Tuesday 21 April 2015 photo 1/2
|
Second day in our new house.
My mother and I have been decorating alot today. I don´t know how much she has done, but at least I´m done with my room.
I´m very happy about it.
Yes I like stuffed animals!
Oh and about the pills and beer bottles.
I had one moment in life some year ago, started taking some antidepressive medication just like my mother.
And sometimes I drink a beer or two so what?
I´m not that kind of girl that get so drunk she throws up on the floor and passes out.
I can drink sometimes, often when I´m sad. Mother dosen´t know, I don´t want her to know. She dosen´t need to know.
It´s not like I´m getting that drunk.
Maybe just gets a funny feeling, at least when I mix it with my pills.
It´s not good I know but I actually just don´t care.
It´s not like I´m depressed anymore and I don´t want to kill myself.
I get by, I survive on my own with my own ways even if it means when I´m sad that I drink a litte and swallows some pills.
My mother cant say a shit.
She is a smoker and swallovs all kind of medication. She take higher doses than recomended for her. And if she has a shitty day she often drink wine and passes out in the cough.
I wonder what father would say.
Aparently he left us for some hooker.
But I´m not sure, he looked so nice and innocent in the photos I secretly took from one of the boxes.
I´ve tried to find him I searched on the internet but nothing came up. It´s like he´s a ghost.
Ben Cooper.
My lost father.
I really want to see you.
I´m going to confront my mother.
Annons