July
Tuesday 3 February 2009 photo 1/1
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it aint easy I know, but no one sade it would b, so who r u 2 judge me? each and every day I hear the same old lines, talking like I have never done anything right in ma life. embarrassed cause I stepped out of the line, I just can´t b one in the crowd and u can´t force me back in. I don´t care if u think I´m ugly or u feel disgusted by me, it´s just words, they don´t mean nothing, I just brushing it of ma shoulders, check out how it´s bouncing of me.
I´m not goanna let it get 2 me this time, yesterday I hade ma breakdown, riding the bus on ma way home, I totally broke down, mascara dripping down ma chin, got home stepped in the shower, I collapsed on the floor, I coulden´t carry this heavy baggage on more, water and tears al mixed up going down ma face, I´m so scared but I wont let no one ells see ma fears, just give me 5 minutes and al b back on ma feet agene, u will never know there´s something wrong. people coming people passes, at time I feel so lonely, I know I´m not the only. I wish u were here 2 put ya arm around me, just holding me tight al thru the night, never let go of me..
I remember al those times she used ma name with anger and hate but I coulden´t b vulnerable, never cried in front of her, just kept ma head up, the soldier, that character grew inside of me, will never b weak so just let me b, but then said I will never come 2 heaven I will go straight down, but what dose it matter 2 her, she don´t even believe in god, al this shit, never let go of it, just wanna mess with me, I´m always the one walking away and still I feel like a winner each and everyday cause I´m still here and I´m breathing, proud as hell of what what I´m about 2 achieve of life..
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