April
Friday 9 January 2009 photo 1/1
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I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
.i could ask but i know it wont happen
and i could try but i dont think it will help
i could call but i would just get yelled at
and i could write but it wont get me anywhere
so what am i doing sitting in the dark
wishing things were different somehow
so why am i crying instead of shrugging it off
how did i get myself into this mess that just goes on and on
i secretly wonder when it will end
and i never want it to end
i never want to be alone again
but i know its going to happen.
i guess ive been alone all along
i guess ive never had anything 'real,'
i guess i cant ever understand because i havent had what you have
i can just be here and wonder
just wonder what its like to be you
i wonder what goes on in your mind
and i know that you'll never tell me
but sometimes that just might not be true
and i guess someday someone will tell me what is going on
maybe someone will let me in on the joke everyone one but me is in on
perhaps i wont be like this forever
and then maybe i just dont know what to do
but maybe never tried to find the solution.
i dont know what i did or even remember why i did it
but i know that i did and i just make things worse
i shouldnt open my mouth or feel anything at all
i should just sit here and be nothing, just an empty shell
what good does it do me to think of the bad
what good does it to me to know what i cant have
why does it seem like i am the one whos being punished
how can there be a way to go on in this world
how can people stand to look at themselves knowing what is out there
i dont know if i can do it but i know thats not going to happen either.
and i could try but i dont think it will help
i could call but i would just get yelled at
and i could write but it wont get me anywhere
so what am i doing sitting in the dark
wishing things were different somehow
so why am i crying instead of shrugging it off
how did i get myself into this mess that just goes on and on
i secretly wonder when it will end
and i never want it to end
i never want to be alone again
but i know its going to happen.
i guess ive been alone all along
i guess ive never had anything 'real,'
i guess i cant ever understand because i havent had what you have
i can just be here and wonder
just wonder what its like to be you
i wonder what goes on in your mind
and i know that you'll never tell me
but sometimes that just might not be true
and i guess someday someone will tell me what is going on
maybe someone will let me in on the joke everyone one but me is in on
perhaps i wont be like this forever
and then maybe i just dont know what to do
but maybe never tried to find the solution.
i dont know what i did or even remember why i did it
but i know that i did and i just make things worse
i shouldnt open my mouth or feel anything at all
i should just sit here and be nothing, just an empty shell
what good does it do me to think of the bad
what good does it to me to know what i cant have
why does it seem like i am the one whos being punished
how can there be a way to go on in this world
how can people stand to look at themselves knowing what is out there
i dont know if i can do it but i know thats not going to happen either.
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