I had nothing better to do...So I have done some writing...It's a tale...about a Dwarf. Så ursäkta min skrivning men den e på engelska så...så det är typ en preivew om den xD :

The Tale Of Thorb.
Once upon a time… or was it a time once upon? Maybe one day…or day one… I need a good begin with this tale. So let’s start with… he woke up…. Nah that doesn’t sound right. Thorb was a great man! Oh wait…he is a dwarf…Thorb was a great dwarf! Although he wasn’t so great… The Dwarf Thorb. Yeah…. I like that. Does that sound good to you? No? Well ok let’s try this then… The Sun raised over the mountains of the Fadinors grave. Wait…who Is Fadinors? I don’t know…It’s just sounded good to me. No you can’t just a pick a name like that, are this character even in this tale? Erm… maybe? No you can’t do that you know, now you have to start over. Ok…mom. I’m not your mother! No but you sound like her! Just tell me the fucking story! I’m trying…you just don’t like Fadinors… he was great man…I mean dwarf…fuck I mean elf! Are you sure that he is an elf? Wait…a second…Are you writing this down... you could hear the silence in the room. In this room they were two adult men… you could say that. One of them had a dream about a tale and now he is trying to write it down and the other…well they both don’t have any girlfriends so actually they had nothing better to do. Did you just write about us? In your book?! That doesn’t make any sense! Nah… can I start now? Yes you can. And you won’t interrupt me? No I won’t. Are you sure? Yes I’m. Thank you!

THIS IS THE TALE OF THORB!

Long time ago in an awesome fantasy world that I have dreamt. They were forest bigger than….our forest! Mountains stronger than rock! Well the sea is the same. In a deep dark forest full with living things like…animals, birds, worms… It’s a green forest full with happiness…well actually the world is…like almost dead because of the evil lord and bla bla blab bla. Don’t worry about evil lord…he isn’t in this tale. Anyway let's continue with this fucked up story or dream.... In deep of this forest sat an Dwarf, he had long white beard with jewels, he was bald. The Dwarfs name was Thorb. This Dwarf was the only dwarf who lived in the free nature, all the other dwarfs fled to the deep of every mountain they found, the elf hidden them self in other countries and the mankind....yeah about that, they have been slaughtered because they were extremly stupid. The Dark Lord had an army with like alot...more than millions and the humans had like none and they tried to stop them and....well they lost the first war. Anyway! Thorb just layed down in the grass, he smoke some weed with his pipe that was made of stone. His Eye's went red and he was verry happy, he diden't know about the evil in this world, he just never cared. Thorb lives a very simply life, he eat alot, smoke weed, go around the forest, sing all day long, eat some more, sleep. He lived under a rock.
- Oh weed, Oh weed, Oh weed, you are green and that doesn't rhyme, Thorb sang for himself and yes....he was naked.
Wait a second?! are you writing about a dwarf who smoke weed and is naked in the forest?!
Yeah so what? It was a dream ok?!
...you have weird dreams pal! I think you should get a girlfriend!
Me?! How about you? The man who masturbate everyday!! If someone needs a girlfriend It's you dude!
Just shut up and write!
Where was I? a yes, the naked high dwarf Thorb. Yes another thing he does Is...he drink's ale alot. If you the reader wonder how he gets all the food, beer and weed well then i have bad news for you...not even I know. As he layed on the grass on his fat beer belly.
- today I will make It, he said to himself and swerved around.
He start to try to make one pushup. He Pressed with all of his strength....he was not strong for being a dwarf.
- one.... and then he fell down in the ground, he almost made It. He laughed at himself and said:
- Tomorrow I will make It! and when I get to one houndred pushups then I'm ready to go back to the mountains of Yrr and face my father...Broht. Yes His father's name Is Broht...and no I don't know If he is still alive or not! He Is not even in this story! And Don't worry about that mountain either.... anyway back to Thorb! He stod up and looked around the trees, he was sweaty, he start to walk. He walked for hours and he sang for himself:
- Today Is great day, Today I feel strong, and I have ale in my belly, soon I will smoke some more and then I will wash my di... Thorb stopped he look at his right side and there It was....

Bathroom break!
The fuck man? Well I guess I wait then...
( ten minutes later)
That was Though. Well Where Was I?
Thorb was just about to say something about his dick?
No? That can't be right....aha Yes! It was dictionary!
I'm not gona say anything anymore....

He saw....Nothing! and then he continue the song:
- I will wash my dictionary, and eat some boar...If I found some....
He sang, drank and smoke then he smoked again.
- Hi excuse me?
Thorb jumped up and turn around and there was a man standing...a human. The man Notice that Thorb was naked and gave him an ugly appearance, they just looked at each other without saying a word for like two minutes or so.

Annons

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December 2012