Sunday 9 December 2012 photo 115/133
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Det här skriv Liam på sin tumblr
(och ja, det är hans riktiga, så snälla, lacka inte ur. http://paynesmind.tumblr.com"
för ett tag sedan. Började lipa.
Våran kära, älskade, Liam..
Glad över att Dani är tillbaks, åhåh
"So, I feel pretty mixed this week. So much has happened its overwhelming.
Im was, and am, in love, with such a beautiful girl, shes my world, my everything. The way she smiles, she laughs, I love everything about her, shes so smart, and beautiful, even her flaws, except one, She doesnt love me back.
My life isnt normal, I dont think it ever truely will be anymore, I travel alot, and work almost every day, Im not perfect, Im far from, I have so many flaws, Im insecure, I have low self esteem, I find it hard to like myself, and appreciate myself, so its hard to trust that someone else does, that someone likes me for the person I am inside, Im not interested in the fame hungry, the kind of people who want to get themselves further, love me for me. I have weird habits and ways, as most people do, Sometimes I eat candy for breakfast, , thats just me.
I try not to let things affect how I live my life, but they ofcourse do, I cant change being away from home, or being sick, I will spend my life campaigning until a cure can be found, and a world released fromthe pain of diabetes, it isnt easy to live with, I do my best, through highs and lows.
Love is such a confusing thing, My heart has been broken so many times that maybe im afraid of love. I fall so quickly, a flaw? When I love someone they become everything in my world, the reason I live for each day, what I hope for, for my future.
My heart has been broken again, and My faith is faltering. This love was different than any Id had before, I felt it really was different, someone like me, someone who enjoyed the things I did, and who made me feel whole. And, I feel lost now, completely. My future vanished in an instant. She has already moved on with her life, her future planned out, while I just stand here, Has it even hit me yet? I feel like that day when I stood in the rain, when my first love walked away, and I stood there, that feeling when your looking, but into nothing, maybe its just me, your vision blurs slightly and your focusing into nothing.
Life is so empty, the family we have around us will not always be there, there is but the family we make for ourselves.
Part of me is angry at her, But it doesnt last, I truely believe I lost my soulmate, and it frightens me to think of her with someone else, that my future isnt there anymore. All I can do is try and create a different one, one that isnt what I wanted.
You can be in a room full of people, and yet me totally alone.
Maybe I should be happy for her. But then anger returns, as to how she could hurt me so much, and not feel guilty for it.
Yoda was right, my future is gone and I am afraid. as he once said “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering" The more I am afraid, the more I hurt.
My life isnt as rosey as you guys may think, its very difficult, and most of the choices in it are not my own. Many people control what I can say, or how I am to live my life. This is the one place where noone can do that, this is a fansite, its a place I can be myself unofficially.
I crave love, I give everything I can, in the hope of getting it back. It isnt always as much as a person would like, but someone who understands the reasons, would accept and cherish my love.
Venting. Hmm.
Part of me wants to shout, AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Part of me wants to curse.
Part of me wants to run and hide and cry.
Part of me knows there is nothing to work for anymore, everything im working on was for the future I had planned, the one that vanished, a future of little me’s, a wife and children, like my brother has begun.
I just, I dont know, why am I saying this to you, who knows. I just, Im lost guys, Im so lost and Im trying i hard to be strong, but my faith has faltered, and Im alone.
I love you, Ill never let go.
Before I met you, I was always considered the strong one, the one who never got hurt; I could do anything and never fall. I felt like I was the epitome of invincibility; of confidence. Now you’ve come along, you’ve broken my heart, and you’ve shaken me from that really strong foundation that I had spent years constructing. I found out more about myself than I ever had before. I found that my foundation wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. I found that love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be -..and I found that this time, maybe I won’t be able to get back up quite so easily."
End of story. Slut på gråtandet.
Älskar er.
Annons
empaa'
Sun 9 Dec 2012 22:14
läste det nyss och skickade meddelanden om att alla vi fans stöttar honom och att han är bra som han är osvosv...
jag typ åååh lilla Liaaaamm lemme hug yoouu <////3
jag typ åååh lilla Liaaaamm lemme hug yoouu <////3
I'm a Directioner Problem With That?
Sun 9 Dec 2012 22:12
"Im was, and am, in love, with such a beautiful girl, shes my world, my
everything. The way she smiles, she laughs, I love everything about her, shes so smart, and beautiful, even her flaws, except one, She doesnt love me back." Menar han Danielle?....
everything. The way she smiles, she laughs, I love everything about her, shes so smart, and beautiful, even her flaws, except one, She doesnt love me back." Menar han Danielle?....
Anonymous
Sun 9 Dec 2012 22:04
'Sometimes I eat candy for breakfast, , thats just me.' aw, som idag :'''))))
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