Nah, man, I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' at, but there are two trees involved.

They said "Let's call this hotel 'something tree'."

So they had a meeting, it was, it was quiet short.

"How about 'tree'?"

"No."

"'Double tree'?

"Hell yeah!"

"Meeting adjourned!"
"Aight my heart is set on quiet triple tree."
"Well, we were almost there!"

I got a 'Do not disturb' sign on my hoteldoor. It says 'do not disturb'.
It's time we go 'don't disturb'. It's been 'do not' for too long,
we need to embrace the contraction..
'Don't disturb' 'Do not' psyches you up.

'Do!' "Alright, I get to disturb this guy!" 'Not' "Shit!" ... "I need to read faster!"

I like to wear 'do not disturb' signs around my neck so that little
kids can't tell me 'knock-knock jokes'.

Say "Hey, how you doin nephew?"
"Knock knock?"
"Read the sign, punk!!"

My hotel doesn't have a thirteenth floor because of supersticion,
but come on man, people on the fourteenth floor? You know what floor you're really on..

"What room you in?"
"Fourteen oh one."
"No you're not!! Jump out the window you'll die earlier!!"

Cause thirteen's an unlucky number right,
but so must the letter 'B' be, cause 'B' looks like a scrunched
together thirteen..

"Hello, what is your name?"
"Bob."
"GET THE FUCK AWAY!!"

They say the recipe for sprite is lemon and lime
but I tried to make it at home, there's more to it than that!"

"Want some more homemade sprite?"
"Not 'til you figure out what the fuck else is in it!!"

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
1968-2005

Annons

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February 2013