I hate feeling like this. There's an endless and invisible wall in front of me and it's keeping me from living my life. I can't go, I want to but I can't. I must go... but how the fuck am I supposed to? When I wake up, I feel okay. When I know I have to start getting ready... I get this pain inside my chest. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it's holding me back. It's angst. It's fear. It's self-loathing. It's weariness. It's driving me insane. I know I have to go, right now, but it hurts. Damn this feeling. I don't want it again. I've lived with it before and now it's back again, and I can't stand it. I don't have an appointment with my "psychologist" in school until monday... I need like antidepressant or something because I don't want to feel like this anymore, again. I'm so tired. I'm chronically tired. I must be. I sleep all the friggin time, yet I'm exhausted. I hate this. In the mornings, I feel okay enough to move, to live and go out... But right now, all I want to do is hide away and just let time fly by. Let my grades drop, let all my friends down... I basically lost my "friends" because of my lack of motivation. Fuck it, I'm going back to sleep. I'm so sorry but I can't help it. I need help.

Annons

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Anonymous Thu 13 Mar 2008 11:37

älskling då:(

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March 2012