August
Tuesday 18 September 2018 photo 7/7
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Download Piranhaconda
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In this sequel to Sharktopus, two Piranhacondas hunt down their stolen egg. The scientist who stole the egg hitchikes the island and meets up with a movie crew on-set of filming. The star, the scientist, and some crew-members get kidnapped by some money-craving people who put them on ransom for some dough. Meanwhile, a Piranhaconda roams the island, along the way eating an island-goer, and some scientists searching for a rare flower. The snake comes to the kidnappers' hideout and attacks. The crew and the scientist escape. The lead kidnapper finds a camera and realizes that the scientist stole the egg, which caused the snake to attack, and he decides to kill the snake, and the crew. The snake follows the crew, who are in a truck, but is wounded by a grenade. The second Piranhaconda arrives and, sensing blood, attacks its wounded mate. It then decides to track down the crew. The scientist reveals that he had the egg, so they try to escape via boat. But the Piranhaconda stalls their plans. The scientist pretends to get rid of the egg, but doesn't, causing the creature to follow them. The crew become trapped by the kidnappers, but the Piranhaconda crashes the party and eats the ransomers. The scientist and two crew members get back to the boat, but the man stays on shore to destroy the snake. In the water, the girl realizes that the scientist had the egg all along. She throws it in the river and shoves him overboard. He is then killed by the Piranhaconda. The girl goes back to shore and finds the boy. They lure the Piranhaconda to a waterfall using the egg. Jack slips a bomb into the case and threw it at the beast, then he and the girl jumped into the river below. The bomb went off and decapitated the snake. The two then decide to go on a date. They kiss as a third Piranhaconda devours them both. The camera switches to a shot of the waterfall, and the growl of the Piranhaconda is heard.
Two piranha/anaconda hybrid creatures hunt down the scientist who stole their egg and a film crew; making a slasher film in the jungle.
You know the story, and it doesn't matter all that much if you don't. Tacky effects, great scenery - Hawaii gorgeous as always, hot actresses and actors with serviceable acting ability and that guy who was in that thing that one time many years ago.
The only thing that keeps this from being an actual Sedaris movie is the absence of Andy or his son from the producer list and the lack of nudity since this is basic cable broadcast. The production companies should make these shows in dual-format for Syfy (who tragically lost their spell checker some years ago) and for Showtime or Cinemax.
The effects are really bad, I mean REALLY bad but the acting is OK and movies like this keep the majority of Hollywood in business, plus at least these actors got a trip to Hawaii, so I will give it a thumbs-up. Check it out.
Of course this is not a good movie! But what else did you expect from a movie called "Piranhaconda", about an half snake, half piranha, that loves to crush and eat people. At least everyone in this movie knew what they got involved with and never took things too seriously. This is often a good thing and it at least still keeps the movie somewhat fun and tolerable to watch.
Basically all of these movies play out the same; a killer animal is on the loose and randomly kills a bunch of people you don't even care about, with always a guy and girl, who used to be or still are in love, trying to kill the creature. Really, once you have seen one of these Roger Corman/Syfy channel movies, you have seen them all and know actually how things are going to play out. They don't even attempt anymore really to come up with some original moments. And it also seems that all of these movies got shot at the same locations, no doubt because they were the cheapest to film at. It basically makes this movie just like any other one, that came out recently, done by Corman.
People that enjoy movies will still get a kick out of it. There is plenty of cheese and camp to enjoy, coming from the hands of the actors and filmmakers. It isn't trying to be more than it is and it makes no assumptions about it that this is being even a remotely good movie.
The one thing that always stands out about these movies, in terms of horrible quality, are its special effects. I don't know who keeps doing these special effects from his mother's basement on his home computer but it's absolutely horrible and I sincerely hope they start putting some more money and effort into it in the near future, since it will most likely make the movies less annoying and cringing to watch.
And I really don't know what Michael Madsen is doing in this. He got top billing, probably because of his name and fame but in fact he is only being a supporting character, that could had been played by anybody really.
Only somewhat watchable and enjoyable if you like cheesy bad movies. Everybody else will only be annoyed and amazed at how bad this movie in fact is.
4/10
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