June
Wednesday 2 April 2008 photo 1/1
![Citat från Weeds:
Andy Botwin:
[to Shane about masturbation]
Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha
ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem
now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted
sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of
business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works
plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy,
what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?"
Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the
shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But,
the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5
showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So let's start
with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that
Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin
and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch. From
there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially,
bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your
Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the
peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil,
moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can
all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save
your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you
tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In
bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that
you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as
polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it
enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your
control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long,
happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed. [Shane gets up to walk away] Andy Botwin:
Hey! [tosses Shane a banana] Andy Botwin:
. Homework.](http://cdn08.dayviews.com/21/_u1/_u4/_u2/_u7/_u0/u142708/52355_1207158231/Citat_fran_Weeds_Andy_Botwin_to_Shane_about_masturbation_Alright_listen_closely_I_m_not_going_to.jpg)
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Citat från Weeds:
Andy Botwin:
[to Shane about masturbation]
Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha
ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem
now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted
sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of
business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works
plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy,
what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?"
Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the
shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But,
the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5
showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So let's start
with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that
Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin
and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch. From
there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially,
bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your
Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the
peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil,
moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can
all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save
your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you
tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In
bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that
you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as
polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it
enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your
control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long,
happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed.
[Shane gets up to walk away]
Andy Botwin:
Hey!
[tosses Shane a banana]
Andy Botwin:
. Homework.
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