February
Sunday 8 March 2009 photo 1/1
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Fuck everything, absolute everything without exception.
Tearfilled eyes, shattered dreams a broken past and endless hate, depression, inhumantiy, scarcity, death.
I just can't take it anymore, no fake smiles, no "I'm fine" comments no fucking stupid ignorance. I just hate it I hate everything why can't people just look straight and realise..? Why does it have to be like this every fucking say. All I ever wanted was to be happy, a normal person with normal thoughts, but it's fucking impossible.. A fucked up person with a fucked up personality, a fucked up mind and a twisted perspective. The visions, the blood, the agony, the inocense, the guilt, everythings fucked up, it wasn't always like this. Why..? How did I end up here, at the stage where I would gladly cut my throat without regrets without any positive energy left. How did I end up with these never ending feelings. A shattred mind, what a fucked up sentance, but sadly it's true. I hate life and I stand for it, how can anyone be such a fucking fool. The ignorance.. Just fucking why? I'm heading to my very bottom. Where the darkest thoughts lies, waiting to destroy my last wishes, my will to live. I'm fucking tired of everything, I constantly ask my self why? Why wake up in the morning when you know that the actions of today will be ten times worse tomorrow. I'm tired of people, of the visions, the feelings but most of all my self. It's my own fault that I feel this way, it's own fucking fault that everything is fucked up. My own fault that the sadness spreads like the god damn plague, I'm the point neg, the source to depression. And I deeply regret it. I regret everything I did. Everything would have been better, everything would have a reason. But no... "Why be dissapointed later when you can be miserable now?" -.- I'm such a fucking fool.. How could I buy that? How could I have ever thought that it was all ok. No more... Just fucking no more. Of all the things that maks this day worse then the other, why me? Why do I constantly let me be draged down by my self? Why do I constantly get in my own way? Just face it... There is no god damn answer to anything, just try not to make it worse.
Tearfilled eyes, shattered dreams a broken past and endless hate, depression, inhumantiy, scarcity, death.
I just can't take it anymore, no fake smiles, no "I'm fine" comments no fucking stupid ignorance. I just hate it I hate everything why can't people just look straight and realise..? Why does it have to be like this every fucking say. All I ever wanted was to be happy, a normal person with normal thoughts, but it's fucking impossible.. A fucked up person with a fucked up personality, a fucked up mind and a twisted perspective. The visions, the blood, the agony, the inocense, the guilt, everythings fucked up, it wasn't always like this. Why..? How did I end up here, at the stage where I would gladly cut my throat without regrets without any positive energy left. How did I end up with these never ending feelings. A shattred mind, what a fucked up sentance, but sadly it's true. I hate life and I stand for it, how can anyone be such a fucking fool. The ignorance.. Just fucking why? I'm heading to my very bottom. Where the darkest thoughts lies, waiting to destroy my last wishes, my will to live. I'm fucking tired of everything, I constantly ask my self why? Why wake up in the morning when you know that the actions of today will be ten times worse tomorrow. I'm tired of people, of the visions, the feelings but most of all my self. It's my own fault that I feel this way, it's own fucking fault that everything is fucked up. My own fault that the sadness spreads like the god damn plague, I'm the point neg, the source to depression. And I deeply regret it. I regret everything I did. Everything would have been better, everything would have a reason. But no... "Why be dissapointed later when you can be miserable now?" -.- I'm such a fucking fool.. How could I buy that? How could I have ever thought that it was all ok. No more... Just fucking no more. Of all the things that maks this day worse then the other, why me? Why do I constantly let me be draged down by my self? Why do I constantly get in my own way? Just face it... There is no god damn answer to anything, just try not to make it worse.
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