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TXT Strange Bedfellows: The Surprising Connection Between Sex, Evolution and Monogamy by David Philip Barash online look how to audio get
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Book descriptionVery disappointing...Ive been reading a lot on nonmonogamy, including Barash & Liptonss previous book on it, which was very informative. I was expecting the same standard for this one, and really looking forward to seeing some solid biological (and otherwise) arguments for monogamy.The first third of the book does a very good job of recapping modern sciences understanding of nonmonogamy (social and sexual) in the natural world.From then on, the authors make a fairly compelling argument.... that humans derive benefit from deep emotional bonds and twining their lives with other people. This is a great big strawman: the book is actually comparing lifelong partnerships to a sexually promiscuous bachelor lifestyle. This was significantly worsened by a lot of ambiguity regarding whether the authors are referring to sexual or social monogamy. As such, the book largely, though admittedly not completely, misrepresents nonmonogamy by excluding its arguably most relevant variant: deep emotional bonds and life twining with multiple people.In fact, a great portion - if not the vast majority - of their arguments becomes stronger when applied to deep emotional bonds with *multiple* people. I found many of their arguments to be fallacious, either logically or by appeal to the poetic, which in our society is reduced to appeal to tradition/status quo/(monogamous) commonsense. Admittedly, nonmonogamy books make liberal use the appeal to the underdog fallacy, so lets just say that evens out... As for specific arguments: raising children is logistically (and often emotionally) easier outside the single-parent or nuclear family unit (it takes a village...), which includes committed nonmonogamous relationships; and reciprocation or the social safety network is also stronger and more extended in nonmonogamy; the logistics stuff argument also holds better for multiple people.If their intent had not been made clear, it almost seems like the authors are arguing against the nuclear family, not for it...By the end of the book, the authors had almost ceased to relate to known science, and were instead making use of large leaps of faith in an attempt to connect the biology governing social animals with monogamy - and it frankly felt like they were grasping at straws.The most frustrating part of this read is that there is at least some science out there that has arguments for monogamy, as opposed to social nonmonogamy. Its known that some people simply cease to to develop significant romantic connections to others when already in a romantic relationship. This has been tied to certain hormones that suppress both desire and occurrence (sourced from somewhere in Deborah Annapols book on polyamory).In the end, the book had a few interesting meta-observations that were well articulated, as well as a good quick review of evidence for nonmonogamy, for which it gets two stars. Truly, the most compelling argument for monogamy was a relatively brief mention of jealousy, left almost as an afterthought. If you are particularly inclined towards monogamy, this might help with feeling validated, though I found it to be a very lacking representation of the topic. Caveat: Im much more inclined to nonmonogamy, both sexual and social, so bear that in mind.Strange Bedfellows: The Surprising Connection Between Sex, Evolution and Monogamy by David Philip Barash portable book epub itunes amazon
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