January
Wednesday 19 October 2011 photo 1/1
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Corridors
Without thinking I came up from behind and hugged him tightly. I believe I gave him a fright, he wasn’t expecting me to do that. Why would he? We had only known each other for a couple of days, but I felt the urge to do that. I wanted to show him that I cared. I leaned in closely to his ear and whispered; if you jump, I can guarantee you that there will be one sad girl on you conscious.
He didn’t say anything in response. He just laid his arms on top of mine and stroked my hand with his thumb. I didn’t care about the people around, I didn’t know them. But he knew them and I could feel that he cared what other people thought, because they were his classmates, not mine. But I refused to let him go so I held him tighter and once again whispered in his ear:
“You are not alone, Oliver."
Then he whispered back, even lower than me. “Let go of me."
“No."
“Please Bella, let me go."
“Why?"
He exploded, forced my arms away and raised his voice. “Just let me be!"
I got pushed back a few steps and almost tumbled over. Now everyone was watching us with big eyes and question marks on their foreheads. Oliver spun around in his seat and looked up at me.
“Just leave me the fuck alone and stop pretending that you actually care."
That pissed me off, how could he even think that way, like I wouldn’t care for him? I grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him out of his chair. Then I dragged him along so we could talk privately. I pushed him up against the wall and looked him straight in the eyes. He protested along the way but I just hushed him silent. I stood very close to him and poked him once in the chest which was about the same height as my chin.
“Don’t you dare say something like that," I said with a low voice. “You have no idea what you’re talking about."
“I know exactly what I’m talking about Bella, you don’t give a shit about me," he tried to walk away but I stopped him and pulled him back.
“What are you talking about?" I said harshly.
“Like you wouldn’t know."
“I don’t understand, tell me, Oliver!"
“When I needed you, you just ran off and went flirting with that dude!"
“Who?" I was really confused, he was so upset and I didn’t understand a thing.
“Don’t try to play innocent. When we spoke this morning I told you I needed to talk to you over lunch. But you didn’t show up, instead you ran off with that tall, good looking guy and didn’t even see me when I walked by, like I was invisible." He looked away and refused to look me in the eyes. I thought I saw tears building up in the corner of his eye, but I wasn’t sure.
“Are you serious? I sent you a text saying I was going to eat with Christian because we needed to talk about our project for the next lesson." I said sharply.
“My phone battery is dead, so I didn’t get it."
“Well, I’m sorry, but that’s not my fault. And for the record, I was not flirting with him, he’s just a friend."
“Sure looked like flirting to me, just the two of you. And that giggling, smiling and what not."
“What is up with you today? Is this about me not having lunch with you or is it that I had it with someone else?"
“Do you think I’m jealous?"
“I don’t know what to think. I just want you to stop acting like this." I took a step back and made a gesture towards his body.
“Act like what?" He said irritated and crossed his arms over his chest. I just shook my head, looked to the ground and sighed heavily.
“Never mind. Even if I were flirting with him, you don’t have any rights to make me feel guilty in any way. I can flirt with whoever I want. I’m not yours."
“I know you’re not mine and I’m not replying it."
“Then stop acting like some jealous boyfriend and keep your nose out of things that doesn’t concern you."
“But they do concern me."
“In what possible way is my social life any of your concern or business?"
“It just is." He took a step closer.
“You are really a pain in the ass, do you kn…" before I got to finish the sentence he connected his lips to mine and put his arms around my waist to pull me closer. I surly didn’t saw that one coming, but even so, I didn’t even think about refusing the kiss. I just kind of went along with it and couldn’t help but kiss him back. It felt so wrong but yet so right at the same time. I didn’t really understand my own feelings; it was Oliver I was kissing. Part of me just wanted to pull him even closer and let me escape in his touch. While another part of me was screaming that this was wrong, that we were going way too fast and that I were supposed to stop this. But if I had to be honest with myself, I didn’t want to let him go.
He parted my lips and I let his tongue twirl around mine. I breathed in his sweet sent and locked my arm around his neck and fiddled with his short, blond hair between my fingers. With a deep sigh he pulled back and looked me in the eyes, still holding me by my waist.
“You talk too much," he whispered softly against my lips and kissed me again.
7/9 -11
Towa Bergh
Without thinking I came up from behind and hugged him tightly. I believe I gave him a fright, he wasn’t expecting me to do that. Why would he? We had only known each other for a couple of days, but I felt the urge to do that. I wanted to show him that I cared. I leaned in closely to his ear and whispered; if you jump, I can guarantee you that there will be one sad girl on you conscious.
He didn’t say anything in response. He just laid his arms on top of mine and stroked my hand with his thumb. I didn’t care about the people around, I didn’t know them. But he knew them and I could feel that he cared what other people thought, because they were his classmates, not mine. But I refused to let him go so I held him tighter and once again whispered in his ear:
“You are not alone, Oliver."
Then he whispered back, even lower than me. “Let go of me."
“No."
“Please Bella, let me go."
“Why?"
He exploded, forced my arms away and raised his voice. “Just let me be!"
I got pushed back a few steps and almost tumbled over. Now everyone was watching us with big eyes and question marks on their foreheads. Oliver spun around in his seat and looked up at me.
“Just leave me the fuck alone and stop pretending that you actually care."
That pissed me off, how could he even think that way, like I wouldn’t care for him? I grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him out of his chair. Then I dragged him along so we could talk privately. I pushed him up against the wall and looked him straight in the eyes. He protested along the way but I just hushed him silent. I stood very close to him and poked him once in the chest which was about the same height as my chin.
“Don’t you dare say something like that," I said with a low voice. “You have no idea what you’re talking about."
“I know exactly what I’m talking about Bella, you don’t give a shit about me," he tried to walk away but I stopped him and pulled him back.
“What are you talking about?" I said harshly.
“Like you wouldn’t know."
“I don’t understand, tell me, Oliver!"
“When I needed you, you just ran off and went flirting with that dude!"
“Who?" I was really confused, he was so upset and I didn’t understand a thing.
“Don’t try to play innocent. When we spoke this morning I told you I needed to talk to you over lunch. But you didn’t show up, instead you ran off with that tall, good looking guy and didn’t even see me when I walked by, like I was invisible." He looked away and refused to look me in the eyes. I thought I saw tears building up in the corner of his eye, but I wasn’t sure.
“Are you serious? I sent you a text saying I was going to eat with Christian because we needed to talk about our project for the next lesson." I said sharply.
“My phone battery is dead, so I didn’t get it."
“Well, I’m sorry, but that’s not my fault. And for the record, I was not flirting with him, he’s just a friend."
“Sure looked like flirting to me, just the two of you. And that giggling, smiling and what not."
“What is up with you today? Is this about me not having lunch with you or is it that I had it with someone else?"
“Do you think I’m jealous?"
“I don’t know what to think. I just want you to stop acting like this." I took a step back and made a gesture towards his body.
“Act like what?" He said irritated and crossed his arms over his chest. I just shook my head, looked to the ground and sighed heavily.
“Never mind. Even if I were flirting with him, you don’t have any rights to make me feel guilty in any way. I can flirt with whoever I want. I’m not yours."
“I know you’re not mine and I’m not replying it."
“Then stop acting like some jealous boyfriend and keep your nose out of things that doesn’t concern you."
“But they do concern me."
“In what possible way is my social life any of your concern or business?"
“It just is." He took a step closer.
“You are really a pain in the ass, do you kn…" before I got to finish the sentence he connected his lips to mine and put his arms around my waist to pull me closer. I surly didn’t saw that one coming, but even so, I didn’t even think about refusing the kiss. I just kind of went along with it and couldn’t help but kiss him back. It felt so wrong but yet so right at the same time. I didn’t really understand my own feelings; it was Oliver I was kissing. Part of me just wanted to pull him even closer and let me escape in his touch. While another part of me was screaming that this was wrong, that we were going way too fast and that I were supposed to stop this. But if I had to be honest with myself, I didn’t want to let him go.
He parted my lips and I let his tongue twirl around mine. I breathed in his sweet sent and locked my arm around his neck and fiddled with his short, blond hair between my fingers. With a deep sigh he pulled back and looked me in the eyes, still holding me by my waist.
“You talk too much," he whispered softly against my lips and kissed me again.
Towa Bergh
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