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NEW Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation by Susan Forward eng access direct link portable download
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Book descriptionThis book, while written a few decades back, does its best to discuss a subject that has been in the shadows, shrouded in myth and secrecy, and has probably always been a prevalent problem in society. Many people dont realize, even now, how often incestuous abuse occurs, and many still believe the misconceptions surrounding it. There is still a lot of denial, especially when a perpetrator is successful, and seems to be normal on the surface. The fathers who sexually abuse their children, in particular, are often masters at hiding their private behavior in public and around other family members. This only compounds the shame, fear and confusion of the victims, and often, the abuse can go on even after the incest survivor has reached adulthood.As in her other book, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy And Reclaiming Your Life, Dr. Susan Forward makes a conscious effort to tear down incest myths. The fathers who commit incest, in particular, do not do so because they are sexually deprived, or motivated by sexual desire. Rather, many of them are in pursuit of power, dominance and even comfort that their children provide simply because they are vulnerable and see the father as a god, the all-knowing, good role model. Many of these fathers have active sex lives, within marriage, outside of marriage or both, and some of them use threats and violence to keep the child quiet and make them submissive. There always seems to be a lack of communication, stifling of emotions, and conflicts that makes an ideal environment where incest and other types of abuse can thrive. Forward does not let the mothers slide either. While some are not honestly aware of what is happening, the silent partner type, who at least, is intuitively aware or has suspicions but does not act on them, because she wants to keep the family together, generally denies problems or is too dependent to seek help for her children. Then there is the more despicable mother, the one who does know of the abuse, chooses to do nothing about it, or is actively involved in the incest. Many of these mothers are motivated by jealousy and anger, and sometimes even punish their children for taking her husband away from her.The book deals mostly with father-daughter incest, which is the most commonly reported. Although many of the descriptions refer to the victim as female, much of this could apply to male victims of incest. While she does discuss other forms of incest (sibling incest, grandfather-granddaughter incest, mother-son incest, mother-daughter incest and father-son incest), the father-daughter issue is paramount. This may be due in large part to the lack of information on the other cases, it still could have used an expansion. I did appreciate that she made a point that there are other types of incest or incestuous behavior that does not involve penetration or inappropriate touching, but any behavior that makes the victim feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or harms their development. Voyeurism (spying on a victim in private areas, such as a bedroom or bathroom), masturbating in front of a child, exposing them to pornography, making sexually suggestive or explicit remarks, or taking photos of a child while they are changing clothes, showering, etc or getting them to pose for suggestive photos is all a form of sexual abuse, which she refers to as psychological incest. Emotional or covert incest, which doesnt involve anything sexual at all but pushes a child into an adult role on an emotional level (children in these instances often become partners for a parent, such as a confidant or just takes the place of the parent in a non-sexual way) can be just as damaging as actual incest.I want to pay particular attention to father-son incest, which is still one of the most under-reported. Again, the author does devote a brief chapter to this particular subject, but the motivation and psychological aspect of the perpetrator is lacking. After doing some of my own research, there is some validity to my earlier mention that there are parallels between father-son incest and father-daughter incest; many of the fathers are domineering, who often push their wives into a secondary role rather than that of an equal partner. Again, the incest aggressor is motivated by a need for control and dominance (stemming from their own feelings of inferiority, perhaps due to their own abusive pasts or a dominating mother), but sometimes abuse their sons sexually due to unresolved feelings about their own sexuality. Many of these fathers express homophobia, due to their own self-hatred, or because they view that what they do with their sons has nothing to do with homosexuality. The myths about this particular form of incest in some ways, makes it even harder for a victim to come forward. Being molested by a parent of the same sex has its own devastating effects, because the victims hate part of themselves as much as they do their role model, while desperately wanting the parents love and approval.Many incest survivors carry the scars they suffer into adulthood and this can have a profound affect on how they view the rest of the world and how they function in it. Because the people who were supposed to love them and in some situations, protect them betrayed them on the deepest, most profound level, it makes trust and any concept of being normal seem impossible. But books like this show that there is healing, and help available. If you are a survivor of incest, or sexual abuse,or any form of abuse, please know that you dont have to live with the pain and trauma for the rest of your life. You are worthy, and you deserve to have peace and happiness.Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation by Susan Forward view acquire free how to shop
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