The Rabbi was teaching, the way he did, when a lawyer got up and started heckling, trying to set him up with a trick question. "So, you can tell me how to live forever, right?"

The Rabbi, as was his habit, answered the question with a question. "You know the Law, don't you? What does it say?"

That was an easy one. "To love God with everything you are, and love your neighbor like you love yourself."

And the Rabbi says "well then, I guess that's what you have to do."

But the lawyer isn't done. He figures he's still got a chance at tripping the Rabbi up some. He's got a follow-up question ready. "Okay, but how do I know who my neighbor

Okay, answering with a question didn't work, which means it's time to answer with a story. The Rabbi was good at telling stories.

"Listen," he says. "A man's going on a road trip, and he gets carjacked. Some guys drag him out onto the curb, bounce his head off it a few times, take his wallet, his nice new jacket, his expensive shoes, and they roll off in his car. So now he's lying there, blood all over the place, unconscious, half-stripped, right out in the street.

"A priest comes by. Takes one look at the man in the street, at the blood, and thinks to himself 'man, I don't want no part of that,' and he slides on over to the other side of the street. He walks

"A monk comes along a little later, walking down the sidewalk. Shaved head, robe, the whole thing. But then he sees this man, slumped in the gutter, no shoes, hair matted with blood...a mess, right? And he says to himself 'no, I can't get involved. Probably I'll call the cops once I can get to a phone.'

"But then this guy pulls up on a massive Harley. Huuuuuge, leather-covered mo-fo, tattoos going from his massive boots to his coal-scuttle helmet, and he stops at the light to take a swig from his flask, and he sees this beat-up guy on the street. And what he does is, he gets off the bike, takes the guy, rinses the blood off him, uses the 200-proof moonshine in his flask to wash the cuts out, wraps him up in his own jacket. He takes him to the nearest clinic and says 'hey, fix this guy up. You need any money or shit like that, I'm good for it.'

"So," the Rabbi says, "which one of these people is the neighbor of the guy who got robbed?"

"Well, uh, the biker, right?"

"There you go. So get out of my face, and start acting like that."

Annons

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May 2014