March
April 2009
chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
UBER !!!!!!1
ONE SHOT PÅ SPAWN!!!!!! <3333333
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0&feature=related
A handicap spot sign doesn't mean it belongs to handicapped people. The parking spot belongs to Chuck Norris, and the sign is a warning of what will happen to you if you steal his spot!
fick denna äntligen idag <333 fnatic ftw
On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Unbeknownst to the modern world, the Triforce actually exists. Unlike The Legend of Zelda, however, the pieces of the Triforce are named the Triforce of Vin Diesel, the Triforce of Mr. T, and the Trif
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can'
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