Thursday 18 November 2010 photo 1/1
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Thursday 18 November 2010 photo 1/1
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I always plan to fall asleep as early as possible so I can enjoy the next day to it's fullest, as we're always taught to do from a young age. The same as we are taught to eat well, get a good job, a wife, kids etc. Yet somehow I always gravitate towards the dawn, it's not as if I try to stay awake I just forget. No matter how tired I may be I find myself continuously finding excuses to be awake for these short lived periods of time that everyone else so eagerly throws away. I don't think it's subconscious rebellion from the linear lifestyle we are all but forced into - but more of an appreciation of silence and at that - the dynamics of silence.
It's calming to know that as busy as this world is now (and that in time it will become even more so); that I can walk anywhere for miles and not have to see a single person if I do not wish to. It's almost like a whole other world that only the inebriated happen across occasionally, though never enjoying it to it's full potential. We all recognize without thought the different periods of day, morning, mid day, afternoon and evening but the majority of us will be asleep before we can begin to recognize the progression of night.
The only thing I can put this down to with any certainty, my reasons - would most likely arise from the fear of missing out on something. There isn't any anti social aspect as far as I see - it's not wrong to want to be alone or isolated. There is an infinite amount of things to experience in this world, to see, hear, feel, learn and learn from. I put it down to my mind being afraid of digressing from the goals I set out for myself to achieve before the day that I perish.
It's not as if there isn't enough time, well that's not true. There is so little time that it's frightening. A better way to put it would be to say our perception of the time we have on this Earth is skewed to the point of creating the illusion we have enough time to do anything we want. With the realization that we are ultimately screwed we have that bit extra motivation to achieve our goals, this doesn't mean to say we will achieve them but keeping your morale up is always good in small doses. Hope is a bad thing to become addicted to though and it's always the bad things in life that motivate us to do good things because the good things are only good in comparison to those that are bad, that's a whole different story and I'm going to sleep for a bit.