Theodore Rex Sub Download

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In an alternate futuristic society, a tough female police detective is paired with a talking dinosaur to find the killer of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals leading them to a mad scientist bent on creating a new Armageddon.
In a future town a female police detective (Whoopi Goldberg) has to colaborate with Theodore Rex, a genetically generated Tyrannosaurus Rex, in order to investigate the murder of another dinosaure.
I don't know what to say about this film. Rumor has it that Whoopi Goldberg didn't actually want any part of it, finally accepted for $7 million. It's a horrific mess of a movie. It starts with an opening crawl and narration that tells us "Once upon a time in the future..." already it's losing me. "At midnight tomorrow..." Wait a minute. The future is midnight tomorrow? Or am ... whatever. It then tells us the plot of the film, even revealing the villain, which I think was supposed to be a twist, but we're told his entire plan. The film takes part in a world where Whoopi Goldberg is stitched into a skintight suit, Lord have mercy, and she is partnered with a Tyrannosaurus Rex to solve a murder. It isn't even assembled correctly. One action scene is edited with some exposition which have nothing to do with each other. Truly terrible cinema. Must be seen to be believed.
Ever since I started visiting this site, and voting for movies, I have never given any movie a rating of 1. Even the disturbing "Dance! Workout with Barbie" got a 2. There is a reason for this.

Any time I find myself watching what I think is a really bad movie, I have to stop and ask myself the following question: "Is this movie really as bad as the horrific soul-sucking beast that is 'Theodore Rex'?" And I've never been able to answer "yes".

I would give anything within reason to know what crackhead said "Hey! Let's remake 'Blade Runner' with Barney in the Harrison Ford Role!" and decided it was a good idea to actually spend the time and money to commit it to film. Furthermore, I want to know what the hell kind of market they were going to sell this towards if it hadn't gone strait to video. This is that rare monster: a movie that is way too violent for kids and way too insanely stupid for adults. I'd ask "what were they THINKING?" but in this case, it might actually be redundant.

Anyhow, all you need to know is that you should only expose yourself to this monstrosity if you're one of the five or six rabid fans of "Howard the Duck", or if you are curious to see the most Evil Insane movie of all time, or you want to REALLY punish yourself.

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September 2018