August
Tuesday 20 January 2009 photo 1/1
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A fairytale in different metal versions.
Scenario: The princess is stuck in a big castle guarded by a big, evil, fire-breathing dragon!
POWER METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
TRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins,flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (becauseof all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals herbelongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kill her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it infront of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her bloodin a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next tothe dragon.
GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, killsthe dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks theprincess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes herbelly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time,burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he couldnever beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragoneats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sadstory.
PROGRESIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with aguitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out ofboredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, playsanother solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the lastyear of the conservatoSparary.
The princess escapes looking for the ”HEAVY METAL” protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and letshim enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint thecastle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight thedragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
Mihi !
Scenario: The princess is stuck in a big castle guarded by a big, evil, fire-breathing dragon!
POWER METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
TRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins,flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (becauseof all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.
VIKING METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals herbelongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kill her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it infront of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her bloodin a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next tothe dragon.
GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, killsthe dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks theprincess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes herbelly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time,burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he couldnever beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragoneats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sadstory.
PROGRESIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with aguitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out ofboredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, playsanother solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the lastyear of the conservatoSparary.
The princess escapes looking for the ”HEAVY METAL” protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and letshim enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint thecastle in a beautiful pink color.
NU METAL:
Theprotagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight thedragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
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