September
Sunday 3 February 2013 photo 8/8
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“Aw no… poor thing", Jake said, feeling sorry for him for real. Set just shrugged.
“I was too young to get hurt feelings anyway", he said with a little smile. Then he turned serious again, thoughtfully biting his lip before he spoke. “I guess my role as the Hargreaves’ son adds up to the fact that I’ve never had anyone. It would be catastrophic if it came out that I had a boyfriend, which is why I never even hoped that I would have anyone. And… I guess other people saw the same family-based problem. So, if there ever was someone who wanted me, I guess they didn’t dare to ask me out."
“That’s sad", Jake sighed. “Love is love. People shouldn’t be judged by who they have feelings for."
“Exactly", Set said with a small voice.
“I’ve… been with far too many, I guess." Jake scratched his neck once more. He felt ashamed mentioning it, when Set never even had got the chance to kiss anyone. “I guess I am, was, a slut."
“Please don’t call yourself that…"
“Mm… I don’t… do that anymore, though." Jake sighed heavily. The habit of going out, drinking, taking or following a stranger home, had been a part of his destructive period, when he’d stopped caring about everything and nothing. He tried to see it as a closed chapter now.
“That’s good." Set smiled softly. Jake smiled back.
“Yeah. It is." He frowned a little, bitterly. “It was stupid. Nothing I’m proud over, at all. I felt like shit and I didn’t handle it the right way. I don’t know if it’s because of that, or if it always has been this way, but… I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Hell, maybe I’m not capable of falling in love at all."
“I’m sorry…" Set said quietly.
“Thanks. I just don’t know… But maybe it’s all about time. We’ll see." Jake shrugged.
It was quiet for a while. Jake felt relief over Set taking the ‘bad news about Jake’ in such a good way.
Set let out a quiet sigh.
“If I just could say one more thing about my parents…" he said in a troubled voice.
“Of course."
“It’s that… I guess it would have been easier if they threw me out of the house, when I told them. Instead of half-heartedly pretending that they love me for who I am." Set smiled, a little, sad smile.
Instead of saying anything Jake put an arm around his shoulders, hugged him like that. Not too intimate, in case of it becoming awkward, but still showing that he cared.
After that they talked even more. Set told Jake more specifically about the bullying he’d been through in school, since he’d only mentioned it briefly before. When they already had sunk into such deep subjects, Jake decided to tell Set about his suicide attempt in December, last year. He told him about the depression, the suffocating feeling of being useless, and what had made him cross the border to try the last resort, suicide. He told him about the mental hospital and about the psychologist he had to go see every week, all the way to September this year.
Set had been on the verge of tears at the end of his story.
Jake tried to comfort him by saying that now, almost a year after the attempt, he was glad he failed. Even though he’d been depressed and lost energy and want, it had slowly turned to the better. A bit embarrassed, he had confessed that it had become even better after they’d started to hang out. To his surprise, Set blushed at his words.
Now, the sky was all black, aside from the small, glittering lights of the stars.
They were standing outside the Hargreaves’ manor with scarves tucked around their necks and cheeks pink from the cold winter air. Jake had insisted to follow Set home, instead of letting him walk alone. They had talked much all the other times they’d met, but never as much as today, and never before about such important things. It felt odd, but good.
Both of them now seemed to have trouble saying goodbye.
“When can we meet next time?" Set was the first to ask.
“I’m free almost all the time", Jake said. “Monday?"
“I think I’m busy…"
“Ah. Tuesday then?"
“I… um, maybe I can send you a text when I’m free?" Set asked. He seemed embarrassed, as always, for being busy.
“Sounds great", Jake smiled.
“Okay. I should go in, before…" Set’s voice faded out before he completed the sentence. Jake nodded in silence.
He knew that it would be for the better, before Set’s mom called, either angry or worried. But… he didn’t want to let him go. Not just yet.
Set opened his mouth to say something, probably goodbye, but no words came out. Slowly he closed it again, and smiled a little, silly smile. For a moment they only looked at each other.
Jake didn’t know what to do with the growing, almost aching, feeling in his chest. Set’s face in this soft light, his lips. Jake had to swallow. He could admit he’d been watching him in a way he shouldn’t have. He could also admit he felt so much more for this boy than he’d ever thought was possible. He’d felt that way for quite a long time now.
Set’s eyes… Deep brown, beautiful ones. They made things with his mind. Things he should suppress because he knew so well that they were forbidden.
Still, he couldn’t care less.
Jake leaned down, so close that he could hear the small, shaking breath Set took, before their lips met. His lips were as soft as he’d imagined them to be. And he tasted sweet, like candy.
A mitten-covered hand took a hold of Jakes upper arm and Jake smiled into the kiss, knowing he had done the right thing, after all.
Set’s cheeks wore a shade of bright pink when Jake leaned back again. Set looked so happy, eyes shining, with a confused but bright smile on his lips.
“You said you were incapable of falling in love..?" Set said quietly, wondering, his big eyes looking at on Jake. Almost as if he was afraid this was some kind of joke. Jake answered his wondering look with a smile.
“I was lying, obviously", he said.
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© fukurouchan
Ni vet vad ni ska göra :3
“I was too young to get hurt feelings anyway", he said with a little smile. Then he turned serious again, thoughtfully biting his lip before he spoke. “I guess my role as the Hargreaves’ son adds up to the fact that I’ve never had anyone. It would be catastrophic if it came out that I had a boyfriend, which is why I never even hoped that I would have anyone. And… I guess other people saw the same family-based problem. So, if there ever was someone who wanted me, I guess they didn’t dare to ask me out."
“That’s sad", Jake sighed. “Love is love. People shouldn’t be judged by who they have feelings for."
“Exactly", Set said with a small voice.
“I’ve… been with far too many, I guess." Jake scratched his neck once more. He felt ashamed mentioning it, when Set never even had got the chance to kiss anyone. “I guess I am, was, a slut."
“Please don’t call yourself that…"
“Mm… I don’t… do that anymore, though." Jake sighed heavily. The habit of going out, drinking, taking or following a stranger home, had been a part of his destructive period, when he’d stopped caring about everything and nothing. He tried to see it as a closed chapter now.
“That’s good." Set smiled softly. Jake smiled back.
“Yeah. It is." He frowned a little, bitterly. “It was stupid. Nothing I’m proud over, at all. I felt like shit and I didn’t handle it the right way. I don’t know if it’s because of that, or if it always has been this way, but… I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Hell, maybe I’m not capable of falling in love at all."
“I’m sorry…" Set said quietly.
“Thanks. I just don’t know… But maybe it’s all about time. We’ll see." Jake shrugged.
It was quiet for a while. Jake felt relief over Set taking the ‘bad news about Jake’ in such a good way.
Set let out a quiet sigh.
“If I just could say one more thing about my parents…" he said in a troubled voice.
“Of course."
“It’s that… I guess it would have been easier if they threw me out of the house, when I told them. Instead of half-heartedly pretending that they love me for who I am." Set smiled, a little, sad smile.
Instead of saying anything Jake put an arm around his shoulders, hugged him like that. Not too intimate, in case of it becoming awkward, but still showing that he cared.
Set had been on the verge of tears at the end of his story.
Jake tried to comfort him by saying that now, almost a year after the attempt, he was glad he failed. Even though he’d been depressed and lost energy and want, it had slowly turned to the better. A bit embarrassed, he had confessed that it had become even better after they’d started to hang out. To his surprise, Set blushed at his words.
Both of them now seemed to have trouble saying goodbye.
“When can we meet next time?" Set was the first to ask.
“I think I’m busy…"
“Ah. Tuesday then?"
“I… um, maybe I can send you a text when I’m free?" Set asked. He seemed embarrassed, as always, for being busy.
“Sounds great", Jake smiled.
“Okay. I should go in, before…" Set’s voice faded out before he completed the sentence. Jake nodded in silence.
He knew that it would be for the better, before Set’s mom called, either angry or worried. But… he didn’t want to let him go. Not just yet.
Jake didn’t know what to do with the growing, almost aching, feeling in his chest. Set’s face in this soft light, his lips. Jake had to swallow. He could admit he’d been watching him in a way he shouldn’t have. He could also admit he felt so much more for this boy than he’d ever thought was possible. He’d felt that way for quite a long time now.
Set’s eyes… Deep brown, beautiful ones. They made things with his mind. Things he should suppress because he knew so well that they were forbidden.
Still, he couldn’t care less.
Jake leaned down, so close that he could hear the small, shaking breath Set took, before their lips met. His lips were as soft as he’d imagined them to be. And he tasted sweet, like candy.
A mitten-covered hand took a hold of Jakes upper arm and Jake smiled into the kiss, knowing he had done the right thing, after all.
“I was lying, obviously", he said.
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Ni vet vad ni ska göra :3
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Camera info
Camera NIKON D3100
Focal length 28 mm
Aperture f/4.5
Shutter 1/320 s
ISO 1100
Anonymous
Sun 3 Feb 2013 22:33
*fangirlaöverdem*
Så fina är de, uh. <3 *dörlite*
Så fina är de, uh. <3 *dörlite*
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