Saturday 29 November 2008 photo 1/1
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inte på små rosa moln längre.......
The [ended] lovestory
It is so strange
I miss you with every damnlittle cell of my 16 year old body
but still... I do not. I do not miss you, the small smart cells in my braintells me not to
It is strange
That I want you to call,and that I check my damn phone 3 billion times a day for a message
But still, at the same time, I do not want you to call, to send messages, notto remind me of you
It is real strange
That you were able to hurtme so much that for a time, I had a small wish to end my life, right there, atthat moment, and that moment felt just like a whole lifetime
But deep inside of me I know that despite of what you did I really do not care,I have closed myself for the feeling, a feeling I do not like at all
It is still strange
That you can feel so damnimportant for me, that I cannot afford to lose you, even for a second
and that I, at the same time totally do not care at all what you are doing,where you are or who you are with
Do not you think it is strange
That I can love someone,who hurt me so much, with such a given disaster waiting by the corner, and withthe feeling of helplessness, as like I would not be able to live my lifewithout you
At the same time I hate you with the same certainty and with a sick feeling ofa strength a do not have yet again, the strength you took away from me thatday, my strength and will to fight for myself
But for sure, I will nothave the slightest problems with living my life without you
You see, it is just so damnfucking strange
And I do not have the slightest idea of witch side it is who will end upwinning this battle, Yes, that is just what it is, a battle, against myself
but still... I do not. I do not miss you, the small smart cells in my braintells me not to
But still, at the same time, I do not want you to call, to send messages, notto remind me of you
But deep inside of me I know that despite of what you did I really do not care,I have closed myself for the feeling, a feeling I do not like at all
and that I, at the same time totally do not care at all what you are doing,where you are or who you are with
At the same time I hate you with the same certainty and with a sick feeling ofa strength a do not have yet again, the strength you took away from me thatday, my strength and will to fight for myself
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