September
Friday 16 May 2008 photo 1/1
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Den här hittades på Facebook.. Innehåller egentligen 300 st påståenden, men jag orkadei nte ta med alla så jag tar med dem som stämmer bäst :P
1- A few shots of Bai jiu don't even give you a buzz. - Vi vet hur vi ska blanda det nu!
2- You're at an expensive western restaurant and don't even notice the guy at the next table yelling into his cell phone - Det är helt sjukt :S
3- A June 2001 Great Wall Cabernet (mixed with Sprite) is your vintage of choice Nja, inte direkt..
4- When someone says 'snack', you think: salted cuttlefish. Nej, sockrade Popcorn..
5- You only drink beer from one litre bottles. Hmm.. Ja?
6- You enjoy wearing flip flops on all occasions Neeej faktist inte!
7- you get your haircut on the sidewalk. Skulle aldrig våga :P
8- You leave the 'Garbano' designer label conspicuously on the jacket sleeve. Nono..
9- You enjoy karaoke. OHJA! Det ÄGER!
10- You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio. Kankse borde testa det någon dag :S
12- You have grown used to the picture quality of pirated VCDs. HAha för länge sen ^^
13- Badminton and ping pong are your main forms of exercise. Vi har det precis utanför dörren.
14- You watch 'xiangqi' (Chinese chess) on TV religiously. Nejnej, vi har det live utanför.
15- You find yourself "getting back to nature" in a park that contains nothing but concrete and a giant revolutionary statue. Ja?
17- All white people look the same to you. Ibland :P
18- You like the smell of the bus. Det gör ingen
19- Open spaces make you nervous. Lite?
20- You find state-employed retail staff helpful, knowledgeable and friendly. Det är omöjligt.
22- You no longer need tissues to blow your nose. Det är SÅ äckligt! Dumma kineser :( (Jag använder)
23- Other foreigners seem foreign to you. Självklart!
24- You find yourself exiting a major highway...on your bike. Och gående.
25- You find western toilets uncomfortable. Går bara på den hemma i lägenheten. Annars är det kinesisk.
26- You throw your used toilet paper in the basket (as a courtesy to the next person). Ja, men inte i lägenheten.
29- Your body no longer accepts dairy products. Mja.. lite liksom
30- You draw characters on your hand to make yourself understood. Haha, ja :S
31- You ask people in what animal year they were born. Nej men får ofta frågan.
33- You think you speak Chinese fluently. Jag gör det.. lovar!! Nejdå :)
34- Squatting becomes your favourite position, anytime, anywhere. Inte direkt.
35- You think a 30 year old woman who carries a Hello Kitty lunch box is cute. HAHA Den dagen, den sorgen..
36- You can't put a proper sentence together in your native language. Nej, det kan jag inte.
39- A sexual pervert is a man who prefers women to money. MJaa.. Typ
40- Your building's security guard is 4 times older than the building itself. HAHA, De är typ.. 10 år!
42- Thanks to karaoke, you know who has the most singing talent in your building. Men hallå..
43- You believe that pressing the lift button 63 times will make it move faster. Det gör det.. Jag lovar.
45- You know it is useless to protest when the lady at the supermarket
check-out wraps one toothbrush in 6 plastic bags. Jag har aldrig varit med om det.
46- You learnt to recognise Andy Lau, Leon Lai, Aaron Kwok and Jacky Cheung. AND JACKY CHAN Jag kan iallafall två av dem ;)
47- You aren't aware that one is supposed to pay for software. WHAT!?
48- Pink bathroom tiles can make any building or public garden beautiful. Självklart.
50- You actually purchased a canto-pop CD ... Nej...
51- You actually played it several times. ... ... NEJ!
53- You are not surprised to see your tap water run dark brown. INte direkt..
55- You are not surprised to see 85-year old ladies pushing tons of garbage up the streets of the financial district. Ni borde se det! Helt galet!
56- You use the word "Ayyiieeaaahh" every few sentences to convey surprise, pleasure, pain or anger. Hmmm.. Bra fråga!
59- You watch an american movie on HBO, with sub-titles, and try to read them. Lite ^^
62- You believe that the cure for all ailments is to drink more water. JA!
63- You have a washing machine in your apartment. Faktiskt!
64- You think that a $7 shirt is a rip-off. Så Hemskt dyrt!
66- Your work buddy taps you on the shoulder to talk to you, and you say "Bu Yao" (no thank you!) out of habit. För ofta..
69. You question the waitress who didn't cut your steak piece by piece, and ask for chopsticks. Ja??
70. You always leave your tray and trash on the table when you are in Starbucks and Maccas because you insist that is the way to keep everyone employed Nja?
74. You are no longer flinching every few seconds in a Taxi ride. Snälla.. Slutade för länge sen..
78. You start reaching for a piece of fish with your chop sticks and don't even notice the fish looking back at you. Nej alltså, där går det för långt.
79. Walking across the street, against the light, and in and out of traffic is a piece of cake. Ni skulle aldrig våga gå med mig här :S
82. You are now washing your socks in the sink. Vi har ju tvättmaskin :D
84. You think it's okay that your girlfriend has a chinese boyfriend too, cause she doesn't like him. HAHA händer oftare än ni tror.
86. You accept the fact that the bathroom sink "doesn't work" and just use the kitchen sink instead. Ja, faktist.
87. You think it's silly to buy a new bike when it'll get stolen soon and stolen bikes are half the price. *visslar* Nejdå.
89. You'd rather pay the 10 yuan for an all night stay at the internet cafe than the 30 for a taxi home. HAHAHAHHA
91. When refusing someone something they expected or counted on you just say "Sorry" (buhaoyise) with no explanation whatsoever. Hmmm..
92.When asked your reasons you just repeat "Sorry" (buhaoyisi). Njeeh.
93. You go to Carrefour to shop for girls. O_O
95. Ice cubes in beer actually make it cooler and more refreshing Nejnejnej.
96. Your definition of going home "early" or not staying out too late is around midnight Tidigast..
98. When you take a cab, you give play-by-play driving directions to the driver Har hänt.
101. When you go to the toilet you start bringing your own toilet paper Ja?
102. You can pick up any type of food using just your chopsticks... even peanuts. Jag ÄGER!
103. You blow your nose or spit on the restaurant floor (of course after making a loud hocking noise) MÅste folk göra så??
104. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own. HAHA Nej..
106. You stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to plan your day. Hih.
107. It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off. Många försöker.
111. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a number for the next queue. Ibland så..
112. You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "Broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it "Fixed". Så är det väll överallt.
113. You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage while the plane is on final approach. HAHA Jobbiga kineser :P
114. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your trousers, or you have your suits made with terrycloth pockets. Ja!
117. You regard traffic signals, stop signs, and counterfeit watch peddlers with equal disdain. ... ...
118. You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags. FNISS
119. When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller. HAHA
120. You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different. Händer..
123. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb. N0?
126. You look over people's shoulder to see what they are reading. Har hänt!
128. You would rather SMS someone than actually meet to talk 'face to face'. MÅnga??
129. You start not answering your mobile so u can call back from your house/ public phone. Nej faktist inte :)
130. You wear nylons when it is 30 degrees outside MEn!
132. You regularly fumble for five minutes to find 10 jiao despite 10 people waiting in line behind you. Ibland ^^
133. Car accidents become a source of heartwarming humour. Hmm..
134. You ride around on your bicycle ringing a bell for some unknown f***ing reason HAHAHAHA
135. When shopping at Carrefour some laowai stares you down for catching you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what laowai's eat. :P Njaa
136. You start telling a story to a new expat friend about the crazy Beijing girl you slept with 6 months ago and he replies that he knows her and she was his girlfriend at the time. Neither of you care. Jag gillar beijing.
140. You get your first case of bronchitus and you have never smoked a cigarette in your life. Hmmmm... ?
142. You have a pinky fingernail an inch long NEJ DET ÄR SÅ FULT!
143. You haven't cut you finger nails in 8 weeks. Nej jag filar..
145. Armpit hair has become a new sex game and play toy. Höhö
146. In a meeting you say everything will be 'wonderful' and give no details. Ungefär.
147. You forget that the other person needs to finish speaking before you can start. Har hänt.
148. You burp in any situation and don't care.
149. You see one foreign person eating Pineapple (or whatever) and say "Yes, all foreign people like Pineapple HAHA
151. You think Pizza Hut is high-class and worth queueing for. Nej men Pyro Pizza..
153. When having conversations with your friends you start leaving unnecessary words or letters out of sentances and end up talking like an inbecile Kanske.
154. In the rain, you spot a vacant taxi which is 10 minutes away and you have already planned how you are going to jump out with great enthusiasm in the road, elbow everyone else trying to claim it, and wave your hands everywhere in a 'look at me I'm a goal keeper' kind of fashion SNälla ni. Vardagsmat!
168. You don't have to speak to taxi drivers. Every cab in town has taken you home at least once, so they all know where you live. N jaaaa.. !!
169. It seems entirely sensible to take a cab across town for 12 yuan in each direction to buy something that costs 4 yuan, that they sell right outside your house anyway.
170. You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules.
174. You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai. YES; det gör jag.
175. You think singing Karaoke on Friday nights is fun. Ja.
176. Other foreigners seem foreign to you. Ja.
181. You prefer using chopsticks. JAjajaja
182. Chinese fashion starts looking hip. Nej, så länge kommer jag aldrig vara i Kina.
189. You start to enjoy the taste of baijiu.
191. You have to pause and translate your phone number into English before telling it to someone.
192. Your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters.
193. You get used to having a before dinner, during dinner, and after dinner cigarette.
194. You think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk.
195. You go to the local shop in pajamas.
199. You ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize them.
200. You speak putonghua better than the locals.
201. You buy the local newspaper because you forget that you can't read Chinese.
202. When looking out the window, you think "Wow, so many trees!" instead of "Wow, so much concrete!"
204. You can swear in 3 different dialects.
205. Pollution, what pollution?
206. You think squat toilets are more sensible.
211. You stop enjoying telling newcomers to China "all about China".
212. You think "English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut brained bimbo.
213. You are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you'll probably never ever meet her again.
214. You develop a liking for corn flavored ice cream.
215. You think the best part of TV is the commercials.
216. When you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
217. You think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.
218. You have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills.
219. You think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?"
220. Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why.
221. 70 degrees F. feels cold.
222. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there's room for two more.
223. "Squid" sounds better than "steak".
224. There are more things strapped to your bicycle than you would ever put in your car.
225. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.
226. Firecrackers don't wake you up.
227. Your family stops asking when you'll be coming back.
228. You don't mind when your date picks his/her nose in public.
229. You wear out your vehicle's horn before its brakes.
230. Smoking is one of the dinner courses.
231. You (male) wear white socks with your business suits.
232. You (female) wear socks over your pantyhose in summer.
234. People who knew you when you first arrived don't recognize you.
235. You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.
236. You buy a top-of-the-line karaoke machine.
237. None of your shoes have laces.
238. Chinese stop you on the street to ask for directions.
239. You leave the plastic on all new purchases.
240. Forks feel funny.
241. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.
242. People who haven't seen you for months don't ask where you've been.
243. Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals.
244. The only foreigners who have been here longer than you are buried here.
245. You get homesick for Chinese food when away from China.
246. It becomes a tradition that at least part of Christmas dinner is stir-fried.
247. Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you've been here.
248. You realize that smiling and nodding is Chinese body language for, "Go away; leave me alone."
249. Metal scaffolding at construction sites seems much more dangerous than bamboo scaffolding.
253. Summers are too short; winters too long.
261. you start expecting the rice at the end of a meal BÖrjade jag med för länge sen.
266. You think of "salad" as diced apples in mayonnaise. Iiiih!
267. You don't recognize a bowl of chicken soup unless there are feet and a head in it. Sant.
286. You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills. Lite.
287. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves. Nästan!
293. You always get a seat on a bus. Ibland.
294. You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign. Nej det kan jag inte.
295. You cannot say "Call me." without making a pretend phone with your fingers and sticking to your ear. HAHAHA
300. You like the taste of Green Tea and Chivas
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