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Download The Pacifier
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After a Navy SEAL fails to rescue a scientist who developed a top secret device, he is assigned to guard the man's children while searching for information on where the device may be hidden inside the house. Along the way, he must cope with rebellious teens, child care, an overbearing school official, and foreign spies also looking for it.
Having recovered from wounds received in a failed rescue operation, Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe is handed a new assignment: Protect the five Plummer kids from enemies of their recently deceased father -- a government scientist whose top-secret experiment remains in the kids' house.
In 1990, Arnold Schwarzenegger played a tough police officer that is softened up by the love of children in "Kindergarten Cop." It was decent movie that allowed Schwarzenegger to parody the "Terminator" image he had established up to that point. After 14 years, it's time for Disney to recycle that premise and now that Arnie's the governor of California, they've hired Vin Diesel to take his spot.
"The Pacifier" begins with Navy S.E.A.L. Shane Wolfe (Diesel) leading a rescue operation to save the life of an important computer scientist, Howard Plummer. The operation goes wrong, leading to the death of Plummer and disgrace to Wolfe.
Plummer had been working on a computer program that can shut down missile defense systems on demand. The government suspects that the program is inside of a safe deposit box in Europe, so Plummer's wife Julie (Faith Ford) heads there and Wolfe is assigned to protect her five kids.
The five children are: punk-rocker Seth (Max Theriot), frilly drama queen Zoe (Brittany Snow), sweet and occasionally lewd Lulu (Morgan York), rambunctious toddler Peter (twins Keegan and Logan Hoover), and baby Tyler (twins Bo and Luke Vink). In the most usual turn of events, Wolfe doesn't like the disorder of the household and the Plummer children don't like him. Wolfe also clashes with the European nanny.
After the nanny quits, making sure the kids get to school on time and changing the baby's diapers become another of Wolfe's tasks. Wolfe uses his military training and know-how to instill some discipline on the children. In return, the kids teach him a thing or two about life.
Lauren Graham plays the role of school principal and former naval officer, providing Wolfe with a love interest. I guess "Gilmore Girls" wasn't doing enough for her career.
Unfortunately, the movie is not much better than the lame plot. Writers Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant, who brought us the Jimmy Fallon bomb "Taxi", must have thought of as many clichés as they could to stuff into this film. I guess they thought including a duck that acts like an attack dog would cover the originality aspect.
Director Adam Shankman ("Bringing Down the House") doesn't bring anything to the mix either. The situations that are put on screen are occasionally funny, such as one involving Lulu and her girl scout friends beating up malevolent boy scouts using some newly acquired Karate skills. However, most scenes that could have had these kinds of laughs fall short.
The acting in the film is mediocre at best. I think Diesel might be better than the material. (I actually thought he did a decent job in "The Chronicles of Riddick.") The kids aren't too bad either. York, playing Lulu, delivers a small punch in her lovable role.
"The Pacifer" is one of those movies that anyone over the age of nine will feel insulted after watching it. Just because a movie is intended for a family audience doesn't mean it has to stink like a baby's diaper.
but if you must, this one is Kindergarden Cop meets Uncle Buck. Few posters if any seem to realize the similarities with the minor John Candy movie, but many recognize the tough guy with children relationship that this has with The Governor's successful comedy outing.
The point of this movie is to have an hour or so of entertainment for the entire family. Few will find anything offensive or scary here. That's a fairly rare comment one can make about what Hollywood churns out these days. The sex isn't. The violence so silly that even the youngest kids recognize that nobody is being hurt. At one point, the main character shoots the arch villain with fruit juice. That's about the top of the violence scale here.
The kids enjoyed this movie quite a bit. The parents were OK with it and we all spent a pleasant afternoon because of it. There are no big messages, no teens annoyingly coming of age, no serious villains. The closest we come to a villain, besides the comic book variety, ends up joining the group in the end so instead of defeat, they co-opt him.
Well worth the time and money.
Has sufficient mayhem to please Diesel's action fans while allowing the star to reach out to family audiences.
In order to obtain the PG rating in Britain, the word "spaz" has been replaced by "jerk" in one sentence. a5c7b9f00b
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