October
Wednesday 26 September 2012 photo 8/9
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"You want to kill yourself?
Imagine this;
You come home from school one day , it’s been the worst day possible and you’ve had enough. You’re done. So you go to your room and take the suicide note you’ve re-written over and over and over and lay it by you. Then you take your blades out, the light shines off of them and you cut through your wrist, the blood gushes out wanting to escape just as much as you do. You grab the bottle of pills and swallow all of them. Laying down, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later your little brother/sister wanders in to tell you ‘dinner is ready’. He think’s you’re sleeping, so he goes and gets your mother. She notices something odd. So she obverses you and soon notices the blood, then she realises you haven’t breathed. She tries to wake you, screaming, wanting her baby back. Your father runs in, and looks at you. Your motionless body. He leans down, tears stinging his cheeks and reads the small note that lay beside you. He drops the letter to the floor. He stands there, shaking. He begins to scream, he grabs something an smashes it against the wall and then he sinks to the floor, crying. Your mother crawls over to him and they sit there, holding each other. The next day at school, there is an announcement. The voice on the over head speaker tells everyone about your death, it takes a few minutes to sink in but once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were to hard on you. Those mean popular girls think of all the horrible things they said to you. That boy that teased you and called you names hates himself for not telling you how beautiful you are. Your ex? The one that broke your heart? The one you trusted with everything? He can’t handle it, he breaks down and cries. Your friends are sobbing too, they can’t believe they never knew they said ‘you seemed happy’ and they hate themselves for not asking if everything was okay and your Best friend? She’s in shock, she can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through but she never knew it was this bad, so bad it caused you to kill yourself. She can’t cry, she’s so numb. She leaves the class room and sinks to the floor and shakes but still no tears. It’s a few days later, and its your funeral. The whole town turned up, they all remember you as happy and bubbly, the one with the bright smile. The one that was there for everyone, but no one was ‘there’ for her. Lots of people discuss the memories they shared with you, they cry more now. Your little brother/sister still doesn’t know you committed suicide, he thinks you just died. It hurts him so much, this little boy cries himself too sleep every night when you were meant to read him his bedtime story. You were his big sister, you’re meant to always be there. Your best friend stays for the whole service. When they lower your casket into the ground, she loses it. She cries and cries for days.
It’s two years later and the whole school talks to the school therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their jobs. Those mean popular girls have eating disorders now. The boy that teased you cuts himself now. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore, and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all had depression. Your best friend tried to kill herself, but she didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried… Your little brother finally found out what happened to his big sister and he self harms, he still cries himself too sleep. He does exactly what you did for those years that lead up to your suicide. Your parents? They’re divorced now. Your dad is a workaholic, he keeps himself busy to distract himself from the hurt in his heart. Your mother is diagnosed with depression and just lies in bed, never moves.
People care. Don’t EVER think for one minute that they don’t.
Things can’t get better if you give up, i’m here for ANYONE and EVERYONE, please..don’t do it.
I love you all.."
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