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Spyz 720p Movies
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This is a short film made by the people who make Ali G. They used it as a pilot for Ali G to try and sell to some Hollywood producers he had had meetings with on Ali G in da USAiii. It was later released on the series 1 DVD for Ali G in da USAiii. Ali G plays the character of James Bond as he gets into a series of pointless gun battles and sex scenes.
In his US version of his TV show Ali G had an episode where he visited loads of Top Brass in the TV business. As a joke he created a pilot episode of a show called 'Spyz' in which he played...wait for it...James Bond.
But this is not the James Bond we know of. Instead it's a horribly low-budget amateur film with all the sophistication of something slapped together on a high school editing suite complete with a tawdry urban/industrial soundtrack that actually gets a bit infectious. It's so deliberately awful that you'll wet yourself .The film begins with Ali G/Bond strolling, rather unrealistically, through some sort of common ground when he is ambushed by a bunch of anonymous thugs. The ensuing fight is terribly choreographed and looks even faker than a toy-fight, playground wrestling match. The one thug Ali G/Bond doesn't kill happens to a lady (Isla Fisher) and they end up making spontaneous 'love' against the nearest tree.
Before Ali G/Bond is finished he receives an important phone-call about a bomb in a 'nucular plant' and rushes off home to get his Uzi (which he keeps on top of a cupboard in the kitchen).
At home his wife moans at him that he spends more time saving the world than their marriage and that he better not miss 'little Jonathan's birthday baseball match' later on that night. Ali G/Bond's response is no more than 'f*ck off'.
Once he has found the 'bomb' (which is nothing more than a couple of wires wrapped around a battery in a small plastic toolbox) and disarms it he is once again ambushed by more anonymous heavies. The gun battle involves them not actually firing at each other but instead pointing their weapons and making the sound effects themselves. Ali G/Bond manages to kill them all but none of the impacts on the body are actually seen. Instead, once they are already dead we see close-ups of their 'wounds' which are made up of strawberry syrup being poured onto their bodies and oozing out of their mouths.
Now Ali G/Bond goes back to the lady spy's house and makes more misogynistic love to her, her pal and her pal's pal. It's a horribly superfluous scene, but it's supposed to be. It ends up being a bit hard to watch and you'll be seriously embarrassed if your parents or grandparents are there watching with you.
The film ends with Ali G/Bond actually making it to little Jonathan's birthday baseball match (though he is now cryptically referred to as 'little Tommy') and taking loads of pleasure in proving his wife wrong. He does his own version of walking off into the sunset, complete with that unrealistic swagger, as the film fades out.
Back in the offices of the TV Top Brass, all of these clueless, uptight phonies reacted to it with utter contempt. Which is understandable if you're an average guy on the street, but these dudes should KNOW when someone is pulling their leg.
'Spyz' is obviously, deliberately a spoof. It's far to simple-minded and could only ever take place in a sexist male fantasy world. But...is this really THAT different from movies and TV today? Is it really? Sacha Baron Cohen keeps an impossibly straight face throughout. So maybe this is how the dunder-headed execs thought he was being serious. If so, it proves once again that he can always expose people for the fakes and charlatans that they are. A cruel idea of humor it may well be, but phonies always end up exposing themselves and Sacha only helps them along.
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