, hurry or I may be dead
They mustn’t carry out their evil dead (Scream)

All: When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy
You knew he was a no good kid,
But when he threatened your life with a switch blade knife

Frank-n-Furter: What a guy

Janet: Makes you cry

Dr Scott: Und I did.

All: When Eddie said he didn’t like his teddy
You knew he was a no good kid,
But when he threatened your life with a switch blade knife

Frank-n-Furter: What a guy

All: Oh, Oh, Oh

Janet: Makes you cry

All: Hey, Hey, Hey

Dr Scott: Und I did.

(Frank-n-Furter pulls the table cloth away from the table)

Frank-n-Furter: Rocky! How could you. (He slaps Janet)

Dr Scott: (To Brad, who is guiding his wheelchair) This way, this way.

(General mayhem as Frank-n-Furter chases Janet. Riff Raff and Magenta Laughs until Riff Raff suddenly say ‘shut up’)

Riff Raff: Shut Up!



PLANET SCHMANET

Frank-n-Furter: I’ll tell you once, I wont tell you twice,
You’d better wise up Janet Weiss.
Your apple pie don’t taste too nice.
You’d better wise up Janet Weiss.

I’ve laid the seed; it should be all you need.
You’re as sensual as a pencil;
Wound up like an E or first string.
When we made it, did you hear a bell ring?

You gotta block? Well take my advice
You’d better wise up Janet Weiss.
The transducer will seduce ya.

Janet: My feet! I can’t move my feet!

Dr Scott: My wheels, my god I can’t move my wheels

Brad: It’s as if we’re glued to the spot.

Frank-n-Furter: You are so quake with fear you tiny fools!

Janet: We’re trapped

Frank-n-Furter: (Sung) It’s something you’ll get used to, a mental mind fuck can be nice.

Dr Scott: You won’t find earth people quite the easy mark you imagine.
This sonic transducer…it is I suppose, some kind of audio vibratory physio molecular device?

Brad: You mean…

Dr Scott: Yes Brad, it’s something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. But it seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it. A device capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space, and who knows perhaps even time itself
Janet: You mean he’s gonna send us to another planet?

Frank-n-Furter: Planet, Schmanet, Janet!
You’d better wise up, Janet Weiss You better wise up, build your thighs up,
You better wise up…

Narrator: And then she cried out…

Janet: STOP!
Frank-n-Furter: Don’t get hot and flustered!
Use a bit of mustard.

Brad: You’re a hotdog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.

(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labelled MEDUSA, and Brad turns into stone)

Dr Scott: You’re a hotdog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter

(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labelled MEDUSA, and Dr Scott turns into stone)

Janet: You’re a hot dog…

(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labelled MEDUSA, and Janet turns into stone)

Columbia: My God!
I can’t stand any more of this
First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky!
You chew people up and then you spit them out again…

I loved you, d’you hear me! I loved you and what did it get me?
Yeah, I’ll tell ya, a big fat nothing.
You’re like a sponge, you take, take, take and drain others of their love and emotion.
Yeah, well I’ve had enough! You’re gonna choose between Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head and me.

(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labelled MEDUSA and Columbia is turned to stone)

Frank-n-Furter: It’s not easy having a good time…

(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labelled MEDUSA and Rocky is turned to stone)

Frank-n-Furter: Even smiling makes my face ache…and then my children turn on me
Rocky’s behaving just the way Eddie did.
Do you think I made a mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them.

(Magenta walks over to where Frank-n-Furter is, Riff Raff follows)

Magenta: aah! I grow weary of this world! When shall we return to Transylvania, huh?

Frank-n-Furter: Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother Riff Raff, you have both served me well, loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded, you will discover that when the mood takes me I can be quite generous.

Magenta: I ask for nothing… master.

Frank-n-Furter: And you shall receive it…in abundance Come! We are ready for the floor show.
Narrator: And so, by some extraordinary coincidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment with their friend Dr Everett Scott. But it was to be in a situation which none of them could have possibly foreseen. And a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted… forbidden fruit. This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals… And some persuasion, what further indignities were they to be subjected to? And what of the floor show that had been spoken of. In an empty house, in the middle of the night.
What diabolical plan had seized Frank’s crazed imagination?
What indeed? From what had gone before, it was clear that this was to be…no picnic


FLOOR SHOW

A: ROSE TINT MY WORLD

Columbia: It was great when it all began, I was a regular Frankie fan,
But it was over when he had the plan,
to start a working on a muscle man
Now the only thing that gives me hope
Is my love of a certain dope,
Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

(Unfreeze Rocky)

Rocky: I’m just seven hours old, and truly beautiful to behold
And somebody should be told, my libido hasn’t been controlled.
Now the only thing I’ve come to trust is an orgasmic rush of lust.
Rose tints my world keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

(Unfreeze Brad)

Brad: It’s beyond me; Help me mommy! I’ll be good you’ll see, take this dream away. What’s this lets see, I feel sexy, what’s come over me whoa! Here it comes again.

(Unfreeze Janet)

Janet: I feel released Bad times deceased.
My confidence has increased, reality is here.
The game has been disbanded, my mind has been expanded, it’s a gas that Frankie’s landed!
His lust is so sincere.

(Janet kisses the air)


B: FANFARE / DON’T DRAEM IT

Frank-n-Furter: What ever happened to Fay Wray
That delicate, satin draped frame.
As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry
‘Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure,
Swim the warm waters, of sins of the flesh.
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure,
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
Can’t you just see it, Oh, oh, oh

Frank-n-Furter: Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it

All: Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it (De-Medusa handle falls and Dr Scott is Unfrozen)
Don’t dream it, be it
Don’t dream it, be it


Dr Scott: Ach! we’ve go to get out of this trap
before this decadence saps our wills.
I’ve got to be strong and try to hang on or else my mind
may well snap! and my life will be lived, for the thrills!

Brad: It’s beyond me;
Help me mommy

Janet: God bless, Lily St Cyr



C: WILD AND UNTAMED THING

Frank-n-Furter: My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my…my
I’m a wild and an untamed thing,
I’m a bee with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping,
Your heart’ll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on,
We’re gonna shake it ‘till the life has gone.
Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

All: We’re a wild and an untamed thing,
We’re a bee with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping,
Your heart’ll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on,
We’re gonna shake it ‘till the life has gone.
Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

We’re a wild and an untamed thing,
We’re a bee with a deadly sting.
You get a hit and your mind goes ping,
Your heart’ll thump and your blood will sing.
So let the party and the sounds rock on,
We’re gonna shake it ‘till the life has gone, gone, gone.
Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.

(Riff Raff and Magenta enter from the rear wearing silver space outfits)

Riff Raff: Frank-n-Furter, it’s all over,
Your mission is a failure.
Your lifestyle’s too extreme,
I’m your new commander;
You now are my prisoner.
We return to Transylvania,
Prepare the transit beam.

Frank-n-Furter: Wait! I can explain.

Frank-n-Furter goes and speaks to Columbia, who goes and turns on the spotlight, and to Rocky who goes and turns on the stage lights)



I’M GOING HOME

Frank-n-Furter: On the day I went away…

All: Good-bye…

Frank-n-Furter: Was all I had to say…

All: Now I …

Frank-n-Furter: I want to come again and stay

All: Oh, my, my…

Frank-n-Furter: Smile and that will mean I may.
‘cause I’ve seen blue skies, through the tears in my eyes

(Magenta yawns with disinterest)

Frank-n-Furter: And I realise, I’m going home.

All: I’m going home.

Frank-n-Furter: Everywhere
It’s been the same.

All: Feeling…

Frank-n-Furter: Like I’m outside in the rain…

All: Wheeling…

Frank-n-Furter: Free to try and find a game…

All: Dealing…

Frank-n-Furter: …cards for sorrow, cards for pain
Cause I’ve seen, oh, blue skies through the tears in my eyes, and I realise, I’m going home.


Frank-n-Furter &: I’m going home
All I’m going home
I’m going home.

(Applause from the imaginary audience)

Magenta: How sentimental.

(Frank-n-Furter turns around and sees the house is empty)

Riff Raff: And also presumptuous of you, you see when I said we were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself, I’m sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see, you are to remain here… in spirit anyway.

Dr Scott: Great heavens! That’s a laser!

Riff Raff: Yes, Dr Scott, a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter

Brad: You mean you’re going to kill him? What’s his crime?

Dr Scott: You saw what became of Eddie, society must be protected.

Riff Raff: Exactly Dr Scott, and now Frank-n-Furter, your time has come.
Say goodbye to all of this, and hello to oblivion

(Columbia screams, and gets zapped and instantly dies)

(Frank-n-Furter cowers away, and tries to escape by climbing a curtain and gets zapped and also dies instantly)

(Rocky moans over Frank-n-Furter’s death, and falls over onto Frank-n-Furter’s body)

(Rocky picks up Frank-n-Furter and begins to climb the plastic prop tower, gets a zap, then another, and another and then totally zapped, both Rocky and Frank-n-Furter fall into the pool below the tower and Rocky falls to his death)

Brad: Good God!

Riff Raff: Yes

Janet: Oh, you killed them!

Magenta: But I thought you liked them, they liked you.

Riff Raff: He didn’t like me he never liked me

Dr Scott: You did right

Riff Raff: A decision had to be made.

Dr Scott: You’re ok by me (Holds out his hand as to shake it with Riff Raff)

Riff Raff: Dr Scott, I’m sorry about your nephew.

Dr Scott: Eddie? Well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh, heh, heh.

Riff Raff: you should leave now, Dr Scott while it is still possible, we are about to beam the entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania, go…Now.
(Brad and Janet wheel Dr Scott out of the house)

Riff Raff: (To Magenta) our mission is completed, my most beautiful sister,
And soon we shall return to the moon drenched shores or our beloved planet.

Magenta: Ah…sweet Transsexual, land of night…to sing and dance once more to your dark refrain, to take that…step to the right!

Riff Raff & Magenta: HA!

Riff Raff: But it’s the pelvic thrust!
(Flashback to Time Warp sequence)

All: That really drives you insaaaane.

Magenta: And our world will do the Time Warp again!


(Brad and Janet are carrying Dr Scott out of the house, and the house takes off)


SUPER HEROES

(Brad and Janet are now crawling around on the ground outside where the castle once stood, they are surrounded by mist.

Brad: I’ve done a lot, god knows I’ve tried
To find the truth, I’ve even lied.
But all I know is down inside I’m…

All: Bleeding…

Janet: And super heroes come to feast,
to taste the flesh not yet deceased
and all I know is still the beast is…

All: feeding…

(Scene starts to spin, and fades into a spinning globe, which the Narrator Stops)

Narrator: And crawling on the planets face
some insects, called the human race.
Lost in time
Lost in space
And meaning.
All: Meaning


SCIENCE FICTION / DOUBLE FEATURE: REPRISE

Sung by
Usherette: Science fiction,
(Lips) Double feature.
Frank has built and
Lost his creature
Darkness has conquered
Brad and Janet
The servants gone to
A distant planet
Wo, oh, oh, oh
At the late night, double feature
Picture show
I want to go, oh, oh, oh
To the late night, double feature
Picture show








THE END.