Tuesday 18 September 2018 photo 6/7
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Vampire Killers Full Movie Download In Hindi
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DOWNLOAD: http://urllio.com/r2p1v
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Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.
Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they offer a ride to the guys to the cottage. They introduce themselves as students of folklore and they are researching the Vampire Queen Carmilla. When Fletch believes that he will have a night of beer and sex with three sexy girls and Jimmy and Lotte have a crush on each other, the cottage is surrounded by a group of lesbian vampires that vampires intend to use Jimmy and Lotte's blood to bring Carmilla back to life. They are abducted by the vampires, but Fletch escapes and meets Reverend Vicar that tells him that Jimmy is a descendant of the baron and only hope to stop the evil curse of Cragwich.
People seem to compare this to Shaun of the Dead a lot so, when I watched this, I really tried not to. Here's the thing, though... It's quite hard to do. Outside the more obvious things like the parodying of different horror movie antagonists, and the "loser with a fat best friend" pairing of Horne and Corden, the first 10 minutes is pretty much how Shaun of the Dead starts without the zombies and through Corden's acting you can hear him screaming "I want to be Nick Frost!" to himself.
Outside of this though, the movie is still terrible. Most of the humour derives from horror movie clichés (you'll have lost count of them before you even open the popcorn) and all of the jokes are unoriginal and incredibly predictable. In fact, nearly everything that I gathered was supposed to be funny to some extent reminded me of a joke from another British comedy that was done so much better. One of the "running gags" through the movie is that Horne/Corden fails at doing something simple like kicking a door down while a supporting character does it with ease. When I saw this I couldn't help but think the writers were thinking "Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright did that thing with the fences in Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz, we need something similar".
The acting is pretty terrible throughout as well. When the women came into the picture about 20 minutes in, all of them (with the exception of the lead female) speak with this very fake and very annoying European accent. One of them also has a gimmick of only saying "Ja, ja" which got old after... I dunno, the first time she said it? But when I heard the girls speak for the first time I honestly felt embarrassed about what I was watching and, had I been watching this at a cinema, I would have most definitely walked out. Let's be thankful most of the girls only had a bit-part.
The plot... Well, what is there to it? It's as if the writers thought to themselves "Let's make the most generic vampire plot imaginable. It's okay though; because it's a comedy we can get away with it". The thing is, you can only get away with an uninspired plot if the rest of the movie is original and inspired and, since the rest of the movie can't even get the "funny" right, it doesn't get anything else right either. Not even the horror bits. My girlfriend jumps a mile whenever there's a jumpy part of a movie but she didn't flinch for the entire 80 minutes of this. Why? Because the entire movie is an uninspired, unoriginal, incredibly predictable and incredibly lazy piece of garbage that didn't need to be made.
The year 1872 was a famous one in literary history. It was, for example, the year when Thomas Hardy wrote "Under the Greenwood Tree" and George Eliot "Middlemarch". For our purposes, however, is importance lies in the fact that this was the year when the Irish writer Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, in his story "Carmilla", invented the lesbian vampire. And what would the British horror film industry do without lesbian vampires? Admittedly, Victorian standards of propriety meant that in Le Fanu's original story the lesbianism had to be implied rather than explicit, but the various twentieth-century adaptations of the story, especially Hammer's "The Vampire Lovers" were much less restrained on this point.
"Lesbian Vampire Killers" is essentially "Carmilla" adapted for the New Lad generation. The heroes, Fletch and Jimmy, played by comedians James Corden and Matthew Horne, are a pair of unlikely lads from London who spend most of their time obsessing about beer, football and girls. And in Jimmy's case about his on/off relationship with his sluttish girlfriend Judy. It's generally "off" when Judy wants to dump Jimmy for another man, then "on" again when she discovers the other man isn't interested. Fletch and Jimmy decide to go away on holiday together, but lacking the cash for a foreign vacation decide to go hiking in England, and settle upon the Norfolk village of Cragwich.
This is not the best choice they could have made. An ancient curse, cast in the Middle Ages by the vampire queen Carmilla, means that, upon reaching her eighteenth birthday, every girl in Cragwich turns into a lesbian vampire. This phenomenon which seems to have gone quite unnoticed by the outside world, except in Germany; Fletch and Jimmy meet four attractive German students who have come to Cragwich to study its ancient legend. They also learn, from the local vicar, of an ancient prophecy which states that Carmilla will rise again from the dead and that she can only be slain by the last descendant of the Clan McLaren, which just happens to be Jimmy. (It was a McLaren who was responsible for slaying Carmilla in her previous incarnation; the Clan McLaren were, of course, originally from the Scottish Highlands, not from Norfolk, but this is not a film which places a high premium on factual accuracy). Le Fanu probably intended the name "Carmilla" to be pronounced with a long vowel in the first syllable, but here the pronunciation is generally closer to "Camilla". Perhaps this was a comment on the less-than-popular wife of our current heir to the throne.
While watching the film it struck me that the phrase "lesbian vampire killers" is triply ambiguous in that it can be interpreted in three different ways, namely (1) lesbians who kill vampires, (2) lesbian vampires who kill and (3) people who kill lesbian vampires. The producers, however, presumably intended it to be taken in the third of these senses as the initially reluctant Jimmy and Fletch take to killing as many vampires as they can, aided by Lotte (one of the tourists) and the Vicar (played by former Doctor Who Paul McGann), before Britain and the whole world are overrun by a plague of lesbian vampires. On the other hand, the title may also cover the second of the three above meanings, as the vampires themselves can certainly be pretty lethal.
The film was not popular with the critics, and it doesn't seem too popular with some reviewers on this board either. Reading some of the one-star reviews, generally written from a position of jaw-dropping political correctness, was like wading through a "Guardian" women's-page editorial from the 1970s. Of course, the idea of lesbians as blood- sucking vampires would be horribly bigoted and misogynistic if it were to be taken seriously, but the one thing you cannot do with a film like this is to take anything about it seriously. The whole thing is a spoof from start to finish, a sort of cinematic equivalent of "Viz" magazine. (McGann's foul-mouthed Vicar particularly put me in mind of a "Viz" character). I would have described it as a parody of those old Hammer films from the sixties and seventies, of which "The Vampire Lovers" is a prime example, were it not for the fact that many of those films contain a strong element of self-parody. Certainly, it is not for everyone; those inclined to take life too seriously will loathe it, and anyone averse to bawdy humour or bad language would be well-advised to give it a wide berth. It is no "Citizen Kane", but most other people will find it amusing piece of entertainment, especially if watched late at night. 5/10
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