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Total Fangbanger ÒwÓ (LucyBlack) Östersund ,Jämtland

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Friday 9 September 2011 photo 1/2

Jag har skrivit nu som en maniac på min roman, och har nu även lämmnat in den till min svenska lärare för gensvar, även fast den är på enagelska. :P
Men jag behöver mer gensvar, så jag tänkte lägga upp början här så kanske ni kan ge mil tile gensvar eller bara allmän feedback?
Här kommer texten anyway! ;D
The year is 2748. The month is august. The day is… I don’t know what day is.
Wake up. Hunger. Pain. "Why don’t I just stay down?"
’You can’t do that you know. You have to find Kieth. You promised, remember’.
" Kieth will be fine without me."
’No he won’t.’
"Yes he will."
’No he won’t.’ Irritation
"Yes he will!"
’No he won’t, he will die.’ Panic
"No he won’t, he wouldn’t allow that!"
’Yes he would. He will be poisoned’.
" No."
’Tortured.’
" No!"
’Beheaded…’ Horror
Whisper "Enough..."
’He’ll die.’
"Enough Alright! I’ll get up, just shut up!"
Okay. Get up was it? Pain again. Yeah that’s right, my twisted ankle. Oh this wake is going to be a bad one, why did I even get up?
’Kieth will…’
"No he won’t! Just Shut up!"
Alright, food. I have to eat or I’ll die. I’m fumbling through the darkness.
"Aotch, my foot!" I hit my foot on something hard, it feels like a 21century refrigerator. Damn those old things. I feel wind on my skin. Wind? Wait what is that? A door opening and I can see light! I get to the opening. The moon is big and shines brightly. No clouds, and billions of stars. Hmm maybe this wake won’t be so bad after all.
Hunger. I see a dark shadow on the ground in front of me. A dead deer? I am running towards it hoping that it is edible. But the stench of rotten corps hits me like a wall. I can feel my gut twist.
Ugh! Too old. And… human. Covering my mouth and nose with my left hand, I’m turning the body with my right, so that I can see the face of the corps. A woman, probably very pretty once. Dead for 4-6 days. But by what? By the disease or by the hand of another human? I take out my lighter and hold it over the dead body. A knife through her heart. By the hand of another human. I see a dirty wound on her arm. Hmm. She probably belonged to a group, but when they saw her green-ish wound she got an immediate death sentence, in fear of that she might infect all of them. That’s how things work these days. If they think you have been infected, the kill you in fear of their own life. "’Cause who’s ever been infected will die soon anyway." I had some experience from that...

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Jag har skrivit nu som en maniac på min roman, och har nu även lämmnat in den till min svenska lärare för gensvar, även fast den är på enagelska. :P
Men jag behöver mer gensvar, så jag tänkte lägga upp början här så kanske ni kan ge mil tile gensvar eller bara allmän feedback?

Här kommer texten anyway! ;D

The year is 2748. The month is august. The day is… I don’t know what day is.

Wake up. Hunger. Pain. "Why don’t I just stay down?"
’You can’t do that you know. You have to find Kieth. You promised, remember’.
" Kieth will be fine without me."
’No he won’t.’
"Yes he will."
’No he won’t.’ Irritation
"Yes he will!"
’No he won’t, he will die.’ Panic
"No he won’t, he wouldn’t allow that!"
’Yes he would. He will be poisoned’.
" No."
’Tortured.’
" No!"
’Beheaded…’ Horror
Whisper "Enough..."
’He’ll die.’
"Enough Alright! I’ll get up, just shut up!"
Okay. Get up was it? Pain again. Yeah that’s right, my twisted ankle. Oh this wake is going to be a bad one, why did I even get up?
’Kieth will…’
"No he won’t! Just Shut up!"
Alright, food. I have to eat or I’ll die. I’m fumbling through the darkness.
"Aotch, my foot!" I hit my foot on something hard, it feels like a 21century refrigerator. Damn those old things. I feel wind on my skin. Wind? Wait what is that? A door opening and I can see light! I get to the opening. The moon is big and shines brightly. No clouds, and billions of stars. Hmm maybe this wake won’t be so bad after all.
Hunger. I see a dark shadow on the ground in front of me. A dead deer? I am running towards it hoping that it is edible. But the stench of rotten corps hits me like a wall. I can feel my gut twist.
Ugh! Too old. And… human. Covering my mouth and nose with my left hand, I’m turning the body with my right, so that I can see the face of the corps. A woman, probably very pretty once. Dead for 4-6 days. But by what? By the disease or by the hand of another human? I take out my lighter and hold it over the dead body. A knife through her heart. By the hand of another human. I see a dirty wound on her arm. Hmm. She probably belonged to a group, but when they saw her green-ish wound she got an immediate death sentence, in fear of that she might infect all of them. That’s how things work these days. If they think you have been infected, the kill you in fear of their own life. "’Cause who’s ever been infected will die soon anyway." I had some experience from that...

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scendjuret

scendjuret Fri 9 Sep 2011 15:58

jag håller också på å skriva massa romaner, på engelska, är på sidan 100 något nu :D rkt intressant btw :3

LucyBlack Fri 9 Sep 2011 15:59

Åh vad kul! :D

scendjuret Fri 9 Sep 2011 16:03

yup yup =)

LucyBlack Fri 9 Sep 2011 16:04

och tack så mycket btw x3

scendjuret Fri 9 Sep 2011 16:07

np :D

Anonymous Fri 9 Sep 2011 15:29

Åhh det låter spännande :3 älskar såna där disease "böcker" eller vad man nu vill kalla det

LucyBlack Fri 9 Sep 2011 15:54

Tack! :D
haha ja jag med, det finns så många möjligheter att låta fantasin bara flöda när man skriver sånnt ^^

Anonymous Fri 9 Sep 2011 16:34

Aa :) ser inget intressant alls i "romantisk-drama" typ. Det ska va lite fantasi :3 kommer du lägga upp hela sen?

LucyBlack Fri 9 Sep 2011 17:11

ja vi får se, den kommer att bli ganska lång så jag tvivlar xp

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