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According to the Laws of Physics, it is impossible for Chuck Norris to build more muscle. Upon realizing this, Chuck Norris swiftly roundhouse kicked every law of physics known to man, as well as those known only by Chuck Norris. He now has the ability to build his muscles to any level of strength he desires at any given time.
Guns don kill people. Chuck Norris kills people
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no ctrl button on Chuck Norriss computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn happen.
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